Welcome To My Life
by Pineapplecat
Summary: AU. After causing a large amount of property damage, Gilbert Beilschmidt gets sent to a mental hospital, courtesy his brother. Will he find a way to help himself? Or will he be stuck in there forever? Eventual PruCan, rated M for language.
1. Chapter 1

Author's note: Oh my, a mental hospital AU…that's different from my last fic huh? I'm really excited to write this! Anyway, there will be notes at the end explaining a couple of things, so I'll stop wasting your time up here. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Okay, I'm just giving a big, over arching disclaimer for the whole story because I don't want to write this a million times (no, I'm not going to have a million chapters). Anyway, I own nothing and probably never will. Same goes for every other chapter I write.

* * *

"Okay, West, jokes over!" Gilbert said, laughing shakily, "I've learned my lesson…I won't cause any more trouble for you I promise! You made your point, let's go home. Come on!"

Ludwig only continued to grip the steering wheel tighter as his brother pleaded with him. Gilbert grew more and more frustrated as he spoke. Ludwig wouldn't even make eye contact with him! He just stared straight ahead with a stare almost intense enough to bore holes in the road rushing towards them. He was serious about this. Totally and utterly serious.

"You can't do this to me!" Gilbert yelled. His brother retained is silence as he made a quick right. The car lurched awkwardly, betraying Ludwig's inner turmoil.

Gilbert couldn't believe this happening to him. He couldn't believe Ludwig, his _little brother_, was doing this to him. Wow, what a crappy day this turned out to be.

Gilbert had had lots of crappy days in his lifetime. Days when he felt like everything was wrong. With him. With his brother. With his friends. Days where he just felt like total and utter crap because nothing was ever right. Days that sucked so bad because they were becoming more and more frequent.

Yeah, those days.

Gilbert had had one of _those_ days yesterday. Today was worse.

There's nothing quite as bad coming home in the morning after _forgetting_ about a crappy day to find your little brother waiting for you with your bags in his hands. Except maybe finding out that the reason all your stuff is neatly packed up is that he's committing you.

"You can't do this, Ludwig," Gilbert growled.

Ludwig still said nothing. Gilbert barely noticed his pained expression.

"YOU CAN'T COMMIT ME AGAINST MY WILL, LUDWIG!" he screamed, anger boiling up from inside. This was so unfair! He thought that his brother loved him! How could the one person he trusted betray him like this? "You're a fucking asshole!" he snapped.

Ludwig flinched, but still did not answer his brother.

"YOU'RE A FUCKING ASSHOLE!" Gilbert screamed again.

"You chased Ms. Elderburry's cat with a baseball bat," his brother simply stated, voice quiet. He still wasn't looking at him.

"What did you just say?" Gilbert snarled, still royally pissed (as he had every right to be!).

"Our neighbor, Ms. Elderburry? You chased her cat out of our yard with a baseball bat," Ludwig sighed.

"I know who Ms. Elderburry is; you don't have to tell me!" Gilbert hissed, Ludwig flinched again but stayed silent, "And that stupid pussy was going to eat Gilbird."

"I'm well aware that you thought that…so is the whole neighborhood thanks to your barely intelligible screaming…"

"What do you mean I _thought_ it was going to eat Gilbird? It _was_ going to eat him!" Gilbert snapped.

"Gilbird was at the vet yesterday, Gilbert," Ludwig whispered, his voice shaking as he tried to calm himself.

"Yeah so?" Gilbert said, defensively, his voice rising in volume. "Why are we even talking about this anyway?"

"Do you know how it feels to come back from working a six hour shift on top of early morning classes and…" Ludwig started.

"Not this again!" Gilbert groaned. Stupid Ludwig always making him feel bad with his martyr-like attitude… It wasn't like he kept getting fired on purpose.

"Listen, just this once Gil…" Ludwig said, still quiet, but his voice had a pleading tone, "Do you know how it feels to come back from work to find your neighbor's yard ransacked and several of her car windows broken?"

"No I do not, West…is that what you want to hear?" Gilbert growled.

"Think about how I felt seeing all the damage and hearing that it was_ you_ who was to blame. My beloved brother! My brother who chased an innocent animal in a blind rage while swinging a blunt object crazily. My brother who nobody could tell me where he was because he probably had gone off to drink until he couldn't see or went and had sex with someone he didn't know in an alley or both!"

"Oh gee, West…I could think about it…maybe we could talk…it would be so easy to do that IF WE WEREN'T ON OUR WAY TO A MENTAL ASYLUM!" Gilbert started out calm but ended up screaming again.

"Do you know how much damage you caused?" Ludwig yelled, finally turning to look at him, "Ms. Elderburry is a nice woman!"

"And I'm just terrible…" Gilbert grumbled.

"You know that's not what I'm saying and you are so god damn lucky Ms. Elderburry is as nice as she is…."

"Just shut up about how nice she is!" Gilbert yelled.

"NO! Because you know what? The only reason YOU are not at an arraignment hearing right now is because of HER GOODWILL!" Ludwig was desperately losing his battle with his emotions. He swiftly pulled the car over on the side of the road, trying to regain his composure. He sat still, saying nothing for several minutes. Gilbert stayed silent too, not sure of what to say. "She said she wouldn't press charges if I got you some help," he finally said, pulling back onto the road, "You know we don't have the money to go through a lawsuit, the only reason we have the house is because of the life insurance…"

"So this is just about the money isn't it?" Gilbert spat accusingly.

"You know it isn't," Ludwig sighed, adding in a whisper, "You need help, Bruder."

"Oh yeah, so you're just going to toss my ass in an institution? That's nice! After all I've done for you? You didn't even consider just taking me to a shrink?" Gilbert growled.

"Would you really have gone? We already tried that a couple of months ago after…." Ludwig seemed like he couldn't bear to end that sentence.

"Hmmm… Maybe, worked for you didn't it?" Truthfully, he probably would have refused to go to that too. Gilbert stayed silent for a moment, watching as Ludwig's left hand tapped absently at the steering wheel. He knew that pattern well. _One two three four…pause…one two three four…pause…_ "Did you take your meds today?" he asked, actually worried, but the question came out more meanly then he intended. Ludwig scowled at him.

"Why are you asking?" he said gruffly. That pissed Gilbert off.

"You know Luddie, I put up with you and your crazy shit for years! Light switches…on off on off on off…do you know how annoying that was, sharing a room with you? I dealt with your stupid compulsions because I cared about you. Look how I'm repaid for my kindness!" he ranted. If his brother was going to be a douche bag asshole then he could be too.

"Can't you see how much this hurts me, Gilbert! It's not about the money! It's not about me having to pick up your slack in order for us to eat! It's not about our neighbors think of us! It's about you! You're sick! You need help, and this is the only way you are going to get it! You know just as well as I do that you won't accept outpatient treatment! I can't let you do this to yourself anymore, Bruder!" Ludwig finally cried, his resolve to be calm finally abandoned.

"D-do what?" Gilbert mumbled, momentarily subdued by the outburst.

"It's terrifying when you get angry, and there's never a good reason for it. One day you're fine, the next day you won't leave your room! Sometimes it feels like you really truly hate me…when you yell some of those…._things_…" Ludwig burst out, looking like he might cry, "But what's worse is the reckless shit you pull! Every time you don't come home at night, I get in the car and drive around looking for you. You don't even know how worried I am that you're going to OD on something, or blackout in the streets and get run over by a car…or catch something bad from an anonymous partner…Bruder, you're really worrying me…" he said, his voice growing softer as he reached towards one of Gilbert's wrists, implying that there was another thing on his list. Gilbert pulled away, glaring at him sharply. Wait when had the car stopped moving? Looking around he noticed that they were in the parking lot of a very familiar psychiatric hospital.

"Ludwig, really? You're committing me to Opa's hospital? What? Did he give you a good price?" Gilbert growled. Ludwig didn't answer his question.

"If you refuse to voluntarily go, I'm going to try to have you declared legally incompetent," Ludwig simply said. Gilbert was about to start screaming again when he noticed Ludwig was still tapping at his steering wheel, albeit more quickly this time. Ludwig was not one to skip on his meds, he was anal in that way (well in a lot of ways…), so it probably was the stress that was making him unconsciously revert to one of his rituals. _One two three four…pause…one two three four…pause…_and then Gilbert remembered what Ludwig had told him once about his compulsions. He used to think that if he didn't do them, someone he loved would get hurt as a consequence. Hell, maybe he still secretly believed that, Gilbert wasn't sure. Gilbert knew his brother was still struggling with that kind of stuff…especially since Vater…

"Well, Opa's going to be disappointed," Gilbert responded, trying to sound jovial, "I mean, now he can't leave this place to either of us. It will be like the blind leading the blind!" He laughed hollowly at the joke. Ludwig didn't even smile. It really wasn't that funny.

Tap! Tap! Gilbert looked up to see a smiling nurse at his window.

"Are you going to come out of the car, Mr. Beilschmidt?" she asked, voice muffled by the glass. Oh, so Ludwig called ahead. _Lovely_.

Gilbert didn't answer; he just swung the door open, causing the nurse to back up in surprise.

"Gilbert…" Ludwig growled, already moving to get his bags from the trunk of his car.

"Sorry, accident…" Gilbert grumbled.

"That's okay," nurse said, still smiling. Rude patients were probably the least stressful part of her job. "Are you ready to come inside?" she asked. Gilbert sighed. Ludwig turned to look at him, eyes pleading.

"Yeah, I guess so…"

* * *

"Do you want to fill this out?" Ludwig asked, gesturing towards the clipboard the nurse had handed him. A glare from Gilbert answered his question. "Or do you want me to?"

"Be my guest…" Gilbert muttered. Sure, he would go along with this for Ludwig's sake, but he didn't have to be happy.

Ludwig began to write all of Gilbert's personal information on the form in his beautiful, perfect handwriting.

Sometimes he hated how perfect his brother was. He always thought he was being compared to his brother. Ludwig's perfection just accentuated how much was messed up Gilbert was.

But sometimes, on nights when he could hear Ludwig locking and unlocking the front door repeatedly, he just felt bad and…worried.

Suddenly, he felt bad that he had put so much stress on Ludwig and had made him worry. When had he become such a terrible person?

"Finished," Ludwig told him quietly as a dark-haired man approached them. Gilbert looked up, scrutinizing him with a glare. He looked like a total stick-up-his ass prick, doctor's coat and all. His shiny name tag read "RODERICH EDELSTEIN".

"Hello, Mr. Beilschmidt," the man said, obviously speaking to Ludwig. Gilbert was used to his brother being called by their last name while he was always just Gilbert. The nurse from earlier was the first person in a while to have addressed Gilbert as "Mr. Beilschmidt". Well, the neighborhood kids usually called him Mr. B, but his exchanges with them were limited to the usual question of "Mommy, what's wrong with Mr. B?" which was always followed by a "Shhh…it's not polite to point and stare, honey!" Ugh, life sucks.

"I'm sure Gilbert and I will work very well together, don't you think so, Gilbert?" Dr. Stuffy McFancypants asked, turning towards him. Oh shit. Was he supposed to be listening?

"Uh, yeah sure, Roddy, whatever you say…" he mumbled, trying to give a goofy grin, but it probably just came off as hysterical.

"I'm sure you and _Dr. Edelstein_ will get along well, Bruder…" Ludwig said giving him a stern look.

"Whatever you say…" Gilbert grumbled as the nurse from before walked up to them.

"Okay, Mr. Beilschmidt," she said, before noticing the confused look on Ludwig's face, "Um, Gilbert… We just need you to sign this form…." She held another clipboard to him, along with a pen. Gilbert snatched them from her and signed on the line without even looking at the words.

"There," he grumbled.

"Thank you very much," the nurse said, smiling as she retrieved the form as well as the one Ludwig had finished filling out."Just let me know when you're ready." She then went to wait next to the door leading to the heavily fortified door leading to the rest of the asylum.

"I'll be seeing you later," Roddy told him, walking off. It seemed that everyone in the room was giving the two brothers space. Both the nurse waiting for him and the secretary behind the desk seemed to look away and even the security guard near the heavy door was making it obvious that he reading a magazine that he found _very_ interesting. What was up with them? Gilbert was about to give Ludwig a "wtf is up with everybody?" look when he noticed that his usually stoic brother looked pretty…upset.

"Hey, West…" Gilbert mumbled, leaning on the affectionate, but unexplainable nickname, "It'll be alright… I mean, I'll be okay…" He figured this was the time to try and be a decent big brother.

"Bruder…" Ludwig murmured, pulling him into a one-armed-half-man-hug-thing. It was kind of awkward, but that was West for you. "Ich werde bald..." Ludwig whispered.

"Wirklich schnell. Ich verspreche Ihnen…" Gilbert replied. Ludwig released him from the terrible hug, and walked towards the door. He turned and waved, but didn't open the door to leave.

"Are you ready Mr. Beilschmidt?" the nurse asked quietly.

"What…?" Gilbert asked, "Oh, uh yeah… I guess…" He didn't move though, he was too absorbed with the idea that Ludwig was really going to leave him there. The nurse walked slowly over to him and grabbed his elbow, leading him gently over towards the door. He numbly followed her guiding hand, waving to his brother sadly.

West just stood there, looking forlorn.

* * *

Well, that was just about the most horrible thing ever.

Sure the physical was alright at first. Just the normal check-up like things…height, weight, pulse, blood pressure…

"Alright, hun, please remove your pants…" When the nurse snapped on those rubber gloves he knew he was in trouble.

"Wait…what?"

Her hands were so cold…

The high-pressure shower wasn't very awesome either.

Gilbert scowled as he walked down the clean, white hall, glaring at each door that he and the orderly that was accompanying him passed.

"When am I getting my stuff back?" he grumbled at said orderly. They had taken his bags away as soon as he went with the nurse into the infirmary for his physical. He was stuck wearing sweatpants until he got back to his beloved skinny jeans…

"My name is Antonio, nice to meet you too," the orderly, Antonio laughed. Gilbert just growled at him. "Your bags are probably waiting for you in your room. They're pretty quick when it comes to searching them."

"What! They looked through my stuff!" Gilbert exclaimed, though he vaguely realized he shouldn't be surprised after the _invasive_ procedures he just had to go through.

"Of course, we can't have you bringing just anything in here you know…" Antonio laughed again. This guy was way too happy to be working in a mental hospital. "Ah! Here we are. Your door's on the right," he suddenly said as he gently grabbed Gilbert—by the elbow, just as the nurse had—and guided him in the right direction. Gilbert shrugged him off, deciding he didn't like being directed around.

"I can walk fine myself, thanks," he mumbled.

"No problem," Antonio sighed, holding up his hands in front of his chest as signaling that he meant no harm. As they walked up to the door, he knocked quietly, calling, "Lovino! Are you in there?"

Lovino? Oh shit! He had a roommate! Fuuuuuck….

The door opened suddenly, revealing a short brunette with a lone curl sticking out from his hair and a scowl on his face, "What the fuck do you want, Antonio? Checks isn't for 3 more minutes…" he stopped when he saw Gilbert standing in front of him.

"Why the hell is there a fucking albino standing in front of me?" Lovino asked, looking pretty miffed.

"He's your new roommate, Lovi," Antonio said, smiling gleefully.

"Fuck that!" Lovino swore, trying to close the door. Antonio stopped him with his foot.

"Not so fast, Lovi~" Antonio chuckled, "His stuff is in there isn't it?"

"Yeah, it is…" Lovino mumbled, "I guess he can come and get it…"

"That means he's happy to be rooming with you, Gilbert!" Antonio chirped.

"It does not!" Lovino growled, turning red as he stalked further into his—their—room. Antonio followed him in and Gilbert entered after the orderly, looking around at his new living space.

It was small, but not terribly so…but the bars on the windows creeped him out… There were two beds, one on each side of the room with a bedside table in between. There was an armoire on the right wall and a door on the left. Gilbert stared at the door for a bit, wondering where it went.

"That goes to our bathroom," Lovino stated as if Gilbert was the dumbest asshole in the world, "We share it with our neighbors: the Wonder Twins…"

"The Wonder Twins?" Gilbert asked, confused. Who the fuck were the Wonder Twins?

"Don't worry; there are far worse people to share a bathroom with…" Lovino said, probably trying to be reassuring or something, but he instead just sounded like a huge dickwad, "They keep to themselves and don't bother me. Plus, I'm pretty sure they don't beat it in the shower."

"Lovi!" Antonio exclaimed, still looking happy but seemed a little exasperated, "Don't talk about stuff like that!"

"Why not?" Lovino barked, "It's a perfectly natural thing to talk about!" As the two started to banter, Gilbert wandered over to the left bed, which he assumed was his, given that his bags were on top of it. He started to rifle through one of them, looking for his jeans. Where were they….?

"Where are my jeans?" he asked, kind of ticked. Did West forget to pack them? That asshole….

"Do you really think I would choose to wear ugly shit like this all the fucking time?" Lovino snapped, gesturing to his track pants and t-shirt.

"Clothing with metal parts is strictly forbidden," Antonio said, going all rules-y on them, "It's for safety reasons…"

"If you cry and scream enough they'll probably let you have something if it means a lot you though…" Lovino said, again seeming as if he wanted to help.

"Lovino! Don't encourage that kind of behavior!" Antonio said, finally frowning a bit.

"You better _really _want it though, 'cause they'll fucking remove all the buttons and zippers and shit…" Lovino added "God forbid we choke!"

"Do they think I'll choke on my toothbrush too? Because that's not here either…" Gilbert grumbled, trying not to care that his cute yellow chick toothbrush was absent. He kept rummaging through his neatly packed (thanks, West!) bag, looking for something far more important than a toothbrush.

"They don't want us to whittle them into shanks so they supply ones that are hard to….are you looking for something?" Lovino paused his explanation as Gilbert got more agitated as he ransacked his bag. Antonio had noticed his change in demeanor and had quickly gotten way closer to Gilbert, his relaxed state gone.

"Something wrong, buddy?" he asked calmly, but his eyes were searching him up and down, waiting for him to make a move. Gilbert ignored how creeped out his was by the orderly's suspicions.

"Where'd they put the stuff I came in with…where are those clothes?" Gilbert growled, trying not yell. No way could he survive this place without it…he just couldn't…

"It was probably all deemed unsafe and given to your brother to take home for you. Bud, do you need something?" Antonio asked slowly, voice still soft.

"I need my free phone call…" Gilbert snapped.

"Your what? This isn't fucking prison!" Lovino growled. Antonio shot him a "be quiet now" look.

"I need to make a phone call. NOW!" Gilbert tried to stay calm, he really did…but he just couldn't. Antonio quickly grabbed a hold of his elbow, his face totally serious.

"Alright, buddy…you can make a call. Can you tell me what's the matter?" he asked, voice still calm.

"I NEED TO TALK TO WEST NOW!" Gilbert yelled, thrashing a bit, "NOW! NOW! NOW! NOW!"

"I won't take you anywhere if you don't calm down," Antonio warned. Gilbert tried to compose himself.

"….please…?" was the pitiful response he could manage. He hated that he sounded like he was about to cry. "I need to talk to Bruder…."

"Okay, come with me…" Antonio said in his calm voice, leading Gilbert out of his room and down the hall, "That's right settle down, it will be okay…"

Soon they had reached the office area of the hospital. Gilbert sat in the reception area while Antonio talked to Dr. Roddy in a hushed tone. Behind the two of them, Gilbert could see the doors of all the shrink's offices. He was too caught up in his present problem to think about how much he was dreading going in one of those offices. Suddenly, the two men in front of him stopped speaking and Dr. Roddy slowly walked towards him.

"So, you want to speak with your brother, Gilbert?" he asked in the eerily calm tone that Antonio had used earlier. Damn, these people were good.

"Yes! Right now! I need to!" Gilbert snapped angrily.

"No, you want to speak with your brother. You do not _need_ to speak with him," Dr. Roddy said sternly, but his tone remained calm.

"NO! I NEED TO CALL HIM RIGHT NOW!" Gilbert yelled.

"That's not going to happen if you are not calm." What was with everyone wanting him to be calm when he was clearly upset?

"I AM CALM!" he screamed.

"No, you're not, Gilbert. Can you take three deep breaths for me?" Dr. Roddy asked, "Let's try it: 1…2…3…." Gilbert did as he was told, trying to calm down for the sake of being allowed to call Ludwig. "There we go, that's better…" his doctor murmured, "Let's go make a call." With that he placed his hand gently on Gilbert's shoulder, easing him out of the chair he was sitting in. Slowly they made their way to one of the offices. Antonio followed, watching Gilbert like a hawk.

Dr. Roddy had Gilbert sit in a chair across from his desk while he punched the numbers in the phone. Antonio stayed in the doorway, still watching. Once he was finished dialing the number, Dr. Roddy pushed the phone in Gilbert's direction. Gilbert moved his hand towards it, ready to pick it up but was stopped by Dr. Roddy's hand stilling his own.

"It's on speakerphone," he stated calmly. Of course it was. Goodbye personal space.

"Ja, this is Ludwig," his brother's voice came from the speaker of the phone cradle.

"West! West!" Gilbert cried. Dr. Roddy put a finger to his lips.

"Calm down please, Gilbert," he said softly.

"I am calm!" Gilbert snapped.

"I don't think you are. Would you like to try breathing again?"

"No!"

"Bruder, what's wrong?" Ludwig sounded worried.

"Do you have it?" Gilbert asked, again upset at the fact that he sounded close to tears.

"Oh," his brother sighed, "Ja, I do. It is safe."

"Please bring it back…" Gilbert begged.

"What are you talking about, Gilbert?" Dr. Roddy asked, "What do you need?"

"I NEED MY BROTHER TO BRING IT BACK!" Gilbert screamed. Antonio was at his side in an instant, ready for action in case Gilbert started to get violent.

"Mr. Beilschmidt, what is Gilbert talking about?" Dr. Roddy asked calmly.

"His Iron Cross…" Ludwig voice answered, "It means a lot to him…but if you don't think he should have it…"

"No! I need it, West!" Gilbert yelled into the speaker.

"Gilbert, this is something you want, not something you need," Dr. Roddy stated, "Your necklace is a potential choking hazard…"

"I WOULD NEVER TRY TO EAT MY FUCKING IRON CROSS!" Gilbert screeched.

"But other patients—"

"LIKE I WOULD LET THOSE FUCKERS TOUCH IT!"

"Gilbert, I'm going to ask you one more time to calm down, if you can't control yourself, I will have no choice but to administer something to help you…."

"I'm calm! I'm calm! I'm calm…." It didn't help that every time he tried to be calm he ended up close to tears, or in this case, actually crying. He put his head on the doctor's desk, shaking slightly.

"….and since we have made certain concessions before, I think we can make an exception for your brother." Wait, Roddy was still talking.

"That would be good, thank you," Ludwig replied, sounding shaken up.

"As long as he keeps it on his neck at all times and under his shirt, I don't think there will be any problem," Roddy said to Gilbert just as much to Ludwig, "But if there is, privileges can always be taken away…"

"I'll be there in a moment," Ludwig said.

"Oh, you must be home by now or close to it, maybe we could wait until tomorrow…" Dr. Roddy responded.

"Actually…" Ludwig suddenly appeared at the door, accompanied by a nurse.

"He has been sitting in the parking lot for some time now…" the nurse explained. Ludwig looked embarrassed.

"I thought you might need me…" he whispered. Gilbert looked up at him.

"West…" he whimpered. His brother instantly rushed over and showed him the iron cross in his hand.

"Here you are, Bruder. Everything is okay now," he said quietly, clasping the necklace around his neck.

"West, I'm sorry….why am I so messed up?" He just spent ten minutes freaking out over a necklace, why? Why was he so upset?

"It was a present from Vater, I know how much it means to you," Ludwig simply said, taking out his matching one from under his shirt. He touched the two pieces of metal together with a soft _clink!_

"West!" Gilbert cried, throwing his arms over his brother. He was so beyond the point of embarrassment, nothing really mattered anymore.

"Werde bald wieder, Bruder...werde bald wieder…" Ludwig whispered, stroking his hair, "I miss you too much already..."

* * *

Okay, these notes will be a little long, because I want to get all this stuff explained at the beginning, so bear with me and please read these notes, especially if you have a question!

First off, translations:

Bruder: brother, Vater: Father, Opa: Grandpa

"Ich werde bald..." = "I will see you soon"

"Wirklich schnell. Ich verspreche Ihnen…" = "Really soon. I promise."

On the disorders: Every character that is a patient is written with an actual mental disorder in mind. None of them are "just crazy". I did quite a bit of research for this fic, and I'm trying to be as accurate as possible while still (attempting) to stay true to the original characterization. The specific disorders will usually not be said outright, because it is unlikely that Romano, who introduces most of the other patients to Gilbert knows the all the technical jazz. Roderich will eventually diagnose Gilbert, so you'll definitely find out what his disorder is, don't worry! I'll try to make it fairly obvious as far as symptoms go, but if you ever wonder what disorder I'm basing a character off of, please, just ask. It's not a secret; it just doesn't stylistically work for me to just state the obvious. Also, please let me know if I'm characterizing anything wrong!

On PruCan: Yes, I plan to develop a relationship between them. Will there be smut? Probably not... Just the unlikeliness of a mental asylum setting... It just doesn't work for me.

On Gilbert's character: Yeah, he's kind of OOC in this chapter, mostly because he's having a shitty day. His self image is supposed to fluctuate due to his disorder, so there will be times where he seems not himself. Don't worry though, his arrogant, prick-like self will be back in the next chapter.

* * *

Um, yeah. I think that's it… maybe there's more to explain, but if no one asks further, I'll just assume everyone's good.

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing, I really appreciate it.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's note: omg… Thanks everyone… All the reviews were so nice! It makes me feel loved, thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

* * *

"Oh, you're back," Lovino stated, his face blank as Gilbert returned to their room with Antonio trailing behind.

"Yeah, so?" Gilbert asked, scowling at his roommate.

"Oh, I just thought that you were going to be thrown in solitary for sure…" Romano explained, shrugging. "You looked like you were on the verge of a major freak out… Damn, I thought that I'd get one more night of good sleep…"

"Lovi, play nice," Antonio chided, but remained smiling. Gilbert was relieved to see that the orderly was back to his easy-going self. He didn't really like Antonio when he was in 'business mode'.

"What-the-fuck-ever, Antonio," Lovino snapped. Antonio just laughed.

"Just try to get along with this one, okay? I'm sure the administrators are tired of switching your roommates to different rooms," the orderly said as if amused.

"Shut the fuck up!"

Antonio chuckled again, brushing off the angry kid's insult, "Why don't you get unpacked, Gilbert? I'm sure Lovi made room for you in the armoire…" he suggested.

"Unfortunately."

"Gee, thanks _Lovi_…" Gilbert sneered.

"Shut up dickhead!" Lovino snapped. "Don't call me that!"

"Now boys…behave," Antonio said sternly, but he looked like he was about to laugh. "Lovino, how about you show Gilbert around after he's finished unpacking? It's free time right now and the common room is open."

"I guess I probably don't have a choice…" Lovino grumbled.

"Great! Checks are in ten minutes, so if you're still in here, I'll see you then," Antonio said, before adding, "Be a nice boy, Lovi!"

"Yeah, whatever, douche…" Lovino growled. Antonio just chuckled as he left the room to go patrol the halls…or do whatever the hell he did. Gilbert really didn't care what his job was supposed to be…but that reminded him…

"What are checks?" he asked his grouchy roommate.

"Oh, they're just one of the many ways they invade our privacy," Lovino said, voice pissy as usual. "From eight to nine, they check in the rooms every fifteen minutes."

"What the fuck?" Gilbert asked.

"It's to make sure we're not hurting ourselves or some bullshit like that…" his roommate answered, his seemingly permanent scowl deepening, "They also just 'pop in' randomly too…probably want to catch us changing…fucking perverts…"

"Well that sucks…" Gilbert growled, turning to unpack his ransacked bags. What the…? Had he just been high on crack when he went through these? There were clothes all over his bed and on the floor…West would have a fit if he saw this mess…

"You can say that again," Lovino huffed. "Oh, and if you hear banging from the bathroom, it's just the staff checking on the Wonder Twins. They tend to freak the fuck out if either of those two stays in there for what is considered 'too long'." He made air quotes with his fingers are he said the last two words.

"Uh…" Gilbert still didn't really who the Wonder Twins were, so nothing Lovino had just said made much sense to him.

"Huh? Are you almost done yet?" Lovino snapped. No, he wasn't. _Obviously_. His stuff was still in an exploded heap, but the little dark-haired kid looked pretty irritated about having to wait for him. Lovino was looking at him condescendingly, hands on his hips. God he looked like such a prissy bitch. Well fuck it.

"Actually, yes I am done," he said, smirking at his roommate's shocked expression. Quickly he scooped up all his clothes and shoved them into the armoire.

"Wait…what! NO!" Lovino yelled. "Don't do that! Fold those before I hurt you!"

"Only if you tell how awesome I am!" Gilbert said gleefully.

"DO IT NOW FUCKTARD!" Romano yelled. Gilbert just laughed in response, but complied regardless.

Bothering Lovino was fun.

He felt a little better already.

* * *

"Okay, this is the stupid common room…" Lovino grumbled, obviously disliking how he had to give Gilbert a tour. Considering that he apparently got new roommates often, he was probably was pretty sick of showing people around. The common room was down the hall from their room, seemingly in the middle of the building they were in. According to Lovino, they were in the young adult ward.

Gilbert surveyed the room, grimacing at all the pastel colors. There were various patients wandering around or sitting on the multitude of plush couches and chairs. Some of them were reading books or doing puzzles. A couple of them appeared to be coloring. Most were just doing nothing or talking to themselves. As for the pros, the windows in this room weren't barred, allowing the early afternoon light to flood in the spacious room without ugly shadows marring the stream. The higher ups of the hospital probably wasn't worried about anyone trying to climb out them due to the fact that there was so many nurses and orderlies milling about, discretely watching every one out of the corners of their eyes.

"Well, at least there's a TV, right?" Gilbert laughed, focusing on the one of the only good things in the room.

"It only gets 13 channels…" Lovino sighed.

"Fuck my life!" Gilbert exclaimed, not noticing the approving look his roommate was giving him.

"You're going into the tolerable category…" Romano mumbled.

"What's that's that supposed to mean?" Gilbert asked, turning towards him.

"There are two types of people in this world. Those I tolerate and those I don't," Lovino said gruffly, "I have decided you are part of the former group. I don't like sissy bastards or optimists, so you've proven yourself so far."

"Uh, thanks…I guess…" What a freaking weird kid. Still, Gilbert kind of liked him too. That is, if Lovino was saying that he liked Gilbert. He wasn't really sure…

"You better be thankful," Lovino snarled. "It's a pretty elite privilege...appreciate it."

"Of course, Lovi. I'm glad you think I'm sooo awesome, I'll treasure your sentiment forever..." Gilbert joked.

"God damn it! I told you not to—"

"Oh hon hon hon hon hon!" an obnoxious laugh floated towards them.

"Oh fuuuuuuck…." Lovino growled.

"'ello Lovino, mon cher! How are you today? Oh hon hon hon hon…" the source of the irritating cackling, a man about Gilbert's age, cooed happily. He flicked some of his blonde hair over his shoulder, laughing softly to himself. Apparently, being in a mental hospital didn't deter this guy from being flashy. Seriously…he was wearing pink sweat pants with giant lettering saying "JUICY" up the side and blue furry boots…what were those boots called again? God, they were so ugly…ugly…Uggs? Was that it? Who gived a fuck! This guy's outfit was seriously giving Gilbert a headache.

"Hello…Francis," Romano said, glaring at the blonde before saying in a strained voice, "How. Are. You. Today…?"

"Well, I am just lovely today, mon cher!" Francis laughed, "It's just been superbe! I just went on the most WONDERFUL walk today and saw the most BEAUTIFUL flowers and…" Wow, this guy sure liked to emphasize how great everything apparently was. His loud voice was seriously rubbing Gilbert the wrong way. It was like he wanted everyone in the room to hear what he was saying. He was so…

"Shut the fuck up you obnoxious attention whore!" Lovino finally snapped, putting Gilbert's thoughts to words. Francis, unfortunately, ignored him and just kept babbling on and on… Lovino sighed dramatically, "Gilbert, this is Francis," he said, making a gagging noise while he said the name. "He's in the 'intolerable' group, but he hangs around me anyway…"

"Oh! You hurt me with your horrible words! How can you describe moi as 'intolerable'?" Francis exclaimed, feigning to be deeply wounded.

"Never accept hugs from him. Ever." Lovino advised, acting as if Francis wasn't even talking. "And watch his hands while he's speaking to you…"

"What are you talking about mon cher? Are you implying that I am a pervert? How could you!"

"I'm not implying anything. I'm _saying _you're a perverted molester."

"But Lovino~"

"Okay everybody! It's time to line up!" A nurse called, interrupting the inevitable argument that was about to happen. "Try to line up in alphabetical order this time so we can administer your medications more quickly…"

"What?" Gilbert growled.

"Oh goodie, it's drug time!" Lovino griped sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

"I love my medication!" Francis called loudly, now suddenly right next to a nurse who was trying to organize some of the slower patients. "And I loooove you too…" he purred, attempting to hug her.

"Francis, you know you are supposed to keep you hands to yourself," The nurse said calmly, pushing him away.

"But, ma cherie…" Francis whined, but stopped immediately when a tall, blonde orderly with glasses appeared behind him. Head pointed down, Francis allowed himself to be led in the direction of the forming line.

Gilbert followed Lovino as they approached the line, noticing that it headed to one of the windows of the nurses' station that was situated just outside the door to the common room.

"What's your last name?" Lovino asked sharply.

"Uh, Beil…"

"Beilschmidt, Gilbert!" the nurse at the window called.

"Tch, of course you'd be at the beginning of the fucking alphabet. Go! Get up there before they get mad!" Lovino said, pushing him in the direction of the window. Slowly, Gilbert made his way past the other waiting patients, trying to avoid human contact as much as possible. Finally he reached the window and the slightly irritated nurse.

"Here you are," she said, handing him two cups. He took them automatically, staring into the cups. One had water; the other had two little capsules.

"What the hell are these for?" he snapped.

"Please try to avoid profanities, Mr. Beilschmidt," the nurse deadpanned. "Those are mild tranquillizers. Dr. Edelstein recommended that you try taking them. They will help calm you…."

"I don't WANT any help staying CALM!" Gilbert yelled. In retrospect, maybe he should have tried to stay calm. Maybe then they wouldn't think he needed these pills. Too bad he only thought of that after yelling at the nurse. Suddenly Antonio appeared by his side. Geez, was this guy stalking him or something?

"Woah, Buddy…" he said in his eerily calm voice, "Why don't we just try them for today… We'll just see how it works out okay?" Antonio made it sound that _he_ was involved in this as well, like it wasn't just Gilbert that had to take the stupid medication. Slowly, he pulled Gilbert away from the nurse's station so that the nurse could continue her activities. Gilbert, for reasons unbeknownst to even himself, followed the gentle tug on his elbow.

"What do you say, bud?" Antonio asked. Gilbert vaguely noted that Antonio only referred him to as "bud" or "buddy" when he was trying to calm him down.

"I don't want to…" Gilbert whispered. Antonio patted him on the shoulder.

"I know, but everything will turn out better if you just try it. This can be as easy or as difficult as you make it," he said. Gilbert didn't know what would happen if he continued to refuse medication. Probably nothing good. He thought about West. He would be so disappointed if he found out that Gilbert was already causing trouble...

"Fine. I'll do it…" he mumbled, knocking back the pills and chasing them with the water. They slid sickeningly down his throat.

"There we go, Buddy!" Antonio said happily, giving him a little pat on the back, "Do you think you'll be okay now?"

"Yeah I guess…" Gilbert tried to smile, but had the feeling it didn't register correctly… Antonio gave him a strange look, not seeming all together convinced that he was fine, but he left anyways, his attention shifting to a patient crying in the corner of the room.

"Congrats, Gilbert, way to take your first round of meds…" Lovino said as he stalked towards him.

"Woop-de-doo! Yay for me…" he huffed in response, sarcasm and tone matching his roommate's. He was about to complain, but suddenly, movement near the now-emptied space in front of the nurses' station caught his eye. A small, dark haired boy was being escorted by a sleepy looking orderly to the nurse's window.

They were close enough to hear the boy pitifully sob, "C-c-can't you bring them to my r-r-room!"

"No, Kiku…just wait a couple minutes. Then we can go back. We have to be patient, remember?" the orderly said softly, handing his charge two cups similar to the ones Gilbert had been given. Again with the "we" thing. What was up with these orderlies and this "all for one and one for all" shit?

"I w-w-want to go back!" the boy, Kiku, wailed.

"Shhh… just take them and then you can go back…" the orderly replied calmly, patting the boy on the shoulder in a similar way that Antonio had to Gilbert moments before.

"Woah, Heracles finally got that little hermit out of his room?" Gilbert heard Lovino comment.

"Oh hon hon hon…it seems so!" Francis said rather loudly, walking up behind the two of them.

"Francis, hands to yourself!" Heracles warned, making it clear that he was very aware of the trio. Gilbert looked down to see that Francis' hand was just inches from his ass.

"Dude! What the fuck?" he growled. Kiku, who had apparently taken his medication, took this opportunity to bolt back in the direction (well, Gilbert presumed it was the direction) of his room. Heracles didn't seem very upset by the fact that Kiku was booking it down the halls. He just turned lazily and followed the boy down the hall.

"He is such an agoraphobe…" Lovino grumbled, "Don't expect to see him again anytime soon."

"What?" Gilbert asked.

"Oh hon hon! That little cutie never leaves his room! 'e is much too frightened!" Francis chirped, his happy tone not matching his statement.

Gilbert was still trying to process the strange occurrence when a nurse walked over to them.

"Gentlemen, the cafeteria is opening. Would you like to get lunch now?" she asked kindly.

"Of course I would, beautiful!" Francis cooed, reaching towards her breasts.

"Hands to yourself, Francis," the nurse simply said as if she had said the phrase several times before. She turned and walked down the hall, towards the apparent direction of the cafeteria. The three of them followed her. Apparently, the cafeteria was on the other side of the hospital from their rooms. Gilbert walked next to Lovino as his roommate explained the important parts of the hospital.

"There's the art room," Lovino said, pointing to an unremarkable door, "and there's the complex of offices—you've already been there—and…" Lovino's half-asssed tour was interrupted by Francis jumping between the two roommates.

"Ooh! Nice necklace!" Francis squealed, eyeing the chain that was barely visible over the collar of Gilbert's shirt. "Who'd you screw to be allowed to have that?"

"I didn't screw anyone!" Gilbert growled, "Just…leave it okay…?"

"Tried my 'freak out' strategy huh?" Lovino chuckled darkly, "Told you screaming and crying would work…"

"I didn't…" Gilbert mumbled, trying not to yell again. He couldn't believe they would assume that he…

"Of course you didn't do anything on purpose. Duh," his roommate said, as if reading his mind. "I saw how upset you were earlier…you weren't faking or anything." Even though it seemed like Lovino was trying to be nice, it still came off as irritated. "Besides, no one in here does that kind of stuff on purpose…"

"Except for Elizabeta!" Francis added, "She's always freaking out for attention!"

Right on cue, a scream echoed through the halls. The nurse who had been previously guiding them to the cafeteria suddenly ran towards the source, which happened to be a woman with long, light brown hair. The woman was crying profusely, sitting on the floor while caressing her left hand.

"It hurts! It hurts!" she sobbed.

"Speak of the devil…" Lovino groaned.

"Let me see, please," the nurse said, crouching down.

"I need Dr. Edelstein to see it! Only he can fix it!" Elizaveta wailed.

"Let me see it," the nurse reiterated.

"NOOOOOO! I WANT RODERICH!" was the screamed reply.

"She's always complaining about some kind of injury or another. Most of the time she inflicts them herself…" Lovino explained, "She doesn't really do it on purpose…I think, otherwise she probably wouldn't be here…"

"It's so annoying though, how she always wants attention from EVERYBODY," Francis huffed loudly.

"…hypocrite…" Lovino muttered before asking Gilbert, "Dr. E's your shrink right?"

"Yeah, what about it?"

"Don't tell Eliza that. Ever," Lovino warned darkly.

"She's totally obsessed with him!" Francis explained, "She had to be transferred to Dr. Tino because of it!" Francis seemed like he wanted to add a "lol" to the end of his sentence.

"Ha! How could some have a crush on that stick in the mud?" Gilbert laughed, wondering who Dr. Tino was.

"Only a crazy person…" Lovino grumbled.

Gilbert laughed along with Francis at this. Lovino apparently didn't laugh at jokes.

But Gilbert wasn't sure if it really was all that funny.

He decided it wasn't.

* * *

Finally, they had reached the cafeteria. It was quite spacious, and was filled with clusters of round tables surrounded by chairs. The sun shined through the windows happily, despite the bars sautered onto the windows. Lovino turned to the right, grumbling as he marched over to the serving area. Gilbert followed him, but not before he glared at Francis, who he caught trying to cop a feel. Perverted asshole.

Gilbert grabbed a plastic tray and got in line, making sure to be behind Francis to avoid any further inappropriate touching. He made his selections quickly, not really caring what he got. It all probably tasted like shit anyway. He met Lovino and Francis after he was done. The two of them were scanning the room as if debating on where to sit.

"Oh! There is Arthur!" Francis said loudly, pointing to a short blonde man already sitting at one of the tables.

"Yeah, I was wondering why he wasn't in the common room earlier…but it seems like he's hanging out with his _other_ friends…" Lovino said, emphasizing the word _other_. Gilbert didn't see anyone else sitting with him… However, his "what the fuck" limit had been breached long ago, so he decided ignore it.

"LET'S SIT WITH HIM!" Francis cried with glee, skipping flamboyantly ahead of the other two. Lovino sighed, but followed him regardless. Why Lovino had decided to keep the company of the obnoxious blonde was beyond Gilbert's reasoning.

As he and Lovino got closer, Gilbert immediately noticed that there was something was definitely…off about Arthur. The guy was talking to himself while making strange hand gestures that looked like…was he petting some invisible entity…what the fuck?

"Be careful where you sit," Lovino grunted, dropping his tray onto the table.

"Oh Uni! Your mane is so soft and pink…I could just brush it for hours…" Arthur mumbled dreamily to 'Uni'. "Oh Mint Bunny! Aren't you just so—AGRHGH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" he suddenly screamed at Gilbert, who was about to sit down.

"Uh…sitting down?" he tried to explain, kind of irritated from being yelled at.

"You almost squashed Tinkerbelle!" Arthur snapped. "Bloody wanker!" Gilbert just stared at the angry Brit. What was this guy going on about? He kind of wanted to punch this weirdo in the face, but decided that is was more trouble than it was worth.

"…is she gone…?" Gilbert mumbled in question, trying to salvage the situation. Maybe if he just went along with it…

"Yes, of course she is gone! You scared her quite a bit! It will take me forever to get her to like you now…" Arthur griped, going on about all his "friends" and how they were "sensitive" about their tiny size. Gilbert didn't really care if Tinkerbelle liked him or not, and he sure as hell didn't give a flying fuck about Arthur's friends' feelings. He was just grateful to be able to sit down.

"I'm Arthur, by the way…" Arthur held out a hand primly, which Gilbert shook reluctantly.

Deciding to try and make a better impression, he answered, "I'm Gilbert, and I'm pretty awesome!" This did not get the reaction Gilbert wanted. Arthur just gave him an glare clearly saying that he was not amused.

"Right," he said curtly, "And this is Uni, and Mint Bunny, and Captain Hook and Mr. Leprechaun and…." His list of friends was suddenly cut off, however by a loud shout from behind the cafeteria doors.

"I told you I'm NOT HUNGRY!" the doors of the cafeteria burst open, revealing a blonde boy with glasses who was being guided into the room by a big, tan orderly with a short ponytail. Another boy followed the two of them, also with glasses and blonde hair, but his was wavier and was on the longer side. Unlike the first blonde, who seemed to be on the verge of a screaming match with the orderly, this one just hugged a raggedy old teddy bear, looking like he was about to cry.

"Don't give me any of that!" the orderly said, losing his temper a bit, "That closet you were hiding in is off limits to patients! Dr. Braginskaya will definitely hear about this!"

"I don't care! I want to go back to my room! I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE!" the first blonde screamed. The timid one huddled close to him and started to whisper in something in his ear. The loud one seemed to relax, but still looked pretty upset. Thankfully, he allowed the orderly to guide him over to the serving line without any more protest.

"Meet the Wonder Twins," Lovino stated, sounding somewhat bored.

"They're…the Wonder Twins?" Gilbert asked. Oh fuck, sharing a bathroom—and a wall—with them was going to suck.

"Yes, that is the absurd nickname that _most_ _residents_ call them," Arthur explained, "I, however, prefer to call them by their actual names…"

"NO! THAT IS WAY TOO MUCH, LADY! TAKE SOME OF IT BACK!" the loud twin screeched at a cafeteria worker, interrupting Arthur's introduction.

"That one is Alfred," Arthur said as the quiet twin wrapped his arms around his rail-thin brother, who immediately stopped his yelling. "And the one on the verge of tears is Matthew."

"Yeah, Wonder Twin #1 and Wonder Twin #2, that's all he needs to know," Lovino snapped.

"Or he could use their proper names!" Arthur countered.

Lovino responded with an over-the-top roll of his eyes, "It gets waaaay to tiresome to say 'hey Alfred and Matthew' all the fucking time. Plus, 'hey Wonder Twins' sounds waaaay cooler."

"Hmph!" Arthur grunted. Gilbert was confused.

"But what do you say when you see one and not the other?" he asked.

"What?" Lovino questioned, looking like he thought Gilbert was stupid, "It will be a cold day in hell before that happens! They're _always_ together! Besides, if you refer to one twin and not the other, or seem like you've mixed up their names, they get really pissy. The Wonder Twins is clearly the superior way to refer to them…."

"I do not care!" exclaimed Francis. "I just want them to sit with us so I can tell them all about my WONDERFUL day! HEY! HEY! SIT OVER HERE GUYS!" he called.

Neither twin looked like they wanted to sit with them. Instead, they sat at an isolated table, ignoring Francis' shouts. Gilbert watched with disturbed interest as the quiet twin, Matthew started to coax his reluctant brother into eating, poking at his mouth with a plastic fork. The loud one…Alfred, tried to resist but eventually opened his mouth, allowing himself to be fed by his brother.

Creepy…

"Why won't they sit with us!" Francis wailed, pouting dramatically. Arthur shot a glare in his direction.

"Francis, it is _obvious_ that Alfred is having a bad day today," he growled, "but you wouldn't know that, considering you only care about yourself."

"How you wound me with your words, mon cher!"

"Francis, hands to yourself!" a passing nurse chastised. Francis pulled his hand away from trying to grab Arthur's thigh. Wow, did the staff here have some sort of "Francis is about to touch someone inappropriately" sense? They were just too good.

"He's only loud like this in the cafeteria, Gilbert. Don't look so damn distressed," Lovino said harshly, nudging him in the side with his elbow. "They're pretty decent as neighbors go. Just count your blessings we don't live near _Francis_…"

"Ooh! You are all so cruel to me!"

Gilbert continued to eat his lunch, doing his best to ignore both Francis' chattering and the disturbing aura that the twins were giving off.

He could block out neither.

* * *

God damn it. Gilbert had to pee.

Those damn twins had been in the bathroom _forever_.

Right when Gilbert realized he need to take a whizz, he heard the door on the other side of the room open and close as a light flickered on a moment afterward.

Why couldn't they just hurry up?

Lovino had gone a while ago to go for a walk around the grounds with a visitor. He tried to apologize for leaving Gilbert alone, but just ended up sounding snarky as he explained that Gilbert had not yet been allowed outside privileges. Gilbert didn't really care at first, but now he kind of wished his roommate was around to help in out.

Now there was a lot of shuffling going on…what was happening in there…? If he found something nasty in there….so help him God…

Suddenly, the light shining out from the door disappeared. Finally! He would be relieved! Sweet bliss! Gilbert all but ran up to the door, and in his rush and frustration, didn't even notice the frantic knocking sounds coming from the other side. He hastily flung open the door, slammed it shut and quickly turned on the light. He was so happy to finally be able to take care—wait a second...

They were still in there.

For some reason, they had turned the light off and just stayed in there. Or, more precisely, Matthew had turned the light off. Alfred was too busy curling up with his head in his arms, resting on the closed toilet cover, shoulder shaking with sobs. Matthew, on the other hand was standing near the second set of light switches, his body blocking the door opposite from Gilbert. The door was rattling and shaking against him—someone was trying to get in.

Gilbert just stared at them, too shocked to do anything.

He didn't react when Antonio and the orderly from the cafeteria burst into the bathroom after going through the room he shared with Lovino.

He didn't react when they began to peel Alfred off the toilet seat, didn't say anything while Alfred weakly sobbed, "I didn't…I didn't do _it_ this time…I didn't…I promise!"

He didn't move when the two orderlies began to haul the skinny boy towards the door.

He just stood there as Alfred started scream, "I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! I DIDN'T DO IT! I SWEAR! LET ME GO! I DON'T WANT TO GO! I DIDN'T DO IT!"

"We know you didn't, Bud…" Antonio said softly, "But you need to come with us and have a talk with Dr. Braginskaya…" The two orderlies began to force him out the door.

"NO! NOT WITHOUT MATTIE! I DON'T WANT TO! I DIDN'T DO IT!" he screamed as they exited the room.

Gilbert just stared as Matthew sunk to the ground, crying profusely.

"Um, I have to pee…" was all he could say. _Really? That's all you have to say?_ he thought to himself. Matthew just rose slowly, keeping his eyes glued to the floor. He exited the bathroom. Gilbert caught a glimpse of him slumping back down to floor as the door closed with a click. Muffled sobs could be heard from the other room. _You are such an asshole…_ Gilbert's inner voice growled.

"Yep, that's me. Total dickhead," he mumbled to himself.

* * *

Author fun time of fun: Wow, the second chapter is done! This one didn't come as easy as the first, mostly because I had to continually look up and check if I was describing everything correctly. This chapter introduces many of the characters, but there are still more to come. If you have any suggestions of who you want to show up, just let me know. Not everything is set in stone with this.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	3. Chapter 3

Author's note: Thanks for all the great reviews! Every time I read one I am spurred to write more! As for this chapter…wow, it has angst up the ying-yang…like woah, I kind of feel mean writing this stuff… Oh, and when you come across Carlos, never fear, he is not an oc! Carlos is one of the possible names for Cuba, so I just chose that one and went with it.

OMG! Sorry for the chapter mix up!

* * *

Gilbert sat on his bed, his head resting against the wall.

He wished that his bed wasn't on this side of the room.

He wished that the walls in this place weren't so thin.

He wished that he didn't have to hear muffled sobs from the other room.

The door to the hall was open; he hadn't bothered to close it. He watched as a female doctor walked by with a nurse. She had short, light blonde hair and extremely big breasts.

Gilbert found that he didn't really care how big her breasts were. All he could focus on was the conversation he could now hear through the wall. He tried to ignore it, but the each word spoken bit at him, wrenching his heart.

"Matthew, how are you doing?" he could hear the voice of the female doctor ask.

"W-w-where's Alfie?" a small voice whimpered between sobs.

"He's gone somewhere to calm down for a bit…he will be back before bedtime."

Gilbert flinched as he heard Matthew start to cry harder, "Noooo…please…can…I…?" the poor boy sobbed.

"Matthew, can you please tell me what solitary means? We've gone over this before…"

"It-it means…" Matthew stuttered, before wailing, "Please! I want to…I can't…I need…" More sobs could be heard.

"Matthew…"

"Please! Please…Alfie…I'm scared…I…"

More choked sobs. Then a distressed yell:

"PLEASE, I NEED TO SEE HIM!"

"Okay, Matthew, I'm going to give you something to help you relax…"

"What are you…Alfie! Save me…please…I need to…Alfie…ngh…"

Silence.

The doctor and nurse passed Gilbert's door moments later.

It was beginning to get dark.

"Checks!" Antonio chirped, poking his head into the room. He looked at Gilbert for a long moment. "You okay, buddy?" he asked. Gilbert barely looked at him.

"Yeah…I'm fine…" he mumbled.

"Do you need anything to help you sleep? Sometimes the first night is a little rough…" Antonio asked.

"No, I'm good…" Antonio didn't look very convinced that he was 'good' in any sense of the term.

Fifteen minutes later a nurse came in, a cup in each hand. Apparently, Gilbert's opinion didn't really matter. Did it ever?

Lovino arrived soon after that, grumbling about how he was overjoyed that visiting hours were finally over. The orderly that escorted him left quickly afterward, looking relieved at being rid of the pissy brat, who had apparently amplified his normal bitchiness tenfold since the last time Gilbert had seen him. Gilbert mumbled a question after the whereabouts of Antonio. Lovino snapped irritably, growling something along the lines of not being Antonio's keeper. Gilbert half-heartedly asked why Lovino thought he meant that, but he was just met with an angry "BECAUSE! FUCK YOU!" and the slam of the bathroom door.

Lovino apologized quietly before going to bed, explaining that Antonio's shift was over. Gilbert nodded numbly in response.

"Give you something did they?"

Another nod.

"Figures," Lovino mumbled before adding, "…assholes…" as an afterthought.

After he was sure Lovino was asleep, Gilbert crept towards the bathroom, wobbling slightly as he felt the effects of the sleeping pills. Slowly, he brushed his teeth and did his business in the bathroom he now hated. Why hadn't he been more observant before just bursting in there? He couldn't shake the feeling that he somehow violated the twins by seeing them the way he had. If it weren't for him, they would have had more time to do…whatever they were doing… The orderlies might not have gone through the other door if he hadn't burst through first. Gilbert felt terrible for this, but what he did afterward was worse, way worse. Why didn't he say anything to that poor kid? Why was it just "Uh, I have to pee"? Right. Way to be an insensitive jerk, Gilbert. Just as you always are. This is why West left you here. This is why no one loves you. This is why they all leave, because they can't stand you…

Gilbert flopped on his bed, laying face down in the pillow. He didn't respond when a night nurse opened the door for checks, didn't even shift when she put the blankets over him and tucked him into bed. He didn't even respond to her hushed good night.

Murmured, reassuring voices echoed down the hall, accompanied by shuffling feet. Apparently they were bringing Alfred back to his room.

Gilbert clamped his eyes shut as tight as he could and allowed the pills to lull him to sleep, never even hearing the last of the night's checks.

* * *

"Checks!" called a nurse in a cheery voice, waking Gilbert up. She surveyed the room, watching Gilbert slowly rise. The lump that was Lovino in the other bed didn't move. Guess he was a heavy sleeper.

"The cafeteria will open for breakfast in fifteen minutes, Gilbert," the nurse explained before slipping out into the hallway.

Gilbert wandered over to the bathroom, listening at the door to make perfectly sure no one was inside. Great, a new day and he still felt like crap. He just couldn't shake the feeling of self-loathing that stemmed from his behavior.

No sounds were coming from inside the bathroom, and the light was off, so Gilbert cautiously entered, sighing in relief once he was sure it was unoccupied.

When he returned, Lovi still hadn't moved.

"Going to get up soon?" Gilbert asked while pulling on a new t-shirt, hoping the bright yellow thing would lift his spirits. Even the happy lettering stating "I'm awesome!" didn't make him feel any better.

"Just leave me alone!" the nest of blankets growled shakily.

"Um, you okay, dude?" Gilbert asked, watching the bundle that was his roommate shake visibly.

"Get the fuck away from me!"

"Yeah, sure whatever…" he decided just to leave Lovino alone. It's not like he wanted to add anymore crappiness to his day.

He decided to walk to the cafeteria alone, he knew the way well enough. Or so he thought. Now, he had gotten hopelessly lost without Lovino to guide him.

"Fuuuuuck…." He sighed in annoyance. Where the hell was he? Apparently at a dead end. The hallway he thought would lead him to the cafeteria had ended at a large door marked "Authorized Personnel Only". Great, just great.

"Need some help, sweetie pie?" a girlish voice asked behind him, sounding like the owner was repressing a giggle. Gilbert turned around, expecting a nurse, but instead was shocked to see Elizabeta smiling eerily at him. Her gaze was seriously creeping him out was that…longing he saw?

"Oh yeah…I can't seem to find the…" he started to speak, deciding to accept her offer to help, but she cut him off instead.

"You're one of Roderich's patients, right?" she asked, her face unreadable. How did she find out? Gilbert's eyes widened in surprise, but, heading Lovino's advice, said nothing. "Of course you are!" Elizabeta chirped happily, "Oh won't he be happy that I helped one of his patients find the cafeteria?" Phew, okay she just wanted to help, albeit for the wrong reasons…but she wasn't going to hurt him or anything. What was Lovino thinking when he told him not to—"so happy that I took care of your hurt ankle…" Wait, what the?

"Uh, my ankle's fine…" Gilbert mumbled. Elizabeta just looked at him with a terrifying glint in her eye.

"Yes, right _now_ it is…" she said, dangerously, her face dark and serious. She slowly began advancing towards him.

"Stay away from me, bitch!" Gilbert yelled.

"Just help me out with this…come on…" she pleaded, a deranged smile plastered on her face, "Not everyone can be as lucky as you…can't you share him… I want to be _special_ to him too… I won't allow you to have him…" She kept advancing closer, looking at him hungrily while she talked. Closer and closer…

"Oh HELL NO!" Gilbert yelled as he pushed her—hard. Maybe harder than he should have…

Thump!

A scream echoed through the hall.

"W-w-why did you do that! I think I have a concussion! Y-y-you psycho!" Elizabeta screeched. Gilbert said nothing, bolting away before any of the staff arrived at the scene.

He stopped running and decided to just walk quickly once he was sure he was far away from that crazy bitch. He looked for some sort of landmark he could go by but he was still hopelessly lost.

"Gilbert, what's wrong? Are you okay?" a voice said behind him. Gilbert jumped in surprise, half-expecting it to be Elizabeta again, even though the voice was definitely male.

"Uh, yeah I'm good, Antonio," Gilbert mumbled as he turned towards the orderly. Antonio, as usual didn't look a bit convinced, so Gilbert added, "I'm just lost, that's all… I can't find the cafeteria…"

Antonio laughed good naturedly, seemingly attributing Gilbert's distress as being frustrated from being lost. "What? Is Lovino slacking off?" he asked jokingly.

"Actually…" Gilbert said, remembering his roommate's state that morning, "he wouldn't get out of bed… He just told me to fuck off and leave him alone." Antonio's smile disappeared.

"I see…" he said, looking perturbed. "Well, let me show you to the cafeteria then…"

The whole journey was awkward to say the least. Antonio's serious mode made Gilbert uncomfortable. Was he missing something? Maybe Lovi just wanted to sleep in? That was what he thought…

"Thank you for telling me about Lovino," Antonio said as they reached the cafeteria (finally, Gilbert was starving!). "Well, I'll see you later then," Bidding his goodbyes, the orderly left in a hurry to God-knows-where.

After getting his breakfast—apparently today was pancake day—Gilbert made his way over to a table that Arthur and Francis were already occupying.

"Er, hey guys…" he said quietly. "Is er, Tinkerbelle or anyone around…?" He asked, eyeing the chairs suspiciously.

"The polite way to ask is 'are any of these seats taken'?" Arthur chastised primly.

"Okay. Yeah. Totally not in the mood. Are they empty are not?" Gilbert snapped. Arthur snorted in annoyance, but answered anyway.

"You may sit in that one," he said sharply, pointing to one of the seats before muttering under his breath, "…wanker…"

"SO I HAD THE BEST DREAM LAST NIGHT!" Francis shouted loudly.

"No one gives a shit!"

"Oh stuff it, you bloody frog!"

Arthur and Gilbert exchanged an approving glance.

"Why do you torment me so?" Francis sobbed dramatically.

Arthur blatantly ignored him, "So, Lovino has abandoned you today?" he asked, a look of disapproving on his face.

"Uh, yeah…he didn't even get up this morning…" Gilbert explained.

"Should've known he'd give up being nice in less than twenty four hours!" Arthur huffed. What? _That_ was Lovino trying to be nice? God knows what being on his bad side would be like… "I would never treat a roommate like that!" Arthur apparently was ranting about how to be prim and proper or something…probably thought he was some kind of gentlemen…the hideous green sweater he was wearing spoke for that theory too…

"Oh come on, mon ange! _Your_ roommate doesn't even leave the room! You couldn't even show him around here if you tried!" Francis laughed.

"Shut it, wanker!" Arthur snapped. "And he was here before me anyway…"

"I'm amazed that kid even let's you come in to sleep! Isn't he afraid of germs or something?"

"Will you shut up about Kiku! He is very pleasant once he gets over his shyness! He likes me to tell him about what goes on outside…he's a very curious and smart lad…"

"Who cares about him? I want to talk about MY dream!" Francis said, getting impatient with all the talking about people who weren't him.

A soft voice coming from near the food line interrupted them.

"Mattie doesn't want to sit over there…" The three of them looked up to see Alfred and Matthew, accompanied by the orderly from before, standing a few yards from them. Both looked pretty dazed. The orderly was holding one their trays, while a short, happy looking Asian man held the other. This guy wasn't wearing the usual white orderly suit, but had instead nurses' scrubs decorated with cute cartoons all over them. The two men slowly guided the twins to a table nearby, helping them sit while putting their trays in front of them.

"Looks like somebody got tranq'd last night!" Francis chortled in his usual happy manner.

"Francis!" Arthur snapped, before observing, "It does appear that the two of them were given a pretty high dose…and Yao seems to be assigned to Alfred again…"

"Yao?" Gilbert asked, trying to chase away the guilty feelings that came from seeing the twins.

"Yao usually works in the infirmary…but when Alfred starts acting up about…food…." Arthur paused while explaining, "Yao sits with the twins to make sure he's eating."

"Oh…okay…" Gilbert mumbled, noting that Arthur didn't seem like he wanted to reveal such information. Considering that the twins continually refused to sit with them, Gilbert wondered if they were even considered friends of the group.

"So…about MY dream…." Francis burst out, but was interrupted by the orderly walking over from the twins' table to theirs.

"Hello, Carlos," Arthur said in greeting. "How are you today?"

"I'm great!" answered Francis.

"Gilbert, Dr. Edelstein wishes to have a word with you…" Carlos said, his voice serious.

"Why?" Gilbert growled.

"I think you know why," Carlos simply stated. Gilbert groaned. Of course Elizabeta would tattle on him. She probably told them that he tried to kill her or something idiotic like that. Arthur gave him a questioning look. Francis just snickered.

"Okay, I'll go now…" Gilbert grumbled, standing up. Carlos immediately grabbed his elbow, leading him out of the room. Gilbert decided not to resist. He just numbly allowed himself to be guided away, ignoring the stares of his tablemates.

* * *

"Gilbert, tell me the truth, did you push Elizabeta?" Dr. Roddy asked seriously, staring Gilbert down from across his desk.

"Come on, doc, really?" Gilbert growled, "That crazy bitch was about to attack me!"

"I didn't ask what Elizabeta did, Gilbert. I asked what _you_ did."

"Nothing that wasn't deserved! That was what I did!" Gilbert yelled, rising from his chair. "It was in self-defense! That bitch is lying!"

"Gilbert, please sit down," Roderich sighed.

"And what if I don't?" snapped Gilbert, trying to act tough, but he couldn't help but notice Carlos' stare from across the room. He sat down with a scowl.

"No one is blaming you, or saying that you were purposely malicious towards Miss Héderváry…"

"Then why are we having this conversation!"

"Because Gilbert, the hospital has a strict, no-violence policy. Your behavior was unacceptable…"

"Oh, right you don't blame me but I'm still in trouble…"

"We are aware that you were provoked, you aren't in 'trouble' per say. You're not being punished," his doctor tried to explain.

"Sure feels like it!" Gilbert snapped.

"I just want you to understand that that kind of behavior is wrong. Please, next time, ask for help from a staff member."

"I couldn't! She was totally cornering me! You weren't there! You don't know!" Today was getting worse and worse.

"I'm going to have to ask you to apologize to her, Gilbert."

"Oh HELL NO! That crazy cunt needs to apologize to ME! Not the other way around!" Gilbert jumped up again in his anger.

"And she will. You will apologize to each other," Roderich said sternly. "I'm sure that sounds fair, doesn't it Gilbert?"

"No, not really, considering she—"

"Both of you did something wrong in this situation. Regardless of what Elizabeta did to you, pushing people is wrong. I know it is easier to blame your actions on others…"

"That blame is totally justified!"

"Regardless if it is or isn't, you need to apologize," Dr. Roddy's tone meant business. Gilbert sighed, glancing towards Carlos. He wanted to continue to yell at his doctor, but he had a feeling that nothing he could do would get him out of apologizing. That is, unless he got sent to the ominous solitary he kept hearing about.

"Fine whatever, I'll do it, but I won't mean it or anything…" he grumbled.

"Well, that's a step in the right direction," Roderich said, looking pleased with himself.

Gilbert just sighed and walked over to the door, which Carlos had opened for him. Roderich stayed at his desk, not moderating the two patients' exchange for obvious reasons. Gilbert wondered if Elizabeta's obsession ever got to him. Apparently, Elizabeta's shrink was going to help them with their apologizing.

As Gilbert walking into the office, he was immediately met with Elizabeta's hateful glare. She had a bright pink band aid on her forehead—a place that didn't even get hurt. Her psychiatrist stood next to her, smiling pleasantly. He was a short man who looked barely older than Gilbert, but it could have been due to his height and baby face. The blonde's smile widened at Gilbert when he entered the room.

"Hello, Gilbert. My name is Dr. Väinämöinen…"

"Uh, what?" The doctor merely laughed.

"But, as I was about to say, you may call me Dr. Tino or Dr. V…everyone does," Dr. Tino explained happily. "Now, shall we get this over with?"

"Yeah, the quicker the better," Gilbert sighed. Elizabeta just nodded.

"Alright then, Eliza, do you have anything to say to Gilbert?" Tino asked his patient.

"I want to tell him he's a mean asshole stupid face!" she snapped.

"What kind of insult is that, you little…."

"Now! Now!" Tino laughed again, but this one sounded a bit nervous, "Remember, you both hurt each other, so you both must…"

"I'm sorry I used you to get Roderich's attention…" Elizabeta said hurriedly.

"Yeah, and I'm sorry too," Gilbert grunted.

"For….?" Tino prompted him.

"I'msorryforpushingyou!" he exclaimed in a rush.

"Good job, guys! Now, doesn't that feel better?" Tino asked.

Neither patient had the heart to crush the smiling man's spirits with a 'no'.

* * *

"Oh hon hon hon hon! Gilbert, you are in the morning group too? How wonderful~" Francis exclaimed.

"Yeah, I'm so excited," was the grumbled response. After he and Roderich had "talked" some more about the importance of apologizing (it felt more like a debriefing after a battle than a talk) his doctor had explained to him that he had to go to group therapy. Elizabeta, who was unfortunately in the same group, had begrudgingly led him to the room where the patients met.

"The morning group is clearly the superior one! It has me in it! Oh hon hon hon hon!" Francis laughed happily.

Gilbert tried his best to ignore the constant obnoxious laughter. Grimacing, he asked the annoying blonde, "So, how many times to we have to attend er…_these_?"

"Oh hon hon hon! Lovino really did a poor job at showing you the ropes!" Francis cackled.

"Are you going to answer the question or not?" Gilbert growled.

"Ooh! Why is EVERYONE so mean to me?" Francis whined, but thankfully decided to be useful for once, explaining, "We have group therapy three times a week, mon cher! It is my favorite therapy because I get to tell everyone what I think! We get to go to group on Wednesdays, Saturdays and Sundays! Isn't that superbe?"

"No."

"Yeah, I know it's fun, isn't it? Oh hon hon hon… Much better than individual therapy…we have that on Wednesdays too….as well as Mondays and Fridays! They're not as fun as group is, but I still like one-on-one because I still get to talk about me and….." God, he was like the energizer bunny or something?

"Hold on, what do we do on Tuesdays and Thursdays…?" Gilbert cut him off.

"Oh, if you're really _messed up_ you get extra sessions with your doctor…but I don't need that! So, usually we have different classes, like art, dance or exercise. Everyone loves to watch me perform at those! I like cooking class the best, but I also like…"

"Alright kids! Start sitting down!" called the doctor in charge of group, thankfully interrupting Francis' rant. His brown hair was graying, as was the little bit of stubble on his chin but his hair's wayward curl still bobbed enthusiastically as he talked. He kind of reminded Gilbert of a happy, old version of Lovino.

"That's Doctor Vargas!" Francis whispered not-so-quietly as they sat down next to each other. Gilbert was about to question him when the Doctor's booming voice interrupted him.

"Francis! Hands to yourself!" he reprimanded. How long had Francis' hand been on his thigh?

"You douche!" Gilbert snapped, swatting at the hand.

" Come on, mon cher! I just wanted to show you my affection… We're friends aren't we?" Francis pouted.

"That's not what…argh!" Gilbert sputtered in his irritation.

"Settle down, everyone," Dr. Vargas said with a goofy smile. "Today, we have a new friend joining us for group. Mr. Beilschmidt, would you like to introduce yourself?"

Gilbert looked at him for a moment, "Uh…sure…"

"Stand up, if you would like…" the doctor suggested. "Maybe you would like to tell the group your name, something you like and something you like to do?"

Gilbert did as he was told, standing tentatively while surveying the group. It was pretty small, but he recognized a few of them. There was Francis, of course, and Elizabeta, who was glaring at him from across the circle, and…the Wonder Twins. Alfred sat directly on Dr. Vargas' right and was glowering at him angrily. Apparently he was pissed about last night… Matthew was looking at the floor, one of his hands gripping tightly on his brother's zipper-less bomber jacket. Gilbert pointedly looked away from them as he spoke, "Er…Hi! My name is Gilbert and uh….I like…what do I like…oh! I like cute, small animals, especially birds…"

Francis snickered at this, but quieted when given a stern look from Dr. Vargas (and also after seeing Gilbert's death glare).

"Continue, please…" the doctor commanded.

"Uh…where was I?" Gilbert mumbled.

"What is something you like to do?"

"Um, getting really drunk?" he blurted out.

"How about we focus on an activity that is more…healthier…" Healthier? Did he even have any healthy hobbies anymore? His other choices—finding people willing to have anonymous sex and refusing to come out of his room while West begged at the door—were no better than what he had said.

"…..sometimes I like to watch soccer with my brother…" he didn't add _after he convinces me to come upstairs by promising me food_, to the end of the sentence.

"Good, that's good. Thank you very much, Gilbert," Doctor Vargas said, motioning him to sit down. "Okay, everyone! Before we get today's topic, does have anyone have anything they would like to discuss?" Elizabeta's hand shot up. "Eliza?"

"Gilbert's mean!" Elizabeta yelled, glaring at him. Really? She was seriously bringing that up? Again?

"Oh, yeah! Well you're a…" he attempted to retaliate.

"Enough!" Dr. Vargas said loudly. "Elizabeta, I believe that issue has already been resolved, hasn't it?"

"Maybe…" Elizabeta grumbled.

"And even so, it is not something that the whole group needs to discuss, is it?"

"No…" she said glumly.

"Okay then! Anybody else?" No one raised their hand. "That's great!" Dr. Vargas called happily, clapping his hands together once. "Now, today we're going to talk about our families… Does anyone have any siblings? Maybe they would like to describe their parents to group? We could talk about why you love them…or if you have a more difficult relationship…"

"ME! PICK ME! PLEASE! PICK ME!" shouted Francis. No one else seemed to want to talk. Dr. Vargas sighed.

"Yes, Francis you may speak…" Dr. Vargas said, looking rather reluctant.

"Well, I have no siblings but that's okay, because I get more attention that way! Maman is the prettiest mother I know! She has beautiful hair, just like mine! And her eyes are blue like the sky above…on a good, sunny day of course! They're also like mine! People say we look alike and that I got my magnifique fashion sense from her! She used to be a famous French model…she's pretty and nice and she buys me all my cute clothes and…."

"What is your relationship with your mother like, Francis? Are you close with her?" Dr. Vargas cut him off to the relief of everyone in the room.

"Oh, yeah, we're suuuuuper close! I mean, well, she visits me every two weeks and always says she loves me and stuff and she buys me things and says that I'm her perfect angel and….."

"If you're so _perfect_… why did she leave you here?" Elizabeta asked, glaring at him. Apparently, Francis and Elizabeta shared an attention whore rivalry.

"Hey! Let's keep our comments civil!" Dr. Vargas said quickly, "Francis, what is your, er, emotional relationship? Rather than what she looks like or what she does for you, how do you feel about her?"

"Uh…" Francis didn't really look like he understood the question, but he began to talk rapidly anyway, "I like it when she visits! I like it when she tells me she loves me and pats my head! I like Maman a lot because she is so pretty and nice to me!" Really? Francis' reason for _liking_ (not loving?) his mother was because she was pretty? Wtf?

"Okay, thank you Francis. What about your…father? Would you like to talk about him?" Dr. Vargas seemed to be a little apprehensive about asking this. May be he was afraid of another rant about how awesome Francis' parents were.

Surprisingly Francis was quiet, "I don't want to talk anymore," he whispered.

"That's alright, Francis, thank you very much for sharing," Dr. Vargas said kindly. Elizabeta snorted angrily. "How about you, Matthew? Would you like to share anything to the group?" the doctor asked, turning towards the shivering kid. Matthew looked terrified. He buried his face in his brothers' arm, whimpering.

"Mattie has me!" Alfred exclaimed, apparently seeing it as his duty to speak for his twin. "We're brothers! We'll always be there for each other!"

"Yes, that is very nice…but I asked Matthew… Matthew, what do you have to say?" Dr. Vargas directed. Matthew stirred slightly, looking up to stare at the group, appearing to be about to speak. He quickly turned back towards his brother, however, and instead started whispering in Alfred's ear.

"He says that he's glad he has me…and…Matthew! That's not true! Don't say stuff like that…fine, okay…yeah…I guess…er, he also says that if I wasn't here he wouldn't know what to do…and…" Alfred narrated before chuckling a bit, softly as Matthew whispered a couple more words, "I'm his hero…yeah…"

Dr. Vargas looked a little irritated that Matthew still wasn't talking, but he seemed to accept this way of communication for now, "What about your parents?" he asked Matthew, and by extension Alfred.

"They got divorced when we were little…" Alfred explained, "Mom got me and dad got Mattie…but when we were six, Dad…..left…." Matthew whispered something in Alfred's ear, "but Mattie says he had to…that it wasn't his fault…you shouldn't think that, Mattie….he shouldn't have just dropped you off at Mom's like he did…that wasn't…"

"Alfred, could you please speak towards the group rather than your brother," Dr. Vargas asked gently, Alfred glared at him but complied.

"Anyway….then it was just us and Mom…"

"Matthew, what is your relationship with your mother like?" Dr. Vargas prompted. Before Matthew could even whisper, Alfred burst angrily.

"She doesn't pay any attention to him! She just pretends he doesn't even exist! Even though Mattie's smart and kind and great at tons of stuff…she…" Matthew began to whisper hurriedly into his ear, "No…Mattie…you are not unremarkable! She isn't justified in…Oh come on! Yeah….she shouldn't be that way towards you…but….she….no! Don't say that Mattie…she only says those things to help me! Come on…."

"Alfred, please address the group," Dr. Vargas warned again, "How about you tell us what _your_ relationship is with your mother?" Alfred sighed, huffing loudly.

"Oh, I don't know….but she really ignores Mattie and that makes me so mad!"

"Focus on _your_ relationship please… Does your mother ignore you too?"

"No!" Alfred snapped. "Not that I know why… Mattie's better—"

"Alfred, focus on yourself please."

"Right, alright, okay… I don't know… Mom has always paid attention to me I guess… She tries to, er, you know…make sure I'm doing alright…she helps me by, uh…offering constructive criticism?"

At the last comment Matthew sat straight up and began to whisper again in Alfred's ear, though this time it was a tad louder, yet still too soft for the others to hear.

"Don't say that Mattie! She's only trying to help me!" Alfred snapped at his brother, "She did a bad thing to you but… No! Come on…she isn't too harsh! Mom only points out the things I need to fix about myself! It's supposed to help me….Mattie, come on…that's not true! The only thing she did wrong was ignore you! I deserved all the things she said to me!" The group just watched the twins try to reason with each other for several minutes. It was really…awkward… Gilbert had the feeling that being near them always felt like one was invading a private moment.

"Okay! Let's move to someone else!" the loud voice of Dr. Vargas boomed out, interrupting the twins, er, really he just interrupted Alfred. "How about…Gilbert? Would you like to tell us about your family?

No, Gilbert would rather not, but he decided to anyway, might as well try to do better than the last too epic failures.

"Er, sure…" he started shakily. "Well, I have a brother, West…er, Ludwig…"

"West is your nickname for him?" the doctor asked.

"Um, yes…it's just some silly name I used to call him when we were little…It kind of stuck after a while…" Gilbert explained. "He's a year younger than me, but he's way more responsible. He's in school right now and works on top of that and he also does most of the housework… He tries to hide that he's stressed but when he relapses into doing rituals it gets kind of obvious…"

"Rituals? Your brother has obsessive compulsive disorder?"

"Uh, yeah…he does, but he's pretty good at managing it… Vati did a good job at getting him help as soon as he started showing signs… Still, it was kind of hard when he got really bad when we were in high school… We shared a room and he would stay up late performing them and stuff….but he's better now, you know?" Gilbert said in a rush, he didn't like explaining all of this to strangers.

"Oh, I see…" Dr. Vargas said calmly. "Do you perhaps see your brother's success as hope for yourself?" In actuality, Gilbert hadn't even thought about this.

"Uh, yes… now that I think about it…I guess so…" he mumbled.

"What about your parents, what is your relationship with them?" Didn't his stupid doctor's notes say? He probably knew the answer to that question...bastard!

"Er…they're uh… deceased…"

"Oh! I am SO sorry!" Elizabeta suddenly burst out. What the fuck? "If you EVER need a shoulder to cry on, just come and find me! No problem I will help!" What was with this chick? Then Gilbert remembered her bizarre want to care for people who are hurt…creepy…

"Er…thanks, I guess…" Gilbert said, skeptically, "Anyway, yeah, Mutti died when I was ten, while we were still living in Germany…and uh, Vati had a brain aneurism about three years ago…" Actually, the three year anniversary was coming up…how he hated February…

"Thank you for sharing, Gilbert," Dr. Vargas said sincerely, as if knowing he didn't want to share anymore. "Now, Elizabeta would you like to speak…?"

* * *

Gilbert stopped in front of the closed door of his and Lovino's room. He had just taken his afternoon meds and wanted to get a sweatshirt or something before lunch. Damn, it was cold in here!

Suddenly, he noticed something was…off. Dr. Roddy's voice could be heard beyond the barrier, as well as muffled sobs.

"Just take these, Lovino…they will help you relax…" Roderich said in a calm voice.

"I don't want to!" Lovino moaned, softly. His voice was nothing like is usual snark. "I didn't want him to see me like this…. I don't want him to think….!"

"Lovino, if you don't want visitors, please just let us know and we will—"

"I c-can't! He will be so sad… I just can't hurt him any more….than I already have…but seeing me…I can tell…he…WHY ARE YOU HERE?" Lovino suddenly shouted, as if suddenly noticing someone else was in the room.

"Lovino, you know that orderlies must be present in situations like these…"

"No! W-why…you…no! How can you…? You don't like seeing me like this either…you….why do you have to work here?"

"Lovi, please… it's nothing like that!" Antonio's voice said softly, but it held a note of distress. "I don't think bad of you because you're sick… I just want to help…"

"GET OUT!" Lovino sobbed.

"…..Antonio, can you please switch posts with Heracles?" Roderich asked calmly, "Please?"

"Of course."

Gilbert was caught by surprise when the door opened.

"Oh, Gilbert… Did you need something?" Antonio asked, looking kind of upset.

"I..uh…was going to _my_ room…" Gilbert mumbled, "…but…uh…I'm just going to go to the cafeteria now…"

"Do you need me to show you the way?" Antonio asked.

"No, uh… I got it…" he quickly turned on his heel and walked off hurriedly.

The day wasn't half way through and it was steadily going from bad to worse.

He didn't like this new, scary, sad Lovino.

He didn't like the serious Antonio.

He didn't like the constant feeling of regret he still had about the night before.

He didn't like this place.

No, he didn't dislike it.

He hated this place.

* * *

Oh, god… I'm sorry…it's so angsty… sorry I think it will get a little better next chapter…maybe? At least Matthew and Gilbert get to talk in that one (yes, more than just a quick, 'Uh, I have to pee..') Anyway, thanks so much for reading and reviewing!


	4. Chapter 4

Author's note: OMG! I am so sorry for the chapter mix up last time… I always reread and edit my work constantly, even after the initial post (I'm always finding mistakes ugh)… So, I was doing that last night, and I accidently switched the wrong third chapter Sorry for the mix up and spamming your emails… Let's just call that little fiasco a shameless plot to lure you to my other story oh hon hon hon… No, really… those two fics are totally different and have nothing to do with each other…Anyway, I'm totally sorry, that was probably really confusing! I'm totally kicking myself right now… Anyway, thanks for the reviews, especially the "wtf is wrong with this chapter?" ones.

* * *

Okay, so _maybe_ Gilbert was lying to Antonio when he said he could find the cafeteria on his own…

Yeah, he was totally lying. Maybe it was just because it was his second day, or maybe it was because the pills they gave him kind of made him sleepy but…He just couldn't navigate in this place worth shit. Thank God Arthur found him this time and not crazy Elizabeta. Sure, it was kind of annoying to listen to the guy babble on about how he used to love playing "Robot Unicorn Attack" with "Flying Mint Bunny" while insisting that this "Flying Mint Bunny" was right next to them. But Arthur was an okay guy…at least he didn't try to grope him every ten seconds.

Lunch was…awkward… Lovino still wasn't there, of course, and the Wonder Twins still decided not to sit with them. Gilbert tried to ignore Alfred's constant glares in his direction…he kind of wished the kid was still in his drugged state. Then maybe he wouldn't be staring at him so much… Francis was still being…himself, but Arthur apparently had had enough. Suddenly, the usually prim and proper gentlemen started to hum an ominous rendition of _Farandole_ while giving Francis a murderous glare. It was beyond creepy, but at least he snapped out of creeper-mode after lunch in order to show Gilbert to the office complex for his afternoon meeting with Roddy. Yeah, Arthur was a pretty okay guy…just…scary…

It was great though, just his luck, that he got to walk in there at the same time the Wonder Twins did, running into a full powered glare from Alfred. Matthew just looked…afraid of him. He pressed his face into his brother's jacket, whimpering a bit as Gilbert walked by. Great…just…great…

"Gilbert? Is something the matter?" Dr. Roddy's voice broke his train of thought.

"Huh…er, what?" What was going on…? Oh, he was in Dr. Roddy's office again…oh yeah…he was getting theraped…got it, cool… "What did you say?"

"I asked what you had for lunch today, Gilbert…"

"Um, we had stroganoff… It sucked." Roddy just looked at him peculiarly.

"When I asked you the question before, you were unresponsive…" he finally said.

"Yeah…uh, I was just thinking about my…uh, day…so far…" Gilbert mumbled.

"Anything interesting you want to talk about?"

"Aren't we supposed to talk about meaningful stuff in these things?" Gilbert asked, glaring slightly at Roderich with suspicion. "You know? The kind that will fix me?"

"We can talk about whatever you wish to talk about," Roddy simply said. "Would you like to talk about your day, or something else…?"

"Sure. Whatever. Let's talk about my day…" Gilbert growled. Roderich continued to stare him down across the desk as if analyzing him. "What?" he snapped at his doctor, irritated at being looked at in such a way.

"Is something bothering you, Gilbert?" Roddy finally asked.

"What! No, of course not…"

"It seems like there is, you are acting like there is…"

"I AM NOT!"

"Defensive, irritable, distant…" Roderich listed matter-of-factly. Gilbert sighed loudly.

"Argh! Fine Gott, yeah…there's been something bothering me…so what?" he said angrily.

"So, would you like to talk to me about it?" his doctor asked. "Maybe I can help…" Gilbert debated telling Roderich about the guilt he was feeling. The guy _was_ his shrink after all. He was here to listen to his problems right? Gilbert didn't really want to share, but…this was really eating him up inside…and Roderich really did look like he wanted to listen…

"Why am I such a douche bag asshole?" he finally snapped in question.

"Um, Gilbert… I would not describe you as…." Roderich coughed, "…._that_…."

"I would!"

"Why? That isn't a nice way to describe yourself, Gilbert…"

"It's the truth!" Gilbert snapped. "It's the reason no one likes me!"

"Gilbert, that's not true, people…"

"Don't even try to tell me you like me! It's your job to say stuff like that!"

"What about your brother?" Roderich suggested.

"He left me here!"

"Because he cared about you…"

"Or because he was sick of me!"

"Is that the reason you are feeling bad about yourself? Is it because your brother brought you here?"

"No!" Gilbert exclaimed. "I'm a terrible person because I saw someone who needed help and all I did was be an insensitive jerk and kick them out of the bathroom while they were crying and what I really should of done was give them a hug or some shit that a normal person would do but no, I didn't do anything like that I just told him I had to pee and made him leave….that's why!"

"Oh, so you're upset because you think that you treated Matthew unfairly…" Roderich summarized, apparently already knowing about last night's events. He looked calm and didn't seem convinced that Gilbert was horrible for what he did.

"Yeah! Why didn't I…" Gilbert mumbled, kind of choking up at the end.

"Gilbert, you can't do everything right all the time…"

"But any sane person would've comforted someone else…I'm just a…"

"Please, stop calling yourself derogatory terms, Gilbert…"

"But they're all deserved!"

"No, they're not," Roderich sighed. "Regardless of what you think a sane person would do in your situation, you can't base your worth as a person on one action…"

"But I was such an asshole!"

"Gilbert, please…" he warned.

"Oh alright…but it was wrong to act the way that I did and I….feel really bad about it…" Gilbert mumbled.

"What do you do when you feel bad about wronging someone?" Roddy prompted.

"Uh, drink until I can't remember why I feel bad?" Something told him that wasn't the right answer.

"How about apologizing…? We already went over that morning how important it is…."

"How can I just be like 'oh hai guyz sowwy for being a GIANT DICK TO YOU'?" Gilbert yelled.

"There's no hurt in trying…" Roddy said calmly, "How about you just say, 'Matthew, I feel really bad about last night… I think maybe I should have been kinder to you. Will you please accept my apology?"

"I don't know if that will work… I think Alfred hates me now…" Gilbert countered.

"Even if he does, the only way that will be remedied is if you try to apologize…" Roderich was persistent wasn't he? "Please try for me Gilbert..."

"Yeah, I guess I could try to apologize…but if this blows up in my face…!"

"Would you like me to mediate for you?" Roderich asked. This made Gilbert think of the forced forgiveness fun time that he had with Elizabeta and Dr. Tino. He shuddered.

"No…I don't want them to think it's…artificial…" he explained.

"I understand, but if you need help, please get me."

"Okay I will, Roddy…" he always wondered why the doctor never corrected him when he used that nickname…his face kind of twitched in irritation every time Gilbert called him that.

"Alright, Gilbert, good work…" the doctor said. "Our time is up for today, but remember: if you ever need any extra help, don't hesitate to find me…"

"Sure thing, doc!" Gilbert laughed shakily while rising from his chair. He smiled at the doctor and received a small one in return, but he still had the feeling that everyone could see through his weak attempts at looking happy.

He thought about the upcoming apology as he exited Roddy's office. He wasn't sure of the last time he apologized to someone. Sure, he said he was sorry to Elizabeta this morning, but…when was the last time he said "sorry" to someone and meant it? He couldn't even remember.

Oh crap! His musings were suddenly interrupted by the reason for his deep thinking. There in the waiting area, was Matthew himself. Alone. His brother was nowhere to be seen… The little blonde looked, as always, about to cry at any moment. He still had the white stuffed bear he always had with him, though he was hugging it tighter than usual, his face buried in its dirty fur.

Gilbert slowly walked over to him, trying not to scare him. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed that Roderich was "talking" to the secretary at the desk a few feet away from them. That asshole knew Matthew was going to be out here! And now he was spying on them! What a prick! He tried to ignore his doctor and instead focused on the shaking boy in front of him.

"Er, hey there…" he said softly, Matthew jumped in freight, staring at him with wide eyes. "Er, sorry to scare you…I was just wondering…hey, why are you out here?" he was too scared to just come out and say it, so he accidently blurted the first thing that came to his mind.

"….what….?" Matthew mumbled into his bear's fur, still looking scared shitless. His voice was so soft, Gilbert could barely hear it.

"I uh….was going to….why isn't your brother here?" Second attempt: failed.

"…uh…he's in…he's in…he's talking to Dr…he's talking to the doctor right now…" Matthew seriously looked like he was about to cry.

"Oh! You don't go in at the same time?" Gilbert burst out. This was going bad….so bad…

"….we do…but….they make us…separate too….sometimes…" Matthew mumbled shakily. "…..I….I don't like it…."

"Listen man," Gilbert said slowly, getting ready to finally succeed in apologizing, "about last night…I'm…"

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MATTIE!" someone behind him screamed. It was Alfred…of course.

"Woah, I wasn't…I swear I didn't do…" Gilbert tried to explain, backing away from the angry blonde.

"HE DOESN'T LIKE YOU!" Alfred yelled. Matthew had risen from the chair he was sitting in, obviously about to go and cling to his brother, but he was stopped by the entrance of Dr. Braginskaya. She put a hand on Matthew's shoulder, urging him to sit. She turned to Alfred, and began to speak in a slow, calm voice.

"Alfred, what have we been talking about lately?" she asked kindly.

"We've been…I don't know!" Alfred answered testily.

"What have we suggested you do when you want to tell someone how you feel?" the doctor prompted.

"….er, that I shouldn't yell at them…?"

"Yes, and…."

"I should tell them calmly that I am upset and why…." Alfred mumbled.

"Very good, Alfred, how about we try that? Does that sound like a good idea?" the doctor asked, gesturing towards Gilbert.

"I want Mattie!" Alfred whined, reaching out towards Matthew.

"No Alfred, figure out what _you_ want to say based on what _you_ are feeling…" Alfred looked like he really didn't want to. Both twins seemed really uncomfortable with the two foot distance between them.

Alfred decided to try anyway, "I….uh….I feel un-uncomfortable w-when you stand so close to…my brother…" he finally stammered out, face turning red.

"Why do you feel that way, Alfred?" his doctor asked, urging him forward.

"I uh…Mattie! I really want Mattie now…!" he cried again, Matthew made a moved to get up.

"That's okay, dude!" Gilbert cut in before Dr. Braginskaya could push Alfred further. "I get it! Totally, I'll give you your space, sorry about that…" he said, backing away from the twins. Alfred looked surprised at his action.

"Thanks…" he mumbled. Now was Gilbert's chance! He had to apologize now! He looked across the room to see Roddy eyeing him hopefully.

"Uh…and…I…uh, I just wanted to say I was…uh, sorry for last night…you know?" Gilbert got out with difficulty.

"What?" Alfred asked, looking skeptical of him.

"I shouldn't have burst in like that and uh… I feel really bad about not…uh…being very nice to you afterwards, Matthew…" At this, Matthew jumped up and clung to his brother once more. Oh crap. Did he just make matters worse? Matthew started to whisper in his brother's ear. Interesting…apparently he only talked to other people when Alfred was not around…

"Um, Mattie says that we're sorry too…" Alfred said quietly, "and we shouldn't have stayed in the bathroom for so long…well, that was my fault…not his…yeah…sorry about that…"

"It's no problem…I uh, just feel really bad about…" Gilbert didn't think they should apologize to him.

"Mattie accepts your apology… "Alfred cut him off. "He also says not to worry about it and he's happy you cared enough to apologize to him…and he liked talking to you today…"

"Er, he did….?" Gilbert asked, confused.

"Yeah, people don't usually just talk to Mattie, even though they should! He's smart and funny and awesome! Er, thanks for that…it means a lot to him…and me too…" Alfred explained. Gilbert was started to have a hard time figuring out where one twin's thoughts ended and the other's began.

"Er, no problem… We can talk again, I guess?" Gilbert said questioningly.

"Yeah, that would be cool," Alfred said while Matthew nodded. "Just don't invade his personal space, kay?" Funny statement coming from the guy whose arm Matthew was desperately clinging to.

"Sure…that sounds…good," Gilbert said awkwardly.

"Good job, boys!" Dr. Braginskaya cut in. "Matthew, are you ready for your session?" Matthew said nothing, but de-suctioned from his brother to follow his doctor down the hall anyway. Gilbert said an awkward goodbye to Alfred and left to go his room.

He didn't miss the approving glance Roderich shot him.

* * *

He was still really fucking cold, but he didn't really want to go to his room…but…argh! It was freaking freezing in this place! He had tried watching a movie with Arthur in the common room…but he just got too cold to stand it! Plus, he really didn't like My Little Pony movies all that much... So Gilbert found himself wandering around the halls until he finally reached his door, pausing in front of it uncomfortably. What if Lovino was still in a bad mood? So he knocked cautiously on the door, feeling stupid for knocking at the door of his own room but… Lovino sounded really messed up earlier, so…

"Come in…" a sleepy voice answered. Gilbert walked in slowly, not wanting to upset his roommate, who still was apparently in bed. "Oh, it's you, Gilbert…." Lovino's unnaturally soft voice murmured. It sounded…just…wrong…

"Uh yeah, hey…Lovino…how are you?" he asked nervously, trying to figure out how Lovino had even seen him despite to the darkness of the room and the blanket cocoon his was in.

"…um…I'm really tired…right now…"

"Did they give you something?" he asked tentatively, almost expecting a yell in return.

"…..yes…."

"So you're not going to dinner then…?"

"…no…I'm…not….sorry…." Gilbert did not like sleepy time Lovino one bit…

"Er uh, that's okay….uh, I was just getting a jacket…" Gilbert laughed nervously as he spoke.

"….okay…I'm going…to….sleep…now…."

"Um, yeah, see you then…" Gilbert quickly, grabbing the first sweatshirt-like-article of clothing he could feel from the wardrobe. Who cares if it didn't match the rest of his outfit? The only person who gave a rip about fashion here was Francis—and even then apparently _he_ thought, according to his outfit today, that brown, blue and lime green made a good ensemble.

Once Gilbert was out the door, he suddenly remembered that he still didn't remember how to get to the cafeteria. Every time he tried he would just get hopelessly lost.

"Er, Lovi… could you give me directions to the cafeteria really quick?" he called softly while opening the door.

No answer. Lovino was out cold.

"Shit!" Gilbert cursed.

"Mattie wonders if you need any help finding the cafeteria…" Gilbert jumped at the voice, still expecting to see Elizabeta, but turned to see Alfred and Matthew standing behind him. Apparently they had just come from their room.

"Oh, yeah…hey guys!" Gilbert said, smiling nervously. "Yeah, er… I'm having a hard time navigating this place…"

"It's kind of hard, yeah…" Alfred said, nodding, but looking a bit uncomfortable. "Uh, but Mattie says that you'll get used to it and not to worry… Just follow us, we'll help you."

"Thanks…" Gilbert said, sighing in relief as he turned to fall them down the hall. Alfred, with the help of Matthew, was way better at showing him around than Lovino was. He made sure to point out the few remarkable landmarks and kept explaining what they were doing.

"Okay, this is the first right we take, right? See, if you're going the right way, you will always see the common room ahead of you after the first right…"

"Oh, Mattie says that it's important to note that the infirmary is here, 'cuz you always have to take a left after you see it…"

"And here is the cafeteria! Always remember, it's across from the door that leads to the grounds…Mattie likes to walk around the grounds sometimes…"

Alfred's explanation of what Matthew liked was interrupted by a soft voice behind them.

"Hello, Alfred. Hello Matthew…do you have a new friend today?" the kindly guy, who Gilbert recognized as Yao asked.

"Oh yeah…" Alfred said, smiling a little, "This is Gilbert! Mattie likes him!"

"Oh? Do you like him too, Alfred?" Yao asked, smiling.

"That's what I said didn't I?" No, actually he didn't…but Yao didn't press the issue.

"Where would you like to sit today?" Yao asked the twins.

"Mattie, would you like to…? Oh yeah, me too! I totally was going to suggest that! Yeah…that's a good idea!" Gilbert decided he liked happy Alfred better than he like I-hate-you-asshole Alfred…even if his one-sided conversations with Matthew freaked him out a bit. "We want to sit with Arthur…" Alfred chirped.

"Yeah, er, me too…" Gilbert answered, but was unsure if Yao wanted his opinion.

Yao just smiled at him, "Oh, so you would like to sit with Arthur and Francis, then?"

"Ew, not Francis!" both Alfred and Gilbert exclaimed. Yao just chuckled.

"Well, let's get in line shall we?"

Gilbert followed Yao and the twins to the food line, noticing Alfred start to frown as they drew closer. Matthew squeezed his arm tighter and whispered something in his ear. Alfred didn't say anything, apparently whatever Mathew said was private and wasn't supposed to be dictated to anyone else. Oh lord, he hoped that Alfred didn't have a fit while he was standing right next to him….so loud…ugh…but Alfred continued to be silent, allowing the workers to place food on his try with no more than a hateful glare.

* * *

"Are any of these seats taken?" Gilbert asked, looking at Arthur, who just shook his head.

"They don't like coming for dinner….They like to stay in my room and keep Kiku company…."

"I'm SURE he LOVES that!" chortled Francis.

"He appreciates it greatly!" spat Arthur, before he turned towards Gilbert and the twins, "Matthew…..A-Alfred…." Arthur stuttered for a second when he said Alfred's name…was he….blushing? "How nice of you to sit with us today!" he said, before seeming to remember something. "Oh and it's nice to see you again, Yao…"

Yao laughed, "It's nice to see you too, Arthur. Especially over a nice meal instead of in the infirmary…" he said while sitting down next to Alfred, who was just staring at his tray angrily. "You know the deal, Alfred… just try one bite of everything and then we'll go from there…"

"But I don't want to…" Alfred whimpered. The whole table looked kind of uncomfortable, except for Matthew, who diligently picked up Alfred's fork and scooped some food up with it.

"Here…" Matthew whispered. Gilbert was shocked to hear his voice. Alfred just snorted, and took the fork from his brother. Slowly, he took a bite.

"There we go, Alfred! Good job!" Yao said smiling.

"Am I doing a good job?" Francis called. Arthur started to quietly hum again. That still was creepy as fuck…

* * *

Gilbert slowly sauntered away from the nurses' station, unsure of what to do. Arthur had invited everyone to watch another of his My Little Pony movies, promising that there would also be enough time for a Care Bear film afterwards, before light outs. Alfred agreed, due the fact that "Mattie likes cute bears…" and Francis didn't have time to decline, since he was sent to his room for the rest of the night due to lack of clothes…yeah that was interesting…and scary… Lovino still hadn't left their room, but Gilbert spotted Antonio heading in that direction, accompanying a nurse who had the tell-tale medicine cups in her hands. Antonio still looked a little upset from earlier…Gilbert had no idea what was going on…but he didn't really want to retire to his room at the moment. So, he decided to sit on the couch with Arthur and the twins (who sat so squashed together, Matthew was pretty much on Alfred's lap) and watch the dreadful movie. He tried to focus on the film, but the bright colors hurt his head, so he instead awkwardly studied his companions as they watched the movie.

Arthur looked like he was high on something…seriously…He had a strange, dazed look in his eyes…maybe it was the pills he took earlier?

"Oh Pinkie Pie! You can do it! Go! Reach for the stars!" his companion said happily, "Oh Twilight Sparkle! You are so awesome!" Or…maybe he just really liked My Little Ponies. "This is Uni's favorite film!"

Matthew was watching intently, clutching his bear tightly during the parts where the ponies ran into problems. Every once and a while, Alfred would attempt to whisper quietly (but never was very quiet) to his brother and ask what was happening. Matthew would whisper in his ear in response.

"Ooh…" Alfred murmured, "I get it now…wait which one is Princess Celestina again?"

"…the one with the crown…" Matthew said quietly. The only reason Gilbert could hear was because of their close proximity…thank God Alfred wasn't yelling about him sitting too close to Matthew this time…there just wasn't enough room on the couch. He would, however sometimes give Gilbert suspicious glances. Apparently, Gilbert still wasn't to be trusted.

"Ahahaha…sorry Mattie…" Alfred laughed quietly. "I know I'm terrible at noticing things…sorry…sorry…" he got steadily quieter and less jovial as he said this. Matthew looked cross with him and started whispering frantically to him, but made sure it was quiet enough so no one (aka Gilbert) could overhear him. Gilbert ignored them, instead trying to focus on the pink and purple horses dancing around on the screen. They were…singing….and Arthur was quietly singing with the movie…oh God…this was torture…

"Mr. Beilschmidt?" A nurse said quietly from behind, touching his shoulder gently.

"Er, what?" Gilbert asked, before he saw a figure standing at the door to the common room. Oh shit. Well this bound to happen…he just didn't expect it to be so soon…. He hopped up suddenly, disturbing the others sitting on the couch. "Gotta go guys! Just remembered something I had to do….sorry!" Arthur and Matthew didn't seem bothered, as they just resumed watching the movie, but Alfred gave him a warning look as he wrapped his arms around his brother protectively. "Yeah…" Gilbert mumbled. "See you later!" He then walked quickly away from them and towards the figure in the doorway…

"What do you want?" he snapped at the man as he drew closer. His opa was as serious looking as usual, his expression to impossible to read. His once blonde hair was tied in a long ponytail today, probably for ease in the work place. Once Gilbert had arrived, he simply turned and began to walk in the direction of Gilbert's room. "Uh, my roommate won't like it if we go into the room—he's kind of asleep…" Gilbert said as he followed his grandfather.

"This won't take that long…" Opa said quietly. "How…how…are you doing?" It seemed difficult for him to ask Gilbert this question. Both Beilschmidt brothers had almost no contact with their grandfather even though he lived in the next town over from their home. Opa had immigrated from Germany to America when he was still young, right after Oma had Vati…he wanted to make a better life for his family…but Vati had disappointed him by having a baby—Gilbert—out of wedlock. To make matters worse, Vati had moved the family back to Germany in order to be with Mutti's ailing parents shortly after West was born… Opa and Vati's rocky relationship had leaked down into Opa's relationship with Gilbert and Ludwig….it had always been…cold…

"I'm uh…doing okay, I guess…" Gilbert mumbled in reply.

"Good…." Opa said, as if he didn't know what else to say.

"Yeah…"

"How is…Ludwig…? How is he doing…?"

"Uh, yeah…West is doing alright…he's good…still in school, you know…"

"What is he studying again…economics…?"

"No, uh, he's in med school right now actually….he wants to be a surgeon…" Awkward…

"Oh, yes…that's right…" Opa said, as if remembering. He had never actually been told. "That's good…" Funny how this was the most they had spoken to each other in a long time… To think, all Gilbert needed to do was get locked in the nuthouse for his grandfather to talk to him!

"Yes…he er….works very hard….." Gilbert mumbled.

"I'm sure he does…I know you will…work hard too…" Opa said quietly, before clarifying, "…to get better…"

"Of course, Opa…"

"Good. I'll be seeing you then…" with that, his grandfather walked quickly away, leaving Gilbert in front of his room's door, watching his retreating form.

* * *

It was only after he had finished brushing his teeth that he noticed that Lovino was, in fact, awake. He was actually outside of his blankets, sitting up and staring intently at the wall. Gilbert just waved sheepishly at him and began to change into his pajamas (not that they were very different from what he was wearing already…).

"I'm…sorry…" Lovino sighed. Oh, geez, did Lovi get an apology lesson from Roddy too?

"For what?" Gilbert asked, confused.

"Antonio told me you kept getting lost…he meant it as a joke, but I still feel bad…" Lovino sighed.

"Hey! Don't worry about it! I got around just fine…" Gilbert tried to reassure him, understanding how Lovino felt, after all he had experienced the feeling that morning. "So, uh…you're talking to Antonio again?" Lovino coughed awkwardly.

"Uh, yeah…so you heard some of _that_ then?" he asked.

"I tried not to…I was just trying to get…"

"Don't worry about it…I just get like that sometimes…" Lovino sighed again, "It's just so frustrating sometimes…you know? I just feel a certain way…and I don't want to feel that way but I do…and then I just…ugh!" This Lovino was stranger than the others…he wasn't irritated and he wasn't sad…he was just there…it made Gilbert a little uneasy.

"I get it…I know how hard it is…." Gilbert responded, trying to help. Oh how he knew that feeling well…

"I just… I don't like it when my brother visits…" Lovino confessed.

"Why?"

"I can tell he feels bad for me….and it hurts him to see me…like…like…this…"

"You don't want him to see weakness in you?" Gilbert supplied.

"I'm older…I'm supposed to be strong for _him_… not the other way around…I can see it in his face every time he visits…this is so hard for him…" Gilbert sympathized with Lovino's situation, if West hadn't already gone through his struggles with mental health, Gilbert would probably feel the same way… It wounded his pride enough to be taken to a hospital by his younger brother… "And Antonio too... sometimes I'm okay with him working here…sometimes it just sucks…"

"Why? Are you and Antonio…"

"Together!" Lovino laughed, darkly. "No, we aren't…never were and….probably never will be… I've known Antonio since we were kids…ah ha ha…funny how he always wanted to help people…always wanted to work in a place like this…. Anyways…we are…no, we _were_ really good friends…but I broke it off…stopped talking to him…and everyone else…ignored his phone calls…wouldn't answer the door…"

Gilbert said nothing, sensing that Lovino had more to say.

"And the kicker?" Lovino laughed again. "_He_ was the one who found me! My brother got so worried he called him for help! Antonio finally found me—this was during my first…._psychotic break_—he found me…pacing around a random park…I had nothing but swim trunks and a bathrobe on…it was snowing….the things I said to him….I-I-I told him I was chasing snowflakes…and that there was a badger looking for me…he tried to help…tried to convince me to come here…but…it wasn't until I purposely crashed my car into a tree a couple days later that the state finally forced me…." Lovino stopped putting his head in his hands. "Why am I so messed up?" he whimpered pitifully.

Gilbert sat next to him on the bed, remaining silent for a moment before speaking, "I don't know but…I ask myself the same question all the time…" And then a miracle happened. Prickly little Lovino _hugged_ him…what was more miraculous, however, was that Gilbert found himself hugging back.

* * *

Author's note: aw, I had fun writing this chapter! Finally, a little bit of not-angst in the middle of angst… I love My Little Pony and Care Bears… Anyway, Farandole is the tune that Arthur's demon song is sung by…if you want to hear that just type into youtube "England's demon summoning song" and you should find it…it's pretty creepy… I hope you enjoyed all these quick updates, because I have some essays coming up, sigh…

Anyway, thanks for reading and reviewing!


	5. Chapter 5

Author's note: ugh…working on this while I'm not supposed to…oh well ;)

Oh, important note: Denmark and Norway are going to be introduced in this chapter! Woohoo! Anyway, I chose the names Mikkel and Lukas for Denmark and Norway, respectively. Both names are from listed possible names for each. I know Matthias is a popular name for Denny, but I was reading a fic once that used that name and noted that it gets really confusing when Matthew's around…at least I get confused…so yeah, no to Matthias…sorry if you liked that one better…

* * *

"How are you feeling, Gilbert?" Yao asked, placing a cool hand on Gilbert's forehead.

"Urghh…." A pitiful moan was all he could manage.

"That bad, huh?" Did he just chuckle? He did, didn't he! Gilbert turned his head away from his pillow to glare at the smiling man, but the sheer pinkness of the nurse's scrubs made him feel nauseous again. Stupid smiling Hello Kitties…they were mocking him…he knew it!

Yao patted him softly on the back. "It seems like the vomiting has subsided…so I'm pretty sure you're going to be okay…" he explained.

"Only 'pretty sure'? But not all the way sure?" Antonio laughed, coming over to the bed with a cup of water in his hands. He held it out towards Gilbert, who didn't move. "Come on, bud, drink up…"

"Uh huh huh!" he cried in response. What he really meant to was "No, because I think I'll throw up again if I drink that" but for some reason, a pitiful whine was all the came out.

"Now, Gilbert…you need to replace your body's fluids…" Yao explained. "Here, let us help you sit up…" Gilbert groaned in protest when he was forced into a sitting position. "Good, good…now here's your water…that's it…tiny sips…"

Gilbert did what he was told, cursing Arthur's name as he did. Why did he have to try those cookies? Why? Earlier that morning, the music teacher scheduled to come in cancelled unexpectedly. Or, at least that's what the hospital rumor mill was churning out…Regardless of the reason, the morning activity of learning to make guitars out of tissue boxes or whatever the hell they were supposed to do was cancelled. The staff quickly organized a substitute event, because heaven forbid that the patients have nothing to occupy themselves with! Unfortunately what they came up with was…cookie baking… Well, sort of… No one was allowed near an egg beater, let alone an oven, but apparently the staff thought everyone would like to mix the ingredients or something… Gilbert wasn't very interested so he decided to try to watch TV in the common room to pass the time instead. After watching several episodes of Sagwa: the Chinese Siamese Cat with the sleepy orderly Heracles (who seemed a little _too_ interested in that dorky show) he had gotten bored, so he wandered to the cafeteria (which he could now find on his own, thanks to the twins) to see what everyone else was up to. He hadn't expected Arthur to ask him to try the cookies he mixed the batter for. Too bad he didn't notice the frantic gestures from Lovino and Francis…

Now, here he was…stuck in bed after one of the worse bouts of food poisoning he had ever had. Damn you, Arthur…damn you…

"There we go, Gilbert. Good job!" Yao said as he finished the water. Gilbert kind of wanted to tell him that he didn't need to be babied, but Yao was just too…nice. "Do you want to sleep now?" Yao asked softly.

"…yes please…"

"Would you like to sleep in the infirmary or—" Gilbert shook his head rapidly. He did not want to move. Urk...he groaned slightly…that head shake was way too quick….

"Okay, I'll be back in a couple of hours with some more Pepto Bismol if you need it," Yao said as he exited the room. Antonio followed him, waving slightly before closing the door with a soft thunk.

Gilbert snuggled further into his blankets, cursing his (as well as Arthur's) existence. Damn, he felt like crap…and he was so tired…

* * *

Slowly, Gilbert shifted, rolling over so he was facing the other side of the room.

"Holy shit!" he exclaimed, startled by the realization that he wasn't alone in the room. Lovino was sitting on his bed, staring at Gilbert intensely…probably trying to convey concern. Next to him sat Arthur, who looked pretty upset.  
"I'm sorry Gilbert!" Arthur said shakily. "I-I-I didn't know they would make you sick…" Despite the fact that he was cursing Arthur's existence moments before, he found that he didn't have the heart to be mad while seeing the obvious distress on the other's face. Plus, he was starting to feel better anyway.

"Ah, man don't sweat it…I'm still alive, aren't I?" he said, sitting up a bit in bed. He still didn't feel that good though…but at least the nausea had decreased.

"And here, I thought I actually did well this time…" Arthur sighed. "Captain Hook is always saying that I'm a terrible cook…" What the…? Arthur's friends were mean to him…?

"Tell Captain Hook to go fuck himself…"

"Gilbert!" Arthur gasped. "That was quite profane!" Gilbert shrugged nonchalantly.

"That's what you say to someone when they're being a dick…you should try it out sometime…"

"Well…er, maybe I will," Arthur said, puffing out his chest a little. "Next time Captain Hook is being a jerk, I'll give him a what for!" He seemed a little nervous at the prospect of being un-gentlemanlike.

Lovino scowled at his companion."What's the big deal? I tell people to fuck themselves all the time!" he exclaimed.

"And you are a nasty, vulgar, little child."

"Fuck you!"

"I rest my case," Arthur said smugly, before adding in a more worried tone, "but do keep it down…the fairies get angry when they hear such dirty words!" His eyes darted around the room, as if looking for the winged creatures.

"What-the-fuck-ever, limey," Lovino growled, rolling his eyes. It was kind of nice to have Lovino's angry mode back…comforting, in a way… In an abrasive and offensive way that is…

"Anyway," Arthur huffed, "I just got a package from my mum…imagine my surprise to find that she sent me the newest My Little Pony DVD!"

"Gay," Lovino cut in.

"Ahem!" Arthur coughed loudly. "You're just mad because _you_ don't get to watch it because you have a session with Dr. Edelstein to go to!"

"Fuuuuuck…" Lovino sighed angrily. "I forgot that I have to make up for the one I missed yesterday…"

"Anyway!" Arthur cut in. "I thought maybe the power of the ponies would make you feel better, Gilbert!"

"Arthur, he looks like shit! He's not getting out of bed to go watch your dumb movie! Go find the Wonder Twins or Francis if you want company so bad!" Lovino snapped.

"It's NOT dumb!" Arthur said, angrily. "Tinkerbelle is very angry with you right now, Lovino!"

"Like I give a shit!" came the angry reply. Arthur was steadily looking more and more upset.

"I'll go!" Gilbert suddenly said loudly. "I'd…uh, love to watch your movie with you Arthur…" Anything to make those two stop bickering…they were making his headache worse.

"Excellent!" Arthur cheered.

"….pussy…."

"Thanks Lovi, I love you too!"

"Shut up asshat! Don't call me that!"

* * *

"Oh, man…I hope they find Sweetie Bell soon…" Arthur whispered, leaning towards Gilbert, eyes glued anxiously to the screen.

"I don't!" Lovino said, scowling. He apparently had nothing better to do than watch the beginning of the film before his session…or at least that was the excuse he gave them…

"Aha ha ha! Come on Luke, let's do a puzzle! Come on! It will be fun!" A loud voice boomed, undoubtedly jarring everyone's thoughts. Gilbert turned around to see two blondes he did not recognize enter the common room. The one who had spoke—the taller of the two—was looking around the room happily. His unruly hair and wide smile made him look a bit deranged…but who didn't in this place? The shorter one was busying himself by glaring at anyone who dared to look at him. Gilbert wondered how he managed to avoid having that choking hazard in his hair confiscated...

"Looks like Mikkel's out of solitary again…" Lovino commented. "I wonder how long he'll last before being dragged off this time…"

"What?" Gilbert asked. "Who are they?"

"Well, the tall one if Mikkel…he's pretty nice…er, most of the time…" Arthur explained as the two men walked over to a table in the corner of the room.

"Yeah, as long as you don't piss him off, he's cool," Lovino added. "It's just too bad that virtually every fucking thing pisses him off…He ends up in solitary a lot because of it…"

"Is that other guy usually in solitary too?" Gilbert asked. He hadn't seen either of them before…

"No, Lukas just stays in his room all the time…he only comes out when Mikkel asks him to…" Lovino said.

"Is he like Kiku, or something?"

Lovino laughed at this. "Not quite… He just has an extreme hatred for the human race. The reason you haven't seen him is that he goes to incredible lengths to avoid human contact… No idea why he tolerates Mikkel though…that guy can get pretty loud and annoying sometimes…"

"Lukas really is a nutter, though…" Arthur added. "When we do see him, he's always talking to this troll that doesn't exist…"

"Um…" Gilbert really didn't want to point out that Arthur talked to a lot of things that didn't exist but…

"And he says his fairies are better than mine!" Uh-huh…yeah okay…

"I really don't know why you aren't friends…" Lovino grumbled. "He probably would understand your stupid unicorn fetish…"

"I do NOT have a—"

"Lovi~ What have I told you about playing nice?" a cheery voice said behind them.

"Shut it, Antonio!"

Antonio just laughed. "Are you ready to see Dr. Edelstein, Lovino?" he asked.

"Yeah sure, whatever…" Lovino rose from the couch, making sure to elbow Arthur as he did. Arthur huffed angrily at the contact.

"See you later, Lovi~" Gilbert snickered.

"Stuff it, prick!" Lovino growled.

"Now, now…settle down…" Antonio laughed, but he shot a serious look towards Gilbert. "Gilbert, I don't think you should be out here just yet… It would be better if you rested in your room…"

"But…I'm feeling better!" Gilbert whined.

"You might want to go before Yao finds out you left your bed…" Antonio still was using a jovial tone, but the statement seemed…menacing.

"Oh, alright…" he sighed, getting up slowly. "Sorry, Arthur," he added.

"No problem, I'll just finish it on my own…"

"Maybe Lukas will watch it with you!" Lovino taunted.

"UNICORNS ARE NOT REAL!" Lukas, having apparently heard that last comment, yelled from across the room.

"SAYS THE NUTTER WHO TALKS TO TROLLS!" Arthur screamed back before turning back to the others. "No, Lovino, Lukas doesn't get the privilege of watching My Little Pony with me." He said calmly, readjusting the pillows on the couch as he did.

"Tch, whatever…" Lovino sighed as he followed Antonio out of the room, raising his hand as if to wave behind his back. Gilbert was about to say goodbye too, but he stopped once he saw Yao standing in the doorway, bottle of Pepto Bismol in his hand and a terrifying look on his face.

"Oh, Gott…" he whimpered.

* * *

"Come on! I said I was sorry, didn't I?" Gilbert whined.

"Drink."

"But I'm not thirsty!" Gilbert tried to push away the glass of water.

"I'm not punishing you …but you really must drink more water…" Yao said kindly, apparently out of his 'angry nurse mode'. Gilbert sighed and took the glass, drinking a couple sips.

"Happy now?" he sighed.

"Very," Yao chirped, standing up from his kneeling position. "I think you'll be in the clear for dinner…as long as you rest here until then…" The last part still was a little scary…

"Yeah, okay…" Gilbert grumbled.

"Great! I expect to see that glass drained by the time I get back!" Yao said happily, waving as he exited the room. He left the door open. Of course he did.

Gilbert sat for several minutes, glaring at the bothersome door. He really wanted it closed…but…he was already under the covers of his bed and he was lazy. He tried for a while to use the power of the force to push it closed. Needless to say, that plan failed. Too bad, he always wanted to be a Jedi…Oh well…better just get it over with…

Just as he was getting up, suddenly he heard voices from the hall and…crying? He really should get used to that sound…

"N-n-nooo!" a pitiful voice wailed. "I d-d-don't want to go back to m-m-my room!" Was that…Matthew…?

"Now, now… We only have to wait a half an hour…look! See three minutes have already passed! That means only twenty seven to go…" Another voice said softly, probably an orderly…

"I-I-I-I can't wait that long!" the first voice sobbed. "Alfie! I want Alfie!" Oh yeah, it was definitely Matthew. Against his better judgment, Gilbert slowly crept towards the door, peaking out slightly. Advancing towards him was Carlos, who was gently guiding a crying Matthew towards his room.

"Hey, uh, Matthew…" Gilbert mumbled, deciding to try to help. _Unlike last time…_ "What's…uh, the matter?" he asked shakily. The wind was knocked out of him when he was suddenly barreled into and enveloped in a crushing hug.

"Theywon'tletmewaitoutsideanymore!" Matthew blathered in a rush, sobbing into Gilbert's chest. "I'm scared! Alfie!"

"Uh…I'm sorry…?" he didn't really know what to say… Plus, this was uncomfortable in more than one way.

"Matthew, please respect Gilbert's personal space…" Carlos warned, peeling the blonde away.

"But…but…" Matthew sniffled.

"You need to ask people before you hug them…" the orderly was chastising, but it was clear he was trying to be kind.

"But…but…Alfie doesn't mind…"

"But Gilbert is not your brother…"

"…sorry…" Matthew mumbled, shakily. He had started to cry again.

"No prob, dude!" Gilbert attempted a laugh accompanied by a smile. "Just ask next time! I give awesome hugs!" At least that's what West used to tell them when they were little…

"Uh…o-okay…t-thank you…" Matthew said with a sniff.

"That's it, Matt!" Carlos said happily. "Now, are you ready to go to your room?"

"No!" Matthew wailed. "I want to go back to the office!"

"You know that we're trying for more distance this time, Matthew…"

"I'm scared! I don't want to be alone!" More tears…great…

"How about you stay in my room for a bit? I mean, I'm kind of stuck in here anyway, Yao's orders…" Gilbert burst out…wait what was he saying?

"Please?" Matthew mumbled, he had shoved his face in his bear and now was peering at Gilbert through its dirty fur.

"Um, sure yeah…it's no problem… Lovi's with Roddy right now, so he won't mind…"

"That sounds like a good idea," Carlos added. "As long as you _really_ are okay with it, Gilbert." He looked at him skeptically.

"Yeah, it would be cool to have to company…" Gilbert attempted to smile reassuringly. Carlos looked even less convinced. Epic failure…he should just give up with these fake smiles… "Really. It would be my pleasure," he added while extending his hand. "Shall we, Matthew?" His hand was taken tentatively, the smaller hand trembled in his grip. Silently, he led Matthew into his room, allowing him to sit on the bed next him.

"Checks are in ten minutes…" Carlos called as he walked back down the hall, apparently convinced that they would be okay.

The two of them sat in silence for a while. Gilbert was busy trying to figure out what to say, while Matthew looked as though he was trying to resist the urge to cry again.

"So…uh, what happened exactly?" Wow, way to go straight in for the kill, Gil… Now the kid was definitely going to start bawling.

"Um…" Matthew mumbled into his bear's fur. "I-I-I-I usually wait for A-A-Alfie…outside t-the office…" Tears started to form around the corners of his eyes as he spoke.

"And now they won't let you do that?" Gilbert supplied.

"Y-y-yeah! T-t-they w-w-want u-us to…I don't know!" he cried, burying his face in his teddy bear. How could he get this upset from being away from his brother for a half an hour? Matthew just looked so pitiful, sitting next to him, sniffling wildly as he clutched his raggedy old teddy bear.

"It's okay, Matt…I kind of miss my brother too…" Gilbert finally said, hoping that he could calm his companion. Matthew looked up at him blearily.

"Really?" he whispered.

"Yeah…really," he attempted a smile. "I can't believe I miss him yelling at me to clean up after myself…but I do…"

"He yells at you?" Matthew asked, shocked. Gilbert laughed.

"Not in a mean way or anything! Don't worry, West is a great guy!" he said.

"What's he like…?" his companion questioned, sniffles dying down.

"Oh, you know…way more driven, diligent and successful than I am…hard worker, loyal, makes really good wurst for me…" Damn, this conversation really was reminding him of how he missed Ludwig…

"D-d-do you s-s-seriously believe h-he's b-better than you?" Gilbert just stared at him for a moment. He wondered…did he really think that? Was that how he perceived his brother? How he perceived himself?

"Uh, yes…yes, I do…" he finally said.

"D-does that ever m-make you m-mad?"

"Sometimes I guess…" Gilbert shrugged. "But he's always tried to help me…always been there for me…so it's like…I'm mad at myself, not him…"

"Oh. I see…"

"Why do you ask?" he questioned. "Are you ever jealous of Alfred because your mom pays more attention to him?" Maybe that was why he was wondering.

"No!" Matthew suddenly snapped. Gilbert initially thought that he had burst out angrily in denial…but…when he looked at Matthew's face he knew that he was dead serious.

"I don't want that kind of attention…" Matthew murmured unhappily. "Alfred doesn't deserve to be treated like _that_ either…"

"What the heck does she—"

"How do you cope with being away from your brother?" Matthew said quickly, his stutter disappearing as he made an effort to steering the conversation away from where it was going. Gilbert caught this, and decided to pry anymore. God knows he would be pissed if he was being asked such personal questions about his family.

"I, uh…" should he seriously tell this kid? What if Matthew thought it was dumb? Oh right…we're talking about a guy who wanders around with a teddy bear in one hand and his brother's arm clutched in the other. Gilbert slowly pulled his iron cross out from under his shirt…hopefully no one caught breaking the rules about it…this was for a good cause! "See this?" he asked quietly.

"What is it?"

"It's my iron cross…Vati gave it to me when I was little… West has one exactly like it…" he explained, fiddling with it slightly.

"Vati…?"

"Oh, uh… it's what I call my dad…"

"I see…"

"When West left m—er, _brought_ me here…I kind of freaked out when they took it from me…"

"I remember you yelling about wanting something and needing to call your brother…" Matthew mumbled.

"You heard that?" Gilbert gasped. He hadn't thought that the twins potentially could have been in their room that day…

"Yeah, sorry…"

"Um, it's okay…the walls in here are way too thin…you, uh, hear things you don't want to sometimes…" he said, frowning. "Anyway, they obviously gave it back after I…uh, broke down and cried…" He blushed as he said this. Why did he have to add that detail?

"I'm sorry…?"

"Oh no! That wasn't the point of this!" Gilbert said quickly. "What I meant to say was: when West…er, Ludwig…left, he…um…touched his cross to mine…and…I don't know…that's just something I think about when I miss him…"

"That's a nice thing to think about, I guess…" Matthew mumbled, petting his bear's fur. "This was a present from Alfie…he gave it to me when I came to live with him and Mom… It helps me sometimes when I feel scared…but…I don't think I'm strong enough…"

"Well, you're doing alright now…" Matthew looked at him when he said this, but didn't reply.

"MATTIE!" A scream echoed down the hall. Matthew was up in an instant, all but running out the door. Gilbert followed him almost as quickly, but by the time he was out in the hall way he was met with with an eyeful of a furious Alfred. "WHAT WERE YOU DOING WITH HIM?" Alfred yelled, face turning red in anger.

"Nothing…dude, he's fine!" Gilbert countered, putting his hands up in a sign of peace.

"I DON'T BELIEVE YOU!" Alfred screeched. Matthew had attached himself to one of his arms, but Alfred ignored him, instead trying flail, jarring Matthew back and forth. "IF I FOUND OUT YOU HURT HIM I'LL…"

"I didn't…" he must stay calm until an orderly or nurse or someone comes…

"YOU'RE A FUCKING LIAR!" calm…calm…stay calm…don't yell…calm…

"I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING, YOU CRAZY ASSHOLE!" Gilbert finally retaliated, yelling just as loud as the blonde in front of him.

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?" a voice suddenly roared…but it wasn't Alfred's… What the…? Gilbert barely had time to think before a fist collided with his jaw. Something very large was suddenly on top of him, pummeling him with its fists. He raised his arms to his face, attempting to curl into a ball in order to try to protect himself from the onslaught.

"What are you DOING?" now that voice was Alfred's… Suddenly, something slammed into whoever was on top of him…but it wasn't enough to dissuade the punches.

"HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK!" was that…Lovi? "Antonioooooo!" Oh, yeah, Lovino was definitely here… The punches started to ease…as if someone was trying to hold back his attacker.

And suddenly, it stopped.

Gilbert turned his pounding head to the side, getting a clear view of a blonde orderly holding down a kicking and screaming Mikkel. The hulking man easily restrained his charge, and was apparently speaking to Mikkel quietly.

"LET ME GO!" Mikkel screamed, struggling harder. "I DON'T WANNA GO TALK TO YOUR BOYFRIEND! NO! I DON'T NEED TO CALM DOWN!" Suddenly, a nurse rushed over, needle in hand. Gilbert moved his gaze, seeing Lovino and Alfred, both doubled over, to his right. Lovino was holding his stomach in pain while Alfred was clutching his bleeding nose. His glasses were falling off his face, undoubtedly broken. Apparently the two of them had tried to pull the raging Mikkel off of Gilbert before the ordery showed up. Speaking of Mikkel, he screaming had transitioned into weak mumbling about not wanting to see his shrink…then silence… As the orderly, now accompanied by Carlos, dragged the knocked out Mikkel off, Gilbert could hear choked sobs filling the air. Matthew was sitting next to his brother, apparently in hysterics from the sounds he was making…

"Gilbert? Are you okay…?" Yao's face came to view above him. Antonio was just behind him, looking worried.

"It hurts…" he groaned weakly as hands moved to probe his face softly.

"Your nose does not appear broken…that's nothing short of a miracle…" the nurse murmured. "Take him to the infirmary…" he said, calling over his shoulder to Antonio.

"What..." Gilbert moaned. His eyelids felt so heavy… He felt strong hands lift him up…and he was placed on some sort of gurney…everything hurt…everywhere…He was drifting farther and farther away…his head lolled to the side…but just as he was about to fall into the darkness, a peculiar image caught his eye.

There, sitting by himself in the fetal position, was Lukas, with his head in his hands. He was shaking violently.

What the fuck had just happened?

* * *

"How are you feeling, Gilbert?" as soft voice asked him. Gilbert slowly lulled his aching head towards the voice. Roddy was sitting by his bedside, watching him quietly.

"Uh…terrible, Doc…terrible…" he moaned. The morning light was flooding in the windows of the infirmary. It wasn't helping his throbbing head one bit…

"Do you remember waking up last night?" Roddy asked calmly.

"Uh…no…"

"Hmmm… Yao said you were pretty out of it each time he woke you up…" his doctor murmured, nodding his head. "You have a mild concussion…but you should be fine…"

"I don't feel fine!" he cried.

"I can give you some pain killers…"

"Please...ugh…please…" Minutes later he was met with a cup of water and a cup of pills. He looked down in to the later, scowling. "These aren't just painkillers…" he growled.

"Gilbert…" Roddy said in a warning tone. "Those are the same as you have already been taking…"

"Fine, fine…whatever…" he grumbled, taking the pills begrudgingly.

"So, would you like to talk about the incident yesterday?" Roddy asked, shifting a little on the stool he was sitting on.

"What's there to talk about? I got attacked by a lunatic…that pretty much sums up the situation…" Roderich sighed, taking off his glasses and cleaning them slowly.

"Gilbert, please don't refer to Mikkel that way…" he said as he put his glasses back on his face.

"But…"

"He has a disorder…"

"Yeah, but…"

"Just like you…"

"Oh come on!"

"I'm just asking you to think about the times you hurt someone without meaning it…"

"I've never punched anyone for no reason!"

"But you have gotten in fights before…" Roddy said.

"Yeah, a of couple bar fights…big deal…" Gilbert growled. Wasn't his doctor supposed to be on _his_ side?

"I'm not legitimizing what Mikkel did…Punching someone is never acceptable… I'm just trying to use this experience as a way to learn…" Roddy explained.

"Oh, so getting pummeled was supposed to teach me something…" Gilbert tried to roll his eyes, but it hurt way too bad, so he stopped his attempt.

Roderich sighed again, this time a bit louder. "You know that's not what I meant. Just, please keep your mind open about Mikkel, and try not to hold this incident against him…"

"Fine…I'll try…" Gilbert grumbled, more just to please his doctor than actually wanting to.

"Oh, and try not to aggravate Alfred too much…" Roderich added.

"What? That's like impossible!"

"That's why I said _try_…" he said as he left the room.

Gilbert went back to sleep moments later, still worn out from the incident as well as sleepy from the pills. He woke later to see that Yao had returned to the infirmary. The Chinese man had checked the bruises on his face as well as those on his arms and torso. Finally, he declared that Gilbert would be okay and allowed him to return to his room… Numbly, he allowed himself to be escorted back to the room by Antonio. He was already asleep by the time his head hit the pillow.

* * *

"Gilbert, you have a visitor…are you okay with me letting him in?" a nurse asked quietly. Gilbert just stared at her, still groggy from sleeping.

"Can't it wait?" he snapped.

"Um… He really wants to see you…" the nurse explained, looking uncomfortable. "Dr. Edelstein informed him about the incident and…"

"Gilbert, what happened! What did you do!" Ludwig cried, running into the room.

"Sir, your brother has not yet…" the nurse protested.

"It's okay…he can stay…no problem…" Gilbert mumbled, still tired.

"I'll give you your space then," the nurse said as she walked across the room. She left the door open…why did everyone do that?"

"Bruder!" Ludwig explained, kneeling next to the bed. "Your face! What…how did…" Oh man, Luddie looked really upset.

"West, I'm fine…don't freak out…I'm alive…don't—" he replied, trying to reassure his brother.

"_This_ is not fine!" Ludwig snapped, gesturing to Gilbert's face. "I thought you would have lasted more than four days without getting in a fight!" Now Ludwig's worry was turning into anger.

"West! Calm down! I didn't do—"

"How can you keep doing this to me Gilbert?" Ludwig said, obviously trying not to yell. "I just got a phone call this morning telling me that you got a concussion…"

"Roderich probably told you—"

"That you were fine? No, you are NOT fine!" his brother snapped. "Have you looked at yourself?"

"No, not yet but—"

"You have bruises all over your arms, a black eye…your nose is so messed up looking I'm surprised that it's not broken and…" Ludwig suddenly snatched several tissues from the box on the bedside table. "You're lip has started bleeding!" He practically shoved the tissues into Gilbert's face, mopping up the trickle of blood.

"West, stop…" this was reminding Gilbert of the times Ludwig would forcibly wipe his mouth for him at the dinner table when they were younger.

"Don't get any on the sheets!" came the tense reply.

"West…please don't be mad…I didn't even do anything…" Gilbert said, trying to explain.

"Mm-hmm… just like all the times I have to pick you up after the bartender calls me…"

"It wasn't like that!" Gilbert yelled. "The guy just up and punched me out of nowhere! I swear!"

"Gilbert…" Ludwig sighed. "Just…stop…I'm tired of hearing it…"

"But…" Gilbert's second attempt at giving an excuse was interrupted by a quiet cough. Both brothers turned to see a short blonde standing in the doorway. He was shifting from side to side awkwardly, absently playing with his cross-shaped hairclip.

"Er…Lukas… Heeey….I'm kind of busy right now so…" Gilbert said, disturbed by the way the blonde was looking at him. It was like his eyes could see into one's soul.

"I'll only be a minute…" Lukas said stiffly, walking into the room without asking permission.

"Gil, who is this…?" Ludwig asked.

"Um, yeah, this is…"

"Lukas," the creepy guy cut him off, still staring at him strangely. "Let's get this over with. On behalf of Mikkel, I am deeply sorry for what happened." He didn't really sound sorry…it sound more like he didn't give a shit.

"Uh…th—" Gilbert wasn't sure what to say, but his 'thank you' was quickly cut off.

"He'll apologize once he gets out," Lukas explained. "But, I have to ask…please don't be mad at him." Huh? Why did both Roderich and Lukas ask the same thing of him? "He always feels ashamed after an episode…he hates that stuff just sets him off like that… Please don't hold it against him…it's not his fault…"

"Bruder…what is this about…?" Ludwig asked. Lukas turned his creepy gaze towards the younger Beilschmidt.

"My friend has intermittent explosive disorder…" he said, his voice eerily vacant of emotion. "That is he…hey!" he suddenly snapped, slapping his hand at something behind him. "It's quiet time right now!" Lukas growled at an invisible entity. "I know you know what that means… I can't concentrate on talking to other people with you babbling in my ear! You're worse than Mikkel sometimes…"

Ludwig gave his brother a questioning look, which Gilbert just returned with a small shake of his head accompanied by a shrug. He was already used to this, thanks to Arthur…

"Er, Lukas? Thanks for apologizing for Mikkel…you really didn't have to but…" Gilbert said, trying to talk over the other's chastising rant. Lukas snapped his gaze back towards him, staring at him intensely.

"Yes, I kind of do…" he said. "I've been doing it for years now anyway…plus, he sometimes forgets…just like he forgot to tell me my brother was visiting a couple days ago…" What the? Years? Had Mikkel and Lukas been in here for that long?

"Urgh…and he NEVER remembered to get milk when I put it on the freaking grocery list…and he always would 'forget' to take out the trash but I still think he was just using that as an excuse…"

Oh, so they knew each other before…

"Ja, Lukas…thanks again for apologizing…I'll uh see you later?" Gilbert mumbled, feeling uncomfortable watching the guy practically speak to himself. Lukas seemed to have just remembered Gilbert and Ludwig were in room.

"Don't count on it…" he grunted and promptly left.

"Bruder…" Gilbert mumbled. "I'm really sorry I got hurt…I should have been more careful…"

"You really didn't do anything, did you Gil?" Ludwig said quietly.

"Well, I did call Alfred a crazy asshole moments before…and I guess Mikkel took it as me talking to him…"

"I'm so sorry I didn't believe you…"

"You were just upset, Luddie, it's okay…" Gilbert whispered. Suddenly, he was pulled into one of West's awkward hugs.

"Mach dir keine sorgen mir so viel, Bruder..." his brother said, voice muffled as he leaned on Gilbert's shoulder.

"West… Es tut mir leid... Es tut mir leid..." he responded quietly. "Please don't worry about me, Bruder…" Ludwig just laughed softly at this…or was he crying…Gilbert didn't know…

"I can't help it, Gil…I can't help it…"

* * *

Author fun time: Okay! I'm sorry this took so long; I've been working on it periodically throughout the week…so here it is! I'm not sure how many chapters I'll be able to do after this… I've got an essay due on Sunday and lots of other stupid crap…I mean…ha ha…scholarly engagements next week… I want to write the new chapter so bad though… There's a scene I had to bump to the next one that I want to write in this chapter… ugghg…. Anyway, thanks for all your lovely reviews, everyone thank you so much!

Translations:

Mach dir keine sorgen mir so viel, Bruder = Don't worry me so much, brother

Es tut mir leid = I'm sorry

Thanks again for reading and reviewing!


	6. Chapter 6

Author's note: Not much to say (surprisingly). See below for more notes… Enjoy!

* * *

"So, West…have you made any moves on Feli yet…?" Gilbert asked mischievously. His brother had decided to actually stay and visit (as opposed to just freak out about Gilbert's safety), seeing that he wouldn't be able to come over to the hospital for a while. Apparently, between school and work, he wouldn't have a break anytime soon. That explanation led to Ludwig telling him about how school was going. He was managing work and classes well, and was scoring high on his exams. Just as expected…but Gilbert would rather talk about more…interesting topics.

"G-Gilbert! You don't have to know about that…!" Ludwig stuttered, his face turning red.

"Ha! I so totally knew it!" Gilbert laughed. "Of course you would as soon as there wasn't anyone to walk in on you guys!"

"Gil—"

"My sacrifice of coming here is well worth you getting laid…" he joked. Of course this wasn't true…but the brothers chose to overlook this fact in light of the happy mood.

"How do you know what I have and haven't been doing?" Ludwig was still embarrassed, but he didn't seem angry.

"Oh how couldn't I! I may live in the basement but I _can_ hear stuff that goes on upstairs you know!" He laughed again, loving how his little brother seemed so awkward around this topic…

"How do you know we didn't just do our business when you weren't home, Bruder?" Ludwig snapped, still red in the face. Leave it to West to call it "business". His brother really was a…wait. What?

"Really West?" he cackled. His brother said nothing, turning redder by the minute. "You're serious! Way to go West! Way to be man!" he said happily, patting his brother on the shoulder.

"Yes…er…well…" Ludwig mumbled nervously.

"I'm proud, Luddie…I really am!"

"Of course you are, Bruder…"

"Really! Way to be awesome!" Gilbert continued to laugh, mostly at his brother's embarrassed face. Wow…it seems like it had been too long since the last time he felt like this…happy…It had been a long time since the last time he talked to West about meaningless stuff like this too… When was the last time they had just _talked_? When had their conversations become constrained to "It's dinner time…I wish you would eat…" or "Please come out of your room…" or "I swear to drunk I'm not God, West!" or the ever popular, "Just leave me the fuck alone!"…?

"I like this…" Gilbert said quietly.

"What? Torturing me over the private details of my love life?" Ludwig asked sarcastically, raising an eyebrow.

"No…just…this…talking to you…" Gilbert explained.

"Bruder…" Ludwig whispered. Oh dear…this conversation is going steadily towards namby-pamby land…

"So! How is Feli by the way? You two are doing well I guess, considering the new information I just learned…" Gilbert exclaimed, probably a little too loudly to seem genuine.

"Uh, yeah… Feliciano is doing well… His restaurant is getting pretty popular now…" Ludwig said quietly, apparently still apprehensive about revealing details of his relationship. "He uh…asked after you…you know…wanted to make sure you were doing okay…" Although Feliciano had been seeing his brother for nearly a year and half now, Gilbert didn't know the guy all that well. He didn't even know his last name, for goodness sakes! Ludwig had met Feliciano purely by chance when he had bumped into the then culinary school student in a grocery store and it was love at first sight…Just kidding that's complete bullshit…In reality it had taken West nearly two years to ask the cute Italian boy out…even though he _totally_ was head-over-heels for him… When the two finally started dating it took West another couple of months to even introduce his boyfriend to Gilbert and even then, he rarely brought Feliciano over to their home…and he completely stopped bringing him over after _that one time_…

"Hey…um…he…uh…knows that I didn't mean it…that one night…" Gilbert mumbled, frowning at the memory. He probably traumatized the poor kid with all the yelling, not to mention all the plates he broke… Dinner from hell…all thanks to Gilbert…

"Feliciano understands…" Ludwig said quietly. _But now is totally scared of you_ Gilbert mentally finished for him.

"Good…" he mumbled, smiling shakily. Ludwig gave him a long, calculating look.

"Bruder…"

"Tell him I'm doing okay."

"What?"

"Tell him I'm doing alright… He asked after me, right? Well, tell him I'm doing pretty good…leave out the concussion part…" Gilbert explained, before adding, "…also don't tell him anything else Roderich may have told you about…stuff…"

"What stuff?" Ludwig gasped. "Have you gotten in _more_ trouble? Already?"

"Of course not!" Gilbert laughed. "But there was this one incident with this girl, Elizabeta…"

* * *

West had left about a half an hour ago and Gilbert was bored out of his mind. All he could do now was hang onto the promise that Yao had given him when he had brought lunch. Freedom by dinnertime. Sweet, sweet freedom… He was getting pretty freaking tired of being stuck in this room…

"Ahem…" Suddenly, Gilbert's self-pitying thoughts were interrupted by none other than the hospital's resident gentlemen. Arthur was standing stiffly in the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest—or, at least he was trying to hold them in that fashion…the maneuver was slightly hampered by the fact that Alfred was clutching one of his hands. Alfred was frowning, an expression highlighted by the slight bruising on his nose. He was wearing a different pair of glasses that didn't quite look right on his face…it was as if the frames were too large and the glass was too thick… The poor kid looked intensely uncomfortable and nervous to boot. It didn't take Gilbert long to figure out why Alfred was with Arthur and not his twin. Of course they would force him to wait away from the offices as well…

"Do you need something?" Gilbert sighed…oh boy…please don't ask me to…

"Care to do some babysitting?" Arthur asked awkwardly. Damn it…

"Uh…"

"I'm not a baby, Arthur!" Alfred burst out, shaking slightly. He kept tapping his foot rapidly while his free hand constantly moved to mess with his hair or rest on his lips.

"Polite _adults_ use their inside voices, Alfred…" Arthur chastised. "Now Queen Mab taught me that acting like leprechauns is for outside time…and…"

"Who's Queen Mab again…?" Alfred asked, still speaking unnecessarily loud.

"Ugh…She's the queen of the fairies of course…the one that wears a crown?" Arthur explained, rolling his eyes while gesturing towards his head with the arm not in a death grip. Alfred didn't answer, probably due to the fact that he had never seen a fairy, let alone one with a crown. Arthur let out an annoyed huff, "…never mind. Now listen I have to go and…"

"Please don't leave me too! Please don't leave, Arthur!" Alfred cried, trying to wrap his arms around the other. Arthur just gently pushed him away, sighing.

"You just stay here with Gilbert…you can have fun with him until Matthew returns from his appointment… Now, I really need to go to my appointment with Dr. V…"

"Wait…I don't remember agreeing to…" Gilbert started, but the words caught in his throat when Arthur gave him withering glance. Plus, Alfred had turned to him, looking like he might start to cry. Gilbert sighed inwardly. Why did he always have to be the one to babysit...? "Do you want to hang with me for a while, Al?" he asked finally, dreading the consequences of his decision.

"Go ahead, lad…" Arthur said, softly while he attempted to pry his hand free. "You don't want Berwald to come looking for me do you…? I don't think he's in a particularly pleasant mood after having to subdue Mikkel yesterday…" Gilbert wouldn't want the hulking orderly to come looking for him either. That guy was a beast.

"How many more minutes?" Alfred whined suddenly.

"I don't know, Alfred…but I really need to go…" Arthur had almost achieved freedom. "Just stay with Gilbert until your brother comes back okay?"

"But…" Alfred's complaint was cut off by a no-nonsense look from Arthur. "Okay…" he said suddenly, hanging his head and moving towards Gilbert's bed. Arthur hurried off as soon as his hand was free, muttering to the "white rabbit" that he "knew very well that they were late and that obnoxious mantra was not helping anything…" as he walked away.

Gilbert was kicking himself for his decision to allow Alfred to stay with him. After Arthur had left, all the kid did was nervously jiggle his knee up and down while staring at Gilbert's face intently.

"Um…what…" he began to ask, trying to instigate some sort of conversation but was abruptly cut off.

"I'm SO sorry!" Alfred wailed, reaching out towards Gilbert's face. Oh God, were they about to have another fluffy moment? He was getting pretty tired of apologizing and talking about feelings all the time. Well, on the plus side, Gilbert soon learned that Alfred was not one to convey or discuss his emotions easily…instead…

"I should have protected you!" the blonde said loudly, his fingers lightly brushing a bruise. "I'm the hero! I'm supposed to protect people from things like this!" Ugh, his volume was way too high… Why was it that _both_ twins became more verbal when separated? It was like Alfred suddenly didn't have an opinion on anything other than what his brother thought when they were together…and now this…? Well, _this_ was mildly frightening… "Don't worry! I'll protect you next time! I promise! I'll take care of you! Promise! Promise!" Now he was starting to sound hysterical…

"Um…thank you…Alfred…" he decided not to mention the fact that the skinny kid probably couldn't protect him from much…

"Please forgive me for failing you!" Alfred cried. Wow…it was like they never were fighting…Gilbert wasn't entirely sure which situation was worse…

"Uh, yeah…you didn't fail me…it's cool…don't worry about it…" Anything to quiet this kid down…

"I won't fail again! I promise!" Suddenly, the lanky blonde pounced on him, hugging him tightly. He was way to light to be normal, but the embrace was bone-crushing…

"Erk… Alfred!" Gilbert groaned. "Let go!" Thankfully, his request was granted, but Alfred looked confused.

"Aren't we friends…?" he asked pitifully.

"Er…that depends…" Gilbert mumbled, wondering about Alfred's sudden change in demeanor…why was he acting like he liked him all of the sudden? "Do you like me? As a friend? Or are you just going to yell at me the next time I talk to Matthew?" he asked suspiciously.

"You're nice to Mattie…" Alfred mumbled, looking down. "People…people usually aren't nice to Mattie…" He was looking more and more uncomfortable as he started to fidget nervously. "And…and…yesterday I realized that you are someone I needed to protect! As a hero I've made it made my duty to take care of you!" he exclaimed, volume rising again.

"Well…I guess that counts…or something…" Gilbert yielded. Did he really want to be "taken care of" by this obnoxious kid?

"I'll be your hero!" Alfred cried happily, hugging him again.

"Oh Gott…Alfred please warn me before squeezing my life out…please…" Gilbert groaned. Between Francis and these touchy feely twins his personal bubble had been popped so many times over…

"Sorry! Sorry!" Alfred whimpered, jumping off the bed.

"No man, it's okay…"

"No! Dr. B is always saying that I need to 'respect others' personally space'…and so is Carlos…and Arthur…and Mom…" he was steadily getting louder and more high-pitched as he spoke. "Sorry! Sorry! I didn't mean to! I shouldn't have…"

"Dude! It's okay!" Gilbert said, getting kind of freaked out. It was as if Alfred didn't know how to handle himself with Matthew whispering in his ear…

"I mean… I guess I forgot how to act towards friends…how do you act towards friends?" Alfred rambled on as if he didn't even hear Gilbert. "Mattie! I miss Mattie!" he suddenly burst out. "Mattie knows how to be good…how to do stuff right…"

"Alfred!" Gilbert snapped. "Take a chill pill!" Alfred stopped his rant to look at him innocently.

"But…it's not time for meds…"

"It's a figure of speech…" Gilbert sighed. Alfred was making his headache return…

"Oh…yeah…I knew that…" Alfred mumbled bashfully as his face turned a bit pink.

"Why don't you sit back down…?" He patted the bed for emphasis. Alfred hesitantly obliged, but sat at the absolute edge of the bed, still fidgeting.

"I'm sorry!" he said again.

"Dude, it's no problem…" Gilbert sighed. "Don't apologize...don't you have any friends outside of this place?" Not that Gilbert himself did…

"Y-yes…well…I _did_…" Alfred stuttered. "B-but…they were always like 'just leave him in your dorm, Alfred…he obviously doesn't want to party with us…' and 'why do you hang out with your brother all the time' and…" he began to speak more and more rapidly, jumping off the bed again to pace around the room. "How many more minutes?" he suddenly snapped, looking extremely agitated. He spoke as if he had no filter…every thought…every emotion would just come bursting out…

"How am I supposed to know!" Gilbert growled. "What's your problem?"

"Mattie's better at explaining these kinds of things…" Alfred mumbled.

"Fine. Whatever…" Gilbert responded. "If you didn't want to talk about it, you should have just said so!"

"…usually Mattie helps me with that…" Honestly, Gilbert was not sure how much longer he could stand Alfred without Matthew around to reign in his brother… Maybe he should just ignore him and try to take a nap or something… "So! What are your friends like, Gilly?" Alfred asked excitedly, his face suddenly inches from Gilbert's. There goes that plan…

"Gilly?" Gilbert growled, pushing Alfred's face away lightly. So…irritating…

"Yeah, Gilly!" Alfred chirped. "What are friends like?"

"Having friends is like entertaining a false, ignorant hope that someone actually cares about you and only to have it dashed cruelly against the rocks of reality when you find out they're all just douche bags who want to use you for their own purposes…" Um…did he really just say that? Sure, that summed up what he felt but…Alfred looked like he had just seen a puppy die right before his eyes. "I mean…you were a university student right? That sounds, uh, interesting…why don't you tell me about that or something…?" he added shakily, trying to change the subject. Alfred looked at him blankly.

"How did you…?" he asked, looking confused.

"You mentioned something about a dorm…" Gilbert explained, kind of embarrassed.

"Oh!" Yeah! Duh…" Alfred laughed nervously. "Most people just assume I'm too stupid have gotten into anywhere…" He continued to laugh, but the sound held no tone of happiness.

"Uh…" Alfred just laughed louder, seemingly filled with nervous jitters.

"Ha ha! I mean, yes! Mattie and I went to school near here…We decided to go out of state! You know: adventure!" he said in a cheery voice that seemed a little…hollow. Gilbert wondered if this is what other people saw when he himself tried to appear like nothing was wrong…

"Er…what was your major?" A normal question for a normal conversation about college…let's just keep this normal, shall we?

"Oh um…I don't really know…er…" Alfred mumbled.

"Huh? Still doing the stupid general requirement bullshit?" After all, the twins did look young enough to be in their sophomore or even freshman year…

"Oh no…we were juniors when we left…" Alfred laughed awkwardly again. "I think it was a double major… yeah…in…uh, engineering…and creative writing?"

"What?"

"Uh…well, Mattie wanted to take writing classes while I liked engineering…"

"Why didn't you just take what you wanted separately?" Why was he even asking?

"Why would I do that?" Alfred asked, confused. Gilbert's eye twitched in annoyance. He had guessed the answer but still…really?

"Oh gee I don't know…maybe…" Gilbert began to retort reflexively, but was cut off by Alfred suddenly jumping off the bed once more. Footsteps could be heard from down the hall, accompanied by sniffling.

"MATTIE!" he screamed, rushing out the door.

Gilbert just sat, mildly shell-shocked, wondering what had just happened. Apparently, Matthew had returned from his session.

"MATTIE! I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!" He could practically hear the two of them embracing like they had lost each other for decades. Those two…were so strange…

"Alfred! I was so scared without you!" he could hear Matthew wail.

"Alright…that's enough…Settle down…" Carlos's voice could be heard.

Finally, the chattering quieted…sighing contently, Gilbert turned to face the wall. Naptime at last…

* * *

"Argh! Jesus Christ, Lovi, do you always watch me while I sleep?" Gilbert yelled, once again startled to find his roommate in the room when he woke up.

"Well I _was_ going to wake you up…but you looked up all peaceful and shit…" Lovino growled from across the room. "Exuuuuse me for trying to be nice…"

"Nice of you to check up on me...where have you been all day?"

"I had stuff to do, okay!" Lovino snapped.

"Thanks for making time for me then, Lovi~" Gilbert purred, trying to rile his grumpy roommate up.

"Hey dickwad! What did I tell you about calling me that terrible nickname? Huh?" he spat a reply, crossing the room dangerously. Lovino was so easy to irritate…

"Oh sorry, Lovi…I just can't seem to remember…was it…that it was your favorite nickname ever?" Gilbert laughed.

"Fuck you…you…fucking…uh…fucker…" Lovino seemed like he was having trouble finding words to express his frustration… "Dinner's soon and…I…uh…brought…er…_these_…" It was then that Gilbert finally noticed the stack of papers in his hands. Lovino dropped them unceremoniously on his lap. "Here…" he mumbled.

"Um…thanks?" Gilbert said, confused. He picked them up tentatively. "What are these…?"

"Some stupid nurse thought that it would be nice for those who were involved in that _incident_ yesterday to make 'get well soon' cards for you…" Lovino explained. "Some sort of way of coping or some bullshit like that…"

Gilbert looked at the first sheet, confused. Noticing this, Lovino added, "Oh yeah…the Wonder Twins roped Arthur into to doing it too…convinced him with something about gentlemen or whatever…and Francis just wanted to be praised by the nurse for being 'thoughtful' I guess, so he made one as well..."

That explained the first picture, which appeared to be an illustration of Francis'… The stick figure drawn in the center of the page had incredibly stylized flowing blonde hair and was wearing some sort of day-glow get up. He had also drawn sparkles and stars all around the stick figure's body. Plus, the picture was filled with random phrases written in French… A small "Get well Sometime" was wedged in the bottom of the picture, written in obscenely small lettering.

"Yeah…" Gilbert mumbled, moving the page to the back of the pile to reveal what appeared to be Arthur's card. It had a simple "Get Well Soon, Gilbert" written in elegant handwriting across the top followed by a "Sincerely, Arthur and Company". Simple, yes, but better than Francis'…

The next page was from Alfred and Matthew, judging from the "Love, Alfred and Matthew!" written in pink crayon on the bottom of the page. Of course they wouldn't make separate cards… Gilbert had a hard time deciphering which twin wrote what. Either only one of them actually wrote the card or they had nearly identical scripts… Some parts looked slightly messier than others though… The drawings were easier to identify, however. Half of the card was filled with small animals, all complete with speech bubbles saying "Get well soon!" A note had been written near the bottom of the page stating "You said you liked cute animals, but I didn't know what kind…hope these are good…" _That must be Matthew's_ Gilbert thought as he gazed admiringly at an especially cute baby chick. Alfred's supposed contribution to the card was several surprisingly decent depictions of himself with Matthew and Gilbert. Most of them had speech bubbles with cartoon-Alfred stating "I'm the hero!" and "Get well soon, Gilly!" One drawing surprised him though. It showed cartoon-Alfred and cartoon-Gilbert (with purple colored on his face to represent bruises) alone without Matthew. Underneath it was written "I was sad when Matthew was gone, but I had fun with Gilbert" in neater handwriting. It looked more like the writing in Matthew's note than in the cartoons' speech bubbles. Had Matthew written the caption for his brother…? Maybe Gilbert just couldn't tell the difference…

"Cute…" he chuckled.

"More like dumb…" Lovino growled. Gilbert just started laughing as he looked at the next drawing.

"Lovi, is this yours?" he said between giggles.

"So what if it is?" he replied angrily.

"It's awesome!" Gilbert chuckled, holding the picture up. Under the scribbled heading "Get Well Soon, Fucker" a stick-figure depiction of yesterday's incident had been drawn. Stick-Gilbert was lying in a puddle of blood with a speech bubble proclaiming "Oh Gee, I wish I wasn't a dumbass!" Also, a note was accompanied by an arrow stated that he was an "albino retard". Two other figures were nearby with an arrow pointing them out as "the Wonder Twins". One—probably supposed to be Matthew—was crying blue blob-like tears. Next to him was the note: "pussy". Stick-Alfred apparently was supposed to have a bloody nose, but it kind of looked like his whole face was colored red. He was captioned with the phrase "weakling douche". The last figure in the drawing appeared to be Lovino, considering that it was standing with its arms crossed, saying "Why am I the only smart one?" Underneath the drawing he had written "'cuz I don't want another freaking roommate, asshole…"

"You're lying!" Lovino growled.

"No!" Gilbert said sincerely. "I love it…I want a put it up on the wall or something…" Lovino seemed to believe him, but shot him an icy glare regardless.

"You better like it…I had to redraw it because the nurse took away the original because it was 'too offensive'." Oh lord…what could have been in the original? Gilbert really wanted to see that…

"Done being sentimental yet? I want to go to dinner…"

"Thank you, Lovi! I loved it!" Gilbert simply replied, acting like he was about to hug his roommate.

"Oh hell no!" was the screeched reaction.

"Come on Lovi…you know you want to…"

"NO! And stop calling me that, asshole!"

* * *

"Oh hon hon hon hon! So glad to see you again, Gilbert… I was just about to tell everyone about my WONDERFUL day!" Francis chortled as Gilbert and Lovino sat down at the usual table. Apparently everything was always wonderful in Francis-land.

"Guess what Frog? No one cares!" Arthur said, glaring, before adding, "Alfred! Stop playing with your food!" Apparently, Arthur had a bit of Mother Hen in him. "Dinner etiquette is extremely important…just ask Tinkerbelle…it took her quite a while to teach Peter Pan which fork is for salad and which is for dessert…" A mildly creepy, extremely delusional Mother Hen…

"I don't like it! It tastes gross!" Alfred whined before turning to his whispering brother, "Yeah…I _know_ that I used to like them…come on…I still do…these are…Mattie! I don't want nasty hospital hamburgers!" he snapped, pushing his tray away.

"Alfred…you know they're just going to send Yao back over here if you keep this up…" Arthur chided.

"I don't care!" Alfred cried. Gilbert noticed that several nurses had begun to slowly circle closer to the the table, eyeing Alfred warily.

"Please, Alfie…" Matthew was still whispering, but it was just barely loud enough to be audible. Alfred said nothing, but he begrudgingly picked up the burger and took a small bite. Gilbert still wasn't entirely sure what was up with the situation, but he understood by the awkward silence that had enveloped the table that it was not a matter that should be discussed.

Thankfully, they had Francis to break the tension.

"SO! My Maman is visiting soon! She's going to bring me…"

"Can you go five minutes without talking?" Arthur asked angrily.

"Oh! Mon ange, you are just jealous because your 'Mum' doesn't like to visit you!" Francis quipped, pouting slightly about the change in topic.

"She lives in England!"

"Sure, sure…that is what you say…"

"...What's that Mattie…? Mom's coming…who told you that…?" Alfred interrupted loudly despite apparently having a private conversation with his brother. "Oh…yeah…she's probably bringing me new glasses…I totally can't see with these, you know…but…she doesn't visit very often so…yeah…Mattie…don't say that!"

"She's going to bring _me_ my Dolce and Gabanna sunglasses isn't that GREAT?"

"Shut up, Frog!"

"Maybe it will be better this time, Mattie! Come on! I'll make her notice you!"

"I'll look so much better than _you_ when I stroll around the grounds _and_ it will be proof that my Maman loves me more than yours!"

"…bloody wanker…"

"I'm your hero! Don't worry!"

Ugh…this was so far from pleasant dinner conversation it was sad…and now Arthur was humming his creepy cultish song again as Francis blabbed on and on about how great he looked yesterday or whatever…and the twins appeared to be fighting with each other…maybe…it was hard to tell when only one part of the conversation was audible… Everything was loud and Gilbert was finding himself seriously considering banging his already battered head against the table for sweet release…

"Will you all shut the fuck up!" Lovino screeched, slamming his fists on the table.

"How rude!" Francis whined. Arthur just started to mumble what sounded like gibberish under his breath. "Nurse!" Francis screamed. "Arthur's trying to curse me again!"

"Hands to yourself, Francis…" a nearby nurse warned. Francis sighed and scooted away from Arthur, who the nurse then turned to. "Arthur, what have we told you about attempting to curse others?"

"It wasn't an Unforgivable or anything…" Arthur grumbled.

"Doesn't matter, Sweetie…" the nurse chided, looking like she was trying not to smile.

"Hmph!" Arthur crossed his arms over his chest. "I'll have you know that I am very cross right now…"

"Next time let Francis know that next time instead of using dark magic, okay?"

"Fine…"

"That's a good boy…" the nurse said as she walked calmly away.

"AM I A GOOD BOY?" Francis yelled.

"Hands to yourself, Francis…" Antonio chided. When had he appeared behind them? Francis slowly moved his hand away from an unsuspecting Matthew. Alfred looked ready to kill the loud(er) blonde.

"What do you want, Antonio?" Lovino growled.

"Today's Friday guys!" Antonio cheered.

"…who cares…?" Lovino grouched.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Gilbert asked. Usually Friday night was his drinking night. And Saturday…and Sunday…and Monday…uh…never mind…

"It's movie night! Mattie loves movie night!" Alfred explained, looking way too excited.

"Exactly!" Antonio added happily. "What movie would you like to watch tonight? They're asking for suggestions…

"My Little Pony!" Arthur exclaimed in an instant.

"That might be good, Arthur…" Antonio said.

"Oh fuck no!" Lovino snapped. "Let's watch Saw VII or VIII or…whatever the newest one is…"

"How about you, Gilbert?" Antonio asked, blatantly ignoring Lovino's request.

"Uh…can I second Lovino's?"

"No," Antonio said, laughing. "Strict PG rating or lower policy I'm afraid."

"…damn it…" Lovino grumbled under his breath.

"Anything else?"

"Ooh ooh! Me! Me! Pick me!" Francis called, waving his hand.

"Do you have a movie you want to see, Francis?"

"A princess movie! With a prince! A beautiful princess and a handsome prince! Yes! Oh! And it needs to be a blonde princess! Not that dumb one that reads books…she's borderline homely…" Francis ranted on.

"I like books!" Arthur snapped.

"That explains why you're homely!"

"Stop being mean to Arthur!" Alfred suddenly snapped. "And stop looking at my brother like that! You're making him uncomfortable!" he added.

"I'm so sorry, Mon cher…how about me, you and your brother go hang out in your room for a bit?" Francis purred, wiggling his eyebrows. What the hell?

"Why would I want to do that…?" Alfred asked as Matthew whispered something in his ear. "What! Ew, gross! Stay away from my brother, perv!" he yelled after being told that Francis had just propositioned them.

"Now, now…" Antonio laughed. "Let's all be nice to each other…" When the fighting ceased and it seemed like no one was going to throw any punches, Antonio smiled and left after saying his goodbyes. He added a "Hands to yourself, Francis," even after his back was turned. Francis pouted as he brought his hands out from under the table.

* * *

"Hands to yourself, Francis…" a passing by nurse chided. Gilbert turned to glare at the blonde. How did he get his hand so close Gilbert's crotch without him noticing? Sneaky perverted bastard.

"It's big fluffy blanket time!" Alfred yelled, running over to the couch that Gilbert and Francis had claimed. He and Matthew were carrying what appeared to be a large fleece blanket with Superman images all over it. "Big fluffy blanket! Big fluffy blanket!" he chanted as he plopped onto the couch.

"It's time to use your inside voice, Alfred…" Heracles, who was trying to coax Kiku out from underneath a table, said softly. He had once again managed to convince Kiku to leave his room, only for the Japanese boy to run and duck under the closest available hiding place.

"Okay!" Alfred yelled, not understanding the concept at all. "Here, Gilly! I'll get you all tucked in!" he said, leaning over Gilbert's lap to throw the blanket over him and fold the edges under his legs. Gilbert didn't really appreciate the touching but kept in any snide comments in order to avoid upsetting Alfred. Finally the kid had stopped yelling at him. Too bad he had adapted a doting attitude of adoration in lieu of anger…

"All finished! Now you'll be warm, 'kay?" the now-cheery blonde said as his brother wedged himself between Alfred and Gilbert (though he was mostly on Alfred's lap).

"Alfie used to tuck me in like this when we were kids…" his voice came out as barely a whisper as he clutched his twin's hand tightly. Alfred just smiled as he pulled the blanket over them as well.

"Erm, is the seat next to you taken, Alfred?" Arthur said a bit nervously as he walked over to them. He was clutching a sparkly pink unicorn stuffed animal as he stood, staring at the spot adjacent to the twins. Unlike Matthew's bear, Arthur's unicorn looked like it might still be in mint condition: pristinely clean. Or maybe Arthur just took good care of it…

"My lap's free!" Francis chortled.

"I'd rather be gang-raped by leprechauns." Well, that was some disturbing imagery.

"Sit by me, Artie!" Alfred laughed. "Please?"

"Well, if you insist…" Arthur said, sitting down primly. Alfred immediately began to tuck him into their blanket nest.

"Big fluffy blanket!" he cheered.

"Of course…" Arthur said, looking a bit bothered at the contact.

"I WANT UNDER THE BLANKET!" Francis yelled.

"Please use your inside voice/hands to yourself," said a chorus of several staff members. Gilbert elbowed Francis in the side, realizing that he was again the victim of inappropriate touching.

"Tch, you know you're not allowed under blankets with other people anymore after _that incident_…" Lovino growled as he approached the group.

"What incident?" Gilbert asked.

"Oh, nothing…" Arthur laughed. "It's only the reason Francis doesn't have a roommate…and never will…" Hmmm… that information sounded…disturbing.

"Scooch…" Lovino grunted, practically sitting on top of Arthur.

"There's not enough room you git!" Arthur screeched.

"There so totally is asshole!" Lovino retorted. Begrudgingly, Arthur scooted closer to Alfred. Matthew made room for him on Alfred's lap…by sitting halfway on Gilbert's.

As the movie started, Gilbert realized he didn't really mind all that much…

* * *

Author fun time: Ah! Finally finished! Urgh…this week sucked for me… I wish I could just churn out chapters all day, but sadly, school is deciding to be a major bitch right now Anyway, this chapter was strangely a bit difficult for me to get through. Perhaps it was the stress…or maybe because this is pretty much all fluffy fun fluff…I think there will be more angst next chapter, as it seems I write that faster than fluff…lol! There may be another chapter on the way for this weekend, but I need to update my other active fic as well before I go crazy from all the ideas in my head!

Important note: You may have noticed I answer reviews. Yes, I try to respond to all of my reviews individually (unless I accidently forget to), so there is one thing I must ask. If you review anonymously with a question or request, please give me some way to contact you so I can answer! I will not use story space to respond to reviews, so if you want a response, give me the means to do so! Thanks!

Oops…sorry for the long note! Thanks for reading and reviewing! You guys are the best!


	7. Chapter 7

Author's note: sorry for the delay, I had a tad bit of trouble starting this chapter for some reason. I'm feeling a little stressed I guess, but I love writing! This fic means so much to me, so it's a relief to be writing it again.

* * *

"West…" Gilbert murmured while rolling over lazily, wrapping the blankets tighter around himself. "Those pancakes better be ready…" It was Saturday, so Ludwig should be cooking their special weekend breakfast by now, and…_Wait a second!_ Gilbert thought, sitting up quickly in bed. He wasn't in _his _bed, and he sure as hell wasn't in his room. Or his house. West wasn't cooking him breakfast. Of course he wasn't. "Of course…of course…" Gilbert muttered, angry at himself for forgetting his situation in his sleep-muddled state. He would have no more special weekend breakfasts. No more of West's pancakes. No more special wurst. Why?

Because Ludwig had dumped him off in _this place_.

"Hello? Earth to Gilbert! Anyone home?" Lovino's voice snapped Gilbert out of his semi-reflective thoughts.

"Wha—?" he mumbled, still kind of in a confused just-woke-up state.

"Didn't think so," Lovino grunted, answering his own question. "You coming to breakfast or not? Sure, they let us sleep in on the weekends, but you're looking for trouble if you stay in bed all day."

"Yeah, yeah…sure…" Gilbert grumbled, throwing off the bed covers and quickly swinging his legs towards the side of the bed. Lovino jumped back, startled at his roommate's sudden movements. "You don't have to wait for me if you're hungry." Gilbert's sentiments were met with a scowl.

"You sure you won't get lost like a dumbass?" Lovino asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Ye—"

"Or get assaulted again?" he added quickly, looking way too serious.

"No promises on that one…" Gilbert said quietly with a small laugh. Lovino gave him a questioning look.

"Um…are you okay?" he asked, the compassion of the statement undermined by the suspicious glare that accompanied it. "You're being creepily un-annoying this morning."

"I'm just kind of tired, no big deal," Gilbert answered, fudging the truth slightly. He didn't like people to press the issue when he wasn't feeling right.

"Whatever. See you at breakfast…if you hurry," Lovino grunted, dropping the conversation. Did he honestly not care or did he understand that Gilbert didn't want to talk about it? Lovino gave no clues to the answer.

"Yeah, see you…Lovi…" he mumbled in response as he wandered into the bathroom.

This time, Lovino didn't yell at him for using the hated nickname.

* * *

Gilbert exited the bathroom, shaking his wet locks quickly. It looked like it was going to be one of _those_ days. He didn't really feel like going to breakfast…or do anything for that matter. He just wanted to go back to bed and sleep away the creeping feeling of _wrong_ that was clutching his heart. Either that or get a stiff drink—but that was impossible here. Shit, he wanted to go home.

_Knock knock!_ Gilbert turned his head as the door opened immediately after the knocks to reveal Antonio's smiling face. Figures that he wouldn't wait for Gilbert to answer…

"Good morning!" he chirped.

"What do you want?" Gilbert mumbled, turning towards the wardrobe to retrieve a sweatshirt.

"How are you today, Gilbert?" Antonio asked cheerily, but his question easily translated to _"Are you feeling okay? I think something might be wrong with you…"_

Gilbert didn't bother to look in the direction of the orderly as he answered, "I'm fine."

"Are you sure…?" Antonio pressed further, walking closer to him. Oh shit. Did Lovino say something to him? That bastard… "Breakfast time is almost over, and you haven't come to cafeteria yet…"

Or, maybe Antonio was questioning as part of the usual monitoring of patients, but whatever the reason, his presence was annoying Gilbert.

"Yes, I am _sure_," Gilbert snapped, before adding more quietly, "I just slept in okay…" Why couldn't anyone just leave him alone? Couldn't they figure out he didn't want to talk about it? West was always bothering him like this: banging on his door when he didn't feel like leaving his room, insisting that he eat when he didn't want to…

"If you say so…" Antonio sighed. Gilbert just shot him a glare. "But you really do have to eat breakfast, skipping meals is prohibited." Duh. As if Gilbert hadn't already figured that out from witnessing Alfred's many mealtime escapades. "Do you want to come with me?"

"Okay, sure," Gilbert mumbled with a slow nod. He shuffled over where Antonio was standing and began to head over to the cafeteria, trying to ignore how close the orderly was to him. Obviously, whatever Gilbert said about his mood didn't matter: apparently, he was on 'freak-out alert' regardless.

"You have group today, doesn't that sound like fun?" Antonio asked in a poorly-hidden attempt to start a conversation.

"No."

"Oh come on! I hear Dr. Vargas is a fun guy…he's the head doctor here you know…"

"So you're just saying that because he's your boss?" Antonio laughed at this.

"Of course not!" he said, chuckling. "But…you wouldn't catch me saying anything bad about him either…he can get pretty scary when he's serious, so don't give him too much trouble okay?"

"Okay," Gilbert mumbled.

"Are you feeling alright, buddy?" Oh crap. Antonio was using "buddy" again. That meant that he was getting pretty suspicious…

"I'm _fine_," Gilbert growled. "Will you stop asking me?" That probably wasn't the best way to get Antonio to leave him alone, really, but thankfully the orderly let it be…for now.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to upset you," Antonio said genuinely, but still seemed to be on the alert for more signs of distress. "You have a make-up session with Dr. Edelstein this afternoon. Don't forget!" He added, smiling again. Like Gilbert _could_ forget. Chances were that Antonio himself would come looking for him when the appointment time drew near.

"Hmmm…yeah thanks, Antonio," he said quietly.

"No problem, buddy," Antonio answer cheerfully as they arrived at the nearly-empty cafeteria. "Have a good breakfast okay?"

"Yeah, okay…" Gilbert mumbled as he went to eat his morning meal—alone.

* * *

"…and that's why I'm _really_ good at nursing people who are sick! Someday, I think I'd be a good nurse," Elizabeta explained happily. _Yeah, you would if you weren't fucking bat-shit insane…_ Gilbert thought darkly. Apparently today's group was centered on making everyone feel good about themselves or some dumb bullshit like that. Explaining what they were good at…such a stupid discussion topic.

"Thank you for sharing, Elizabeta, I'm sure you'd be a great nurse," Dr. Vargas said. _That's right lie to the poor girl_… Gilbert's scowl deepened. "Who would like to speak next?"

"Pick me! Pick me!" Francis yelled from beside him. "I'm good at so many things! Pick me!" he was almost shrieking and was waving his hand rapidly in the air.

"How about you, Alfred? Would you like to share with the group?" Doctor Vargas asked, totally ignoring Francis' bids for attention.

"Mattie's really good at hockey!" Alfred chirped in response. He had chosen to sit on the other side of Gilbert today. Well, Alfred _and_ Matthew had decided to sit next to Gilbert, that is, until Dr. Vargas told Matthew that Group was 'not the appropriate place to sit on your brother's lap'. "He's also good at writing and making pancakes and helping others and reading the atmosphere and…"

"Alfred, I asked what _you _are good at," Dr. Vargas corrected calmly. "I'm sure Matthew can tell us what he does well when it's his turn. Right now, let's hear about you…"

"But…"

"Just try it, Alfred…"

"Uh…I'm good at playing video games I guess…" Alfred mumbled, shifting uncomfortably. There was a rustle of shifting clothes beside him as Matthew leaned over to whisper. "Oh and…Mattie says that…I take good care of him and stuff…I could be better at that though…" he added quietly. "Really, I'm not so good…no Mattie, really! I'm not good at that either… No…stop saying that…I'm not good at any of those things…No…hey…no stop…" Matthew appeared to be prompting his brother with more things that he thought Alfred was good at. Alfred, on the other hand, was starting to look kind of distressed: his fidgeting had increased ten-fold and his face was turning bright red.

"Alfred, what have we talked about concerning speaking to the group and not you brother?" Dr. Vargas warned. Alfred seemed to completely ignore him.

"Stop…Mattie…please stop…stop…STOP IT!" he yelled suddenly, surprising everyone in the room. "…don't lie to me…" he finally whispered, curling into a ball in his seat. Matthew began to frantically shake his brother's arm, mumbling a quiet mantra of "I wasn't lying, I swear!" and "don't be mad, please!" over and over.

"How about you, Gilbert?" Dr. Vargas asked, obviously attempting to leave the twins be for a while.

"Huh?" he had not really been paying that much attention.

"Is there something that you are good at that you would like to share with the group?" Dr. Vargas prompted, not looking irritated in the least by Gilbert's disinterest.

"I HAVE SOMETHING TO SHARE!" Francis yelled, almost standing up in his excitement.

"Wait your turn, please, Francis," Dr. Vargas said calmly. Francis sat down in his chair with a "humph!" He crossed his arms over his chest and proceeded to glare comically at the doctor.

"Continue, Gilbert…" Dr. Vargas said encouragingly.

Gilbert thought for a moment. Basically everything he could think of would probably be shut down due to the "unhealthy" nature of the activity… "I don't really know…" he finally said, shrugging.

"I'm sure there is _something_ you are good at," the doctor prompted again.

"No," Gilbert answered firmly. "Nothing that I can think of." He really wasn't in the mood for group today…let alone having it made painfully obvious of his lack of good qualities.

"Someone's in a bad mood!" Francis commented loudly.

"Francis!" Dr. Vargas warned. "Someone else is speaking right now; do you know what that means?"

"It means it's time for lips to be zipped!" Francis answered, making a zipping gesture across his mouth, obviously having had this conversation many times before. "Did I get it right?"

"Yes, but remember: when others are speaking, you must listen quietly, okay?"

"Oui!" Francis yelled. Gilbert doubted that the hyper blonde even understood what the doctor had just told him.

"So, Gilbert… Did you have a job before coming here?"

Gilbert sighed. Really? They were going to talk about this? "No, I got fired for the _millionth _time a couple weeks before West dragged me here," he answered, scowling.

"There's nothing wrong with being laid off…" Dr. Vargas said sympathetically.

"Fired. I got fired," Gilbert reiterated. "For indecent activity or some bullshit like that…"

"Well, I would suggest talking about your feelings regarding that with Dr. Edelstein, Gilbert… but let's…"

"What if I don't want to talk about with Roddy…or anyone for that matter?" Gilbert snapped.

"Then you don't have to," Dr. Vargas said calmly. "Now, we're talking about things we're good at. What about school…?"

"Dropped out in my second year of technical school, not important!" he said quickly, glaring at the doctor. Gilbert did not like this conversation at all. _Stupid_ _doctor talking about all the stupid things I've failed at…_ he thought angrily.

"Gilbert, please try to cooperate here…no one's trying to attack you…" Dr. Vargas reminded him, trying to be gentle. "Now, last time you said you liked animals. Do you own a pet?"

"Yes," Gilbert grunted.

"What kind of pet? What's its name?"

"Gilbird is a canary…" he mumbled in response.

"So, do you take good care of Gilbird?" Dr. Vargas asked encouragingly.

"Yes... Well, I feed him and give him water and clean his cage and protect him from cats!" Gilbert exclaimed. He always took excellent care of his sweet little bird! Gilbird meant the world to him.

"It seems like you are an excellent pet owner, Gilbert." Dr. Vargas said with a smile. "See? There's one thing that you are good at and…Matthew!" he suddenly barked, turning his head to Gilbert's right. "I already told you, this is an inappropriate time to be sitting on your brother's lap!" Matthew, who had apparently climbed on top of his brother during Gilbert and Dr. Vargas' discussion, turned slightly to give him a defiant look and hugged Alfred closer to his chest.

"Matthew…you need to sit in your own seat…"

"Dr. Vargas, can I PLEASE speak now?" Francis yelled loudly.

"In a moment Francis. Now, Matthew…"

"But I want to NOW!"

"Settle down Francis…" Dr. Vargas scolded, before turning, "Matthew, please try not to whisper…you need to communicate what you are feeling…"

"HE SAYS HE DOESN'T WANT TO MOVE!" Alfred suddenly yelled.

_Apparently the twins are BFF's again…whoopee!_ Gilbert thought bitterly as the room descended into chaos.

"Alfred, there is no need to yell…Francis hands to yourself!"

"Dude what the fuck!" Gilbert yelled, slapping the offending hand away.

"Why are you so mean mon cher?"

"I don't know. Why are you such a creeper?" Gilbert shot back.

"I WANT TO TALK NOW!" Francis yelled at Dr. Vargas, who was still trying to separate the twins.

"Francis…please…" Dr. Vargas said softly.

"Non! I have better things to talk about than _stupid_ birds with _stupid _names!"

"What did you just say?" Gilbert snapped. "Did you just _insult_ Gilbird?" So what if he was overprotective? Gilbird was his baby! Francis was just asking for the same treatment as Elderburry's stupid cat.

"Ow! I think I have a severe paper cut!" Elizabeta shrieked from out of nowhere.

"Doctor! Gilbert is scaring me!"

"You better be scared! You just crossed a line!"

"I SAID: HE DOESN'T WANT TO!"

"I'm BLEEDING!"

"Okay that's enough," Dr. Vargas called quietly. No one listened, of course. "I SAID that's ENOUGH!" he said, his voice booming louder. The room was suddenly so quiet one could hear the drop of of pin. "Excuse me," Dr. Vargas apologized calmly. "Please don't get so loud that I am forced to talk over you. Group is dismissed for today. Hopefully it will go over better tomorrow."

"B-b-but…I didn't get to talk…" Francis whined.

* * *

Gilbert walked quickly out of the room, heading straight for his nice, warm bed.

Today was becoming a terrible day. All he wanted to do was go to sleep. He hated it here, in this place. He wished he was back at home with Ludwig and Gilbird. Group had only reminded him of how much he missed his little bird. Poor, sweet Gilbird was probably so frightened without Gilbert to take care of him. Ludwig better be doing a good job in his stead!

"…needs to be let out at least twice a day…does West know what bird seed he likes…? …that freaking cat better stay the hell away from our yard…" he muttered as he walked, unaware that he was talking to himself. Walking on autopilot, he finally made it to his room.

"How was group?" Lovino asked as way of a greeting. He was lying on his bed, reading a book while looking bored out of his mind.

"Shitty," Gilbert answered tersely.

"Oh, so the usual then," his roommate muttered in response. "Feeling any better than you were this morning?"

"No!" Gilbert snapped, falling face down on the bed.

"Didn't think so. You coming to lunch with me?"

"When?" Gilbert asked, voice muffled by the pillow surrounding his face.

"Well, the nurse said when she came in for checks that the cafeteria is open now…so in couple of minutes," Lovino explained. "I'm almost done skimming this stupid thing."

"I'll go…" The response was more to his pillow than his roommate.

"What?" Lovino growled.

"I'll go! Jeez!" Gilbert exclaimed, shooting him a glare.

"There wouldn't be a problem if you had just spoken up in the first place, asshole."

"Just read you're stupid book, _Lovi_!" Said book suddenly collide with his stomach. "Ow!"

"Don't use that name, Crabby McStickupmyass!"

"Fine! You didn't have to throw this at me," Gilbert grumbled, picking up the offending piece of literature. "Is it any good?" he asked.

"No, it's a piece of shit. I'm only reading it out of boredom." The sad thing was, Lovino looked like he was totally serious. "Can we go now?"

"Five more minutes?"

"No!"

"Fine…" Gilbert grumbled, rolling out of bed with the grace of beached whale.

"Hurry up, slow poke," Lovino called over his shoulder as he walked out the room. After one last looking of longing towards his soft, warm bed, Gilbert begrudgingly followed.

* * *

"What did you have for lunch today, Gilbert?" Dr. Roddy asked, peering at him over the top of his glasses.

"Pizza..." Gilbert mumbled in response, slumping further in his chair, just waiting until he would be released. After the stressful meal that was filled with way too much screaming, creepy singing and inappropriate touching to be considered within the range any normal human's patience, all Gilbert wanted to do was take a nap. _But noooo…I had to go talk to Dr. Roddy…_ Gilbert thought, glaring at said doctor. Who cared about the rules on meal attendance? He was going to sleep for the rest of the night after this ordeal was over.

"What kind? How was it?" Roddy asked.

"I don't know. Why are you even asking?" he answered with a scowl.

"I think small talk is a good way to start our sessions."

"Well I don't!" Roddy didn't even bat an eye at Gilbert's rudeness. Instead, he calmly laced his fingers together and rested his chin on his hands, leaning forward slightly.

"How are you today, Gilbert?" he asked quietly.

"Fine! I'm _just _fine."

"You don't sound fine…"

"Well I AM!" Gilbert finally snapped, slamming his hands on the desk between them.

"Hmmm…so it is true what I have been told. You _are_ in a bad mood," Roddy mused as if in deep thought.

"Shut up! Who cares what kind of 'mood' I'm in?" Gilbert answered angrily.

"I wouldn't be asking you about it if I didn't care, Gilbert," Dr. Roddy said calmly. "Dr. Vargas says you were having trouble during group. Do you want to talk about that?"

"No."

"Are you sure? He told me that you were pretty upset with the fact that you thought you weren't good at anything."

"And I told _him_ that I didn't want to talk to anyone about it!" Gilbert yelled. "Specifically _you_!"

"Okay, we don't have to talk about anything you don't want to…" Roderich said, leaning back a bit in his chair. "But is that why you are not feeling well today?"

"No…" Gilbert sighed, trying to calm himself. He knew someone—probably Antonio—was waiting outside the door, just in case Gilbert's behavior developed into something that needed to be _dealt with_.

"So, is there something specific that is bothering you?" his doctor prompted, looking annoyingly hopeful.

"I just woke up like this, okay? It happens sometimes…" his mumble decreased in volume as he spoke.

"Did anything happen when you woke up this morning?"

"No…well, maybe…there _was_…" Gilbert started to respond, but thought better of it. "Never mind…"

"What was it, Gilbert? You can tell me; remember our last talk? Didn't you feel better after that?"

As much as he didn't want to admit it, Roderich was right. If it weren't for Roderich's help during the last session, Gilbert probably would have never been able to patch things up with the twins.

"Yeah…I might have," he replied quietly. His doctor gave him a look that read 'go on...' Gilbert cleared his throat awkwardly, before shakily continuing. "You know when you wake up and you're somewhere else that's not—you know—_home_ b-but you think for a second that life's n-normal a-and then you suddenly realize e-everything's…_wrong_?" he tried to explain, cursing himself due to the ridiculous stutter he couldn't suppress.

"Did that happen to you this morning? That must have been pretty distressing…" Roderich said sympathetically. The calmness of his voice just further agitated Gilbert.

"Yeah it was pretty fucking 'distressing'!" he yelled. "All I wanted was to have a nice morning with my brother and all I got was a wonderful smack in the face telling me that that's not possible due to the fact that he dumped me in the nuthouse!"

"Calm down, please," Roderich said softly. "Do you want to try breathing slowly for a moment—"

"NO!" Gilbert yelled. "I _want_ West's special Saturday breakfast! I _want _my old bed and my old fucking room! I _want_ to go upstairs and pick the lock to West's liquor cabinet and I _want_ him to come home and yell at me because it's way too early to be drunk and I want…I…" he drew a shaky breath. "I want West!" he exclaimed. "B-but I can't! You know why? Because he j-just left me here! That's why! Left me here while he goes off and does WHATEVER while I just WAIT for him here! How could he leave me?" he finally sobbed. What happening? A barrage of feelings was coursing through him. Why did it suddenly hurt so much more to know that his brother left him here?

"Missing your brother is perfectly natural, Gilbert," Roddy said, nodding slowly. "But, do you really think that Ludwig intended to abandon you by bringing you here?"

"I want to talk to him," Gilbert mumbled, avoiding the question. He didn't want to discuss that with his shrink. Suddenly, it was extremely important that he ask Ludwig himself. What if West really did mean to just leave him in this place so he didn't have to deal with Gilbert anymore?

"Gilbert, I think it would be better if we talked—"

"I want to talk to him!" he repeated, his voice rising in volume. "I _need_ to call him!"

"We've talked about the difference between wanting something and needing it, Gilbert."

"I don't care! I need to talk to him! Let me use the phone!" he yelled in response, getting up slightly from his chair. Was Roddy really going to forbid him from using the phone?

"I think this is an issue that needs to be talked about first," Roderich explained calmly.

"No!" Gilbert answered angrily. "I just need to talk to him for a couple minutes! There is nothing that we need to talk about!"

"Yes there is, this feeling of abandonment doesn't have anything to do with Ludwig, it's about you and what your mind is telling you," Roderich softly said. "Once we explore that…"

"Nein! Lassen Sie mich zu meinem Bruder du dumme Arschloch zu sprechen!" Gilbert shouted, accidently slipping between languages. "No! Let me speak to my brother you stupid—" he repeated, only to be cut off by Roderich.

"I understood perfectly well the first time, Gilbert. Please avoid profanities," he said with force, but still managed to keep his voice calm. "Now, I would like you to take a deep breath and…"

"NO!" Gilbert screamed, not caring in the least that his doctor apparently spoke German.

"We will get nowhere with this if you refuse to calm down…"

"LET ME CALL HIM!" Gilbert was done trying to be calm. How dare they bar him from contacting his brother? He failed to notice the sound of the door opening behind him.

"Is everything okay in here?" Antonio's voice carried from the cracked open door.

"Gilbert's just a little upset right now," Dr. Roddy answered.

"A LITTLE?" Gilbert yelled. Roderich seemingly ignored that comment.

"He's just having a hard time and wants to call his brother."

"I NEED to talk to him!"

"But he needs to calm down and discuss what he is feeling before we can call Ludwig…"

"I see," said Antonio. Gilbert had the sneaking suspicion that Roderich's words were aimed more at _him_ than the orderly.

"Please Roddy?" he said softly, trying to calm down enough to go for a different tactic. "I'll be fine if I just get to talk to him…please?" he begged, hating the fact that he thought he could feel tears forming in the corners of his eyes.

"The thing is, Gilbert…" Roderich sighed, taking his glasses off to clean before continuing, "…I don't think you'll be fine after you speak with your brother."

"Yes, I will!" he snapped, glaring at him through the stupid tears that were stupidly clouding his vision.

"It is true that you may feel better immediately after, but it will only be so long before you miss him again. It may even feel worse after the conversation is over. You can't call him every time you feel homesick."

"Yes I can!" Gilbert growled. Roderich just shook his head.

"No, you can't rely on your brother to stabilize you emotionally. It's not fair to him, or yourself, Gilbert," he said softly.

God damn it, here he was again, freaking out over practically nothing. Hell, he sounded like one of those freaking twins.

"I think once you deal with some of these feelings on your own, it may be beneficial to contact your brother from time to time, but we need to talk about…"

"I don't want to talk about this," Gilbert whispered.

"We don't have to discuss it now but…"

"Can I go back to my room now?" Gilbert asked, cutting off the latter half of Roderich's comment.

"If you feel like we are finished here, then there is no need to prolong this session any further," Dr. Roddy answered, nodding. "Thank you for calming down, Gilbert."

"No problem…" Gilbert muttered, staring down at the floor as he desperately tried to reel in his emotions.

"We'll see if you are calm enough to call Ludwig after dinner."

"Uh…okay…wait, what? I can call him?" A tiny spark of hope glimmered in his heart.

"If you can prove that you can handle it," Roderich answered, pushing his glasses farther up the bridge of his nose. "Providing that you and I have a discussion afterwards..."

"You bet I can handle it!" Gilbert said, feigning a confident smile. Inwardly, he tried to believe that he could just will his volatile emotions away as easy as he said those words.

"I will see you in a couple hours then," Dr. Roddy said, although he didn't look like he was buying Gilbert's confident act.

"Bye, Doc!" Gilbert waved as he left the room with Antonio. "I will see you soon!"

As he walked down the hall, Gilbert focused on trying to achieve his goal. If he convinced the staff that he was fine, then he would get to call West and feel better for real. All he had to do was persevere for the next couple of hours. He could do it. No problem.

"You okay, Gil?" Antonio asked, breaking up his thoughts. "You seem kind of quiet…"

"Don't worry! I'm good!" he answered, giving a shaky smile. "I'm just thinking and stuff!" Antonio looked like he didn't really believe him. "Really, I'm fine…" Gilbert reiterated.

"Okay, bud," Antonio finally said, nodding. "But let me know if you need any help or anything." Upon reaching the door to Gilbert and Lovino's room, the two of them stopped simultaneously.

"Will do, man. Thanks," Gilbert waved slowly before turning to entering the room.

"Be sure to call if you're having troubles," Antonio called as he walked away. "Checks will be in fifteen!"

Gilbert sat on his bed, staring at the gray floor intently. He was trying _so hard_ to keep those emotions down but they felt like they would bubble up at any minute.

_I can do this!_ Gilbert thought to himself. _I don't want to feel this way, so I won't! Simple as that_. Unfortunately this tactic failed to work. "All I have to do is focus on something else…I just won't think about how I miss West or how much I hate that he left me here to rot…" he said to himself, walking slowly over to Lovino's side of the room to pick up the book his roommate was reading before. Carefully, he opened it and began to read.

"Chapter one…" he muttered.

Lovino was right. This book was a piece of crap. Why the fuck would Gilbert's cranky roommate be reading a sappy romance novel anyway? That just didn't make sense.

"Maybe I'll take a nap…" Sleeping always made time pass quickly! He eased down into a laying position, not even bothering with the covers. Turning towards the wall, he was met with the images of his get well soon cards. "Huh…guess a nurse decided to tape them up for me…" he mused, finding it funny that they were arranged in a way that the cards overlapped—specifically so that the majority of the swear words written on Lovino's drawing were hidden. Sighing, Gilbert found himself absently tracing the cute, yellow chick that Matthew had drawn.

Suddenly, a memory hit him as he stared at the yellow bird. It was...of Mutti, and his childhood in Germany. She would always sing him children songs when he came to her upset. Her singing always made him feel better. What was that song that she used to sing with him so often? It was his favorite… "Alle meine Entchen schwimmen auf dem See," he began to sing softly as the words came back to him. _All my ducklings are swimming on the lake_… "schwimmen auf dem See…" _Swimming on the lake_… He stared at the drawing, thinking of his little Gilbird, who was probably feeling so lonely right now… "Köpfchen in das Wasser…" _Their little heads dip into the water_… Suddenly faint chirping could be heard. Oh dear, was the picture making those noises? Please say he wasn't that far gone that he was hearing drawings speak! Thankfully, the tweeting noises continued and it became obvious that they were coming from outside the barred window. Gilbert rolled off his bed, finishing the last line of the song as he wandered over to the window, "Schwänzchen in die Höh." _Their little tails stick out._

He could see just enough of the outside to recognize that some sort of large tree was located directly next to his room. He gasped as he noticed the goldfinches perched on the nearby branches. One looked directly at him, chirping loudly.

"Gilbird…" he mumbled sadly, wishing that he could at least go outside and get closer to the finches. Stupid bars on the stupid windows. _Oh Gott, is this what Gilbird feels like when I put him in his cage?_ Gilbert thought, getting a little distressed. "What if West isn't letting him out enough! What if he's too lonely without me!" he worried to himself.

Sometimes it felt like his little canary was his only friend in the world. Gilbert had bought him on the day he graduated high school as sort of a commemorative thing. Back then, he was so eager to have something to take care of, and the little yellow bird in the pet store seemed just perfect for the job. They had so many good memories together: he would never forget the moment where he finally figured out how to train Gilbird to sit on his head. He was so proud! Gilbert smiled while watching the goldfinches flit from twig to twig, remembering his special friend. Gilbird was always there to listen to his problems; no matter what, he was always there for his master. Sometimes Gilbert wished that people could be more like Gilbird—without judgment. Communication would be a lot easier that way.

"West better be feeding him the right amount of seed…" he muttered, still watching the birds on the other side of the window pane. "And he better not have bought the wrong kind. I better check when I call him…" Oh shit. He was not supposed to think about calling West. Feeling his agitation build slightly, he tried to calm his rising feeling of unease by continuing his bird watching.

"They're so cute…" he murmured happily. "I'm so glad I bought Gilbird all those years ago…" Wait, it _had_ been a pretty long time ago hadn't it? Gilbird was a pretty old bird! What was the lifespan of a canary again?

"Oh Gott!" Gilbert exclaimed. _What if Gilbird's not there when I return home?_ _What if West has to bury him for me?_ He tried to force the terrible thought out of his mind, but it was to no avail. "No…" he moaned. "Gilbird can't leave me too…" he thought of his sweet baby bird passing away without him…alone. "No! No! He's has tons more years, right?" Gilbert asked the empty room. "Right?" he said again, his voice going up an octave due to his building hysterics. "I have to talk to West and make sure he's okay…" But he couldn't call West not right now… A small whine escaped him when he realized this. No. He had to keep it together or he would never be allowed to talk to Ludwig! "What if they don't let me out of here for his funeral!" he wailed at the sudden thought.

Nothing he was doing was working…he just kept feeling more and more upset by the thought of his pet abandoning him. Why did everything he loved leave him?

"Gilbird…why…please don't leave me!" he moaned, sliding down in a sitting position next to the bed. He pulled his knees to his chest, shivering slightly. _Don't lose it. Don't lose it. Don't—_ he repeated in his head, only to fail terribly. "Gilbird! I miss you!" he cried, laying his head against his knees.

* * *

"What's wrong with him, Mattie?" a voice called loudly.

"I don't know, Alfred," replied a much softer one.

"We have to help! That's what heroes do! C'mon!"

"Alfred, I don't think…"

"Should we give him a hug? I like hugs when I'm sad!" Alfred suggested excitedly. Gilbert barely registered the twins' presence, let alone comprehended that his personal space was in jeopardy.

"I don't think he likes being hugged without permission…" Matthew (thankfully) mumbled.

"Okay then! Gilly, do you need a hug?" Alfred asked loudly, but received no answer. "Does that mean yes?"

"I want Gilbird…" Gilbert murmured sadly, letting out another sob.

"That's his pet bird..." Matthew explained to his brother, who was probably confused due to his inattentiveness in group (and everywhere else for that matter).

"What do we do Mattie?" Alfred asked. "We can't bring him his bird… Maybe we can catch one from outside?" There was a pause in the conversation that probably denoted Matthew giving his twin a 'what the fuck?' look. Matthew said nothing, though and simply sat next to Gilbert. There was a rustle of fabric as Alfred sat on the other his other side, twitching a bit from the nervousness of not being next to his brother. Gilbert didn't move, he just pressed his head harder into his knees as he felt twin stares fall on him.

"Here," Matthew said after several minutes. Gilbert didn't move to see what he was talking about. The said object was simply pushed as far into his arms as Matthew could manage. Gilbert was confused. What was this thing? It was all furry and…

It was his bear. The grimy thing Matthew never let go of…the thing he cried into when he was scared or anxious…

Matthew had given Gilbert his most prized possession.

"When I'm feeling sad, I like to hug him really tight," Matthew said quietly. "It makes me feel better, even when I don't think I'm strong enough."

Gilbert said nothing, but he shifted a bit so that he was properly holding the stuffed toy. Matthew slowly bent down to rest his head on Gilbert's shoulder.

"It's okay, Gilbert…" he whispered softly. Alfred's hand nervously grasped at his shoulder as the older twin scooted closer to him.

"Baa baa black sheep, have you any wool…" Alfred began to sing with a hushed, hesitant voice.

Gilbert continued to cry, barely listening to the song as Matthew asked his brother in a muted tone, "Why are you singing that, Al?"

"He was singing it earlier…" Alfred explained, miraculously remaining quiet. "Or, at least that's what the tune sounded like…"

"Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full…" Matthew replied. The twins continued to sing the mistaken song together, sitting quietly as Gilbert continued to sob.

"…one for the little boy who lives down the lane…"

At the completion of the last line, the room fell into silence, save for Gilbert's ragged breaths.

"Che—" the soft, female voice of a nurse echoed through the room. "—cks? What's going on in here?" she asked.

"Gilly is sad! He needs a hero!" Alfred exclaimed loudly.

"He misses his pet…I think," Matthew added tentatively.

"You'll be okay now though, Gilly! Right? Right?" Alfred asked, sounding a bit distressed.

"I'm sure he will be, Al, don't worry," Matthew mumbled, not sounding very confident. "Won't you?"

* * *

"Gilbert? Can you tell me what's wrong?" Roderich's voice floated towards him through his upset haze. The twins' presence had suddenly vanished: apparently an orderly or nurse had removed them from the room. Alfred's protests of "but I'm a hero" could still be heard outside, however.

"Gilbert?" Roderich asked again. "Are you okay? What's the matter? Please tell me what's bothering you…"

"I can't," Gilbert whispered, not moving in the slightest.

"Why not?"

"…you won't let me call West…"

"Is this about your brother again?" Roderich questioned, keeping his voice as low as possible.

"No…no…it's…" Gilbert cut himself off with a loud sob. Words totally escaped him at the moment; he was just too upset to even form coherent thoughts.

"Can you try to tell what's the matter then?" his doctor asked in a soothing voice.

Gilbert, however was finding it hard to focus on the conversation. It was as if reality was spiraling out of his grasp. Where he was, what was going on and who he was talking to were becoming too hard too comprehend. Again, be attempted to put his thoughts to words, only to fail miserably.

"I-I-I…no! I uh…it's! Don't…" he babbled. "No…! He…G-g-g-g…" He was beginning to find it difficult to breathe as he continued to try and explain. He whined in frustration as it became even harder to communicate to his doctor.

"Gilbert, you're not making sense…" Roderich sighed. "Are you aware of what is going on right now?"

"Please! He can't! I don't w-w-w-wan… G-g-g-g…. West! I… Gilbird! Please no I… I…" Gilbert rambled on, sobs now wracking his body. He began to shake violently as his breaths became harsh and rapid.

"No, I don't think he's lucid…" his doctor's voice was quieter now, as if he had turned away from him to speak to someone else. Whoever he was speaking to responded, but it was too quiet to be comprehended by Gilbert's hysteric-muddled mind. "Yes, I think it may have to come to that…" Roddy responded. "He's starting to hyperventilate…"

"W-w-w-wha-a-a…?" he was unable to question his doctor due to the shuddering breaths that shook his whole upper body. Gilbert had no clue what was going on: he was confused and hysterical, every time he opened his mouth, nothing made sense. Hell, every thought that entered his mind didn't make sense. He began to breathe in and out even more rapidly, gasping for air as he sobbed violently.

"I'm going to give you something to help you relax, okay?" Roderich explained soothingly after a couple minutes.

"M-m-m-m…" _Make it stop…make it stop…_

"There will be a little pinch…" A cool hand gently steadied his right arm while the other wiped on a cold substance with a cotton ball. He winced in pain as he felt a slight pain in his bicep.

"There we go," Roderich said quietly. "Shh… you're okay, you're okay…"

Gilbert opened his mouth as if to say something, but it was already so hard to speak. He lifted his head to stare numbly at Roderich, confused. His eyelids drooped and his head nodded back down without his permission. What was going on? He was so tired… Everything was drifting farther and farther away…

* * *

Finally finished! I am so sorry this took so freaking long, guys. I wanted to have it at least done yesterday, but…I had an essay due and…well, let's just say I was as good as dead yesterday. Yeah…I went across town to visit some friends and ended up just sleeping in their dorm before returning home lol!

Anyway, this chapter has some notes: I know Roderich seems really mean by denying Gilbert the phone call, but this is actually based on my personal experience/training. Because I work at a camp over the summer, I've dealt with homesickness before, and we are trained to not allow phone calls at first. If you ask for them to wait several hours before calling, there is more of a chance they will get over it. It seems harsh and it feels really bad to say "no" but it does work most of the time. SO, there's that explanation haha!

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	8. Chapter 8

Author's note: Sorry! Omg, I feel so bad about the lateness of this chapter! Finals week ugh… It was…stressful and busy and…well, very difficult to write during. Also, when spring break came along, it was hard to find time to write while hanging with family. So I am really sorry! Hopefully, there will be less wait with the next chapter. Also, ffdotnet seems to be having some problems. I found out how to post new chapters though, so I don't think they'll be any problems regarding that.

* * *

"Wha—What's going on?" Gilbert murmured, blinking rapidly. For some reason Matthew's bear was in his arms. And he was in bed. How did he get there? What happened? Confused, he turned away from the wall, so he was facing the whole of the room. He peered around the perimeter of the area, trying to ignore that his vision was fuzzy around the edges. Thankfully, a beam of moonlight was shining through the window, casting bar-like patterns across the floor and ceiling of the room. He could barely make out a figure sitting on the bed across from him.

"Lovino?" he asked sleepily. "Is that you…?"

"Go back to sleep, fucker," Lovino answered firmly.

"But what…what's…I don't know anything!" His head lolled back and forth as he spoke. He was so confused; nothing seemed to make sense in his drowsy mind.

"That's because they tranq'd you, dumbass," Lovino sounded irritated, but his statement lacked the usual bite. "Go back to sleep like I fucking said and you'll feel better in the morning…sort of…"

"Why are you awake?" he asked his roommate, still not really comprehending the situation.

"Tch, I'm reading, duh!"

"But…but…it's dark right now…Lovi…what?"

"I can see the words okay! Just go to bed!" Lovino growled.

"But…what time is it?"

"Doesn't matter!"

"But…"

"We can talk when you're not high, okay?" Lovino's statement came out in an angry hiss, but it muted.

"…you're kind of mean…" Gilbert mumbled, wondering why he hadn't had this epiphany before.

Lovino just sighed softly. "I know, now go to sleep."

"Okay…" With that he finally let his eyes close, drifting back into a heavy slumber.

* * *

The first couple of hours Gilbert experienced after waking seemed to go by in a blur. Or, more probably, that was how his muddled brain remembered the morning events. He thought he remembered Lovino waking in him up, but in all likelihood Antonio could have been the one to rouse him. After all, without the orderly's help, Gilbert probably wouldn't have made it to the cafeteria, let alone been able to figure out the difference between a spoon and a fork.

Finally though, the effects of whatever Roddy had given him were wearing off. He sighed softly as he rested his head against the wall of his room. Antonio had dropped him off there after breakfast before telling him that his doctor would stop by before group.

Gilbert turned as said door opened slowly, revealing Roderich, who stood there stoically, clipboard in hand. "May I come in?" he asked quietly.

"Why are you asking?" Gilbert questioned, puzzled as to why his doctor would ask instead of barging in like all the other staff here (as well as many of the patients, now that he thought of it).

Roderich shrugged. "As long as there isn't an emergency, politeness should always be kept in high regards," he explained, before adding, "Besides, I think it creates an agreeable atmosphere for more casual conversations."

"Oh, so _this_ is casual?" Gilbert asked suspiciously. Nothing about speaking with his psychiatrist seemed casual. He stared blankly at Roderich before sighing, "But, yeah, you can come in I guess…"

Roderich nodded, not commenting on Gilbert's earlier question. He nudged the door open further and stepped inside, dragging a chair behind him. Gilbert was a little surprised to see Antonio as well, but remembered that apparently orderlies were supposed to be present for these types of meetings. He shot the man a small scowl, but it was met with a smile (had he expected anything else?).

"How was breakfast, Gilbert?" Roderich asked while getting comfortable in the crappy folding chair he brought. Antonio apparently was content with leaning against the wall next to the door.

"Uh…" he tried to answer, but found he couldn't really remember breakfast that much at all. "You might want to ask Antonio that… he would know better than me," he chuckled hollowly, trying to pass it off as a joke. Roderich just raised his eyebrows in question while Antonio snorted, trying to hold in laughter.

"You seemed to like the sausage," he managed. "But you refused to eat the eggs. Apparently they were too runny or something," he shrugged at this. "I couldn't get you to speak English so I'm not sure…"

Gilbert thought for a moment, and then laughed in realization. "Was it 'Ich hasse Eier'? Or something like that? Is that what I was saying?" he asked.

"Maybe, but, what does it mean?" Antonio asked, looking like he wasn't sure if he really wanted to know.

"You dislike eggs?" Roderich asked, arching an eyebrow. _Did I know Roderich spoke German?_ Gilbert wondered. _Oh yeah…he got kinda mad when I called him an asshole during the session yesterday…_

"Yeah, it means: 'I hate eggs,' because, seriously, they're the grossest things ever. Eggs are like bird babies!" Gilbert explained, laughing a bit. "Damn, I didn't even realize that I was speaking the wrong language! That's hilarious…" Of course, this wasn't an extremely uncommon occurrence for Gilbert, especially after he had had one too many drinks.

"That explains why everyone seemed so confused," he added, rambling on as he tried to access his foggy memories. "Sad I wasn't aware enough to fully appreciate the sausage though…"

"It's good to see that you are feeling better," Dr. Roddy commented a small smile on his lips. Gilbert stared at him quizzically.

"I am feeling better," he said, feeling confused. "Why?"

"I'm not the one to answer that question," Roderich sighed, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. How irritating. _Of course he won't tell me…_ Gilbert thought, frustrated.

"Who then? Please don't say it's _my_ job…" he grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest.

"We'll work together," Roderich attempted to assure him.

"How will 'we' do that?" Gilbert asked, still skeptical. Apparently it was time to be theraped…oh goodie.

"Why don't we start with finding out why you were upset in the first place," Roderich prompted. When Gilbert didn't answer, he added, "You told me that your bad mood started in the morning. Something about forgetting that you weren't at home…do you remember?"

Gilbert did. Stupid shitty morning.

"Yeah, I remember feeling bad…because, er, because…b-b-because I missed West," he finally stammered out. He hoped this conversation wouldn't lead to another day like before.

"Do you feel that your brother somehow abandoned you by bringing you here for treatment?" Dr. Roddy asked. _Straight to the point. Fabulous._

"Why do you keep asking me that?" Gilbert snapped in response, feeling defensive.

"I've seen a trend in how you refer to your brother and yourself," his doctor explained matter-of-factly. "You often describe him as 'leaving' you here, and I believe you phrased it last session as 'dumping you in the nuthouse,'" he added, reading off his clipboard.

Gilbert swallowed, realizing that what Roderich was saying was the truth. He thought that it was normal to see his admittance to the hospital that way: after all, his brother packed his bags for him and practically forced him into the car. But what was this persistent feeling that Ludwig had taken him here to get rid of him? He knew his brother loved him. He knew that Ludwig only wanted him to get help, to get better. At least that's what West said. Didn't he believe him?

"I guess I kind of feel that way, yeah…" he said quietly. "I don't know why though…"

"And that's okay," Roderich assured him. "It seems to me that you have anxiety over being abandoned or left behind in some way. Is this the first time you have experienced this?"

"Yes I—wait," Gilbert started to answer, but thought better of it when a memory sneaked its way into his mind. He looked down in shame. "There was this one other time I guess…"

"Would you like to talk about it?" Roderich asked. Gilbert was about to answer no, but decided to bite the bullet and see how this sharing thing would work out.

"Um, I guess so…" he mumbled.

"Whenever you're ready, Gilbert."

"It was the third time I met my brother's partner…" he started, his voice quiet. "West's terrible in the romance department, I mean, terrible. Like, I thought he wasn't having any sex until just a bit ago…"

"Try to stay on topic," Roderich said, coughing a little.

"Er, anyway," Gilbert said, correcting himself. "This kid is his first boyfriend…maybe even his first crush, I don't know, but anyway, it was the first time my brother had been in a serious relationship."

Roderich nodded as he spoke, motioning for him to continue.

"I don't know what it was…but something about them together bothered me in the beginning…"

"Why do you think that was?" Roderich asked softly.

"Mutti and Vati were gone…it had just been me and West before and…then it was suddenly _them_ and _me_…" Gilbert attempted to explain. He and his brother had always taken care of each other. They walked to school together in their early years; made each other dinner when Vati had to work late and cleaned the house together; helped each other with tests and homework and those freaking applications…held each other as Vati's casket was lowered…

"Gilbert?" Roderich's voice snapped him out of his memory-filled stupor.

"Yeah? Oh! Yeah...I didn't realize it at the time, but I guess I felt like he was going to leave me, just because he was in a relationship," Gilbert mumbled, shrugging. "So, when they decided to have a dinner at our house…I kind of ruined it."

"Do you mean sabotage?"

"No, I didn't _plan_ to do what I did…"

"I see. What happened?"

"Some plates were thrown. A table was toppled over. There was shouting…lots of shouting," Gilbert said shortly. "I think I might have told Feli that I hated him…and I may have told him that I hoped he would die in a fire…maybe…" he mumbled, looking intensely at the floor. "Poor kid was traumatized…"

"Have you—" Roderich started, only to be cut off.

"And he couldn't even understand the German parts that I screamed at West…"

"Do you still feel this way about your brother's relationship?" Roderich asked after Gilbert seemed done.

"No…well maybe a little…but it's better now," Gilbert explained, thinking of the conversation he had with his brother a couple days ago. It had even felt good to talk about Ludwig and Feliciano then. "I'm happy that he's happy, because he deserves it…but I guess the feeling's kind of always in the back of my mind you know?"

"Hmm, that makes sense," Roderich said, nodding. "Is there are reason for you changing your mind?"

Gilbert sighed. "I've never thought that those feelings were what motivated me to do those things…I just thought I was having a bad day or something. Luddie must've figured it out though. He told my door the next morning to 'remember that we would be brothers no matter what,'" he said. "I didn't get that until now, but I guess it made things better somehow. That and he stopped bringing Feli over after that night." _Except for apparently when I'm not home,_ he thought to himself, remembering his earlier conversation with his brother.

"So, you haven't had any contact with your brother's partner since the incident?" Roderich asked.

"No," Gilbert sighed. "But I feel like I'm okay with the concept of West dating…"

"That's good," his doctor said, nodding. "Other than that morning, have you spoken with your brother about the incident?"

"I mentioned it…kind of…to him the other day, but other than that: no," Gilbert sighed.

"Have you apologized to either of them?"

"No…not yet…" Gilbert mumbled. "Ludwig told me that Feli knows I didn't mean it, but…"

"You should make a goal for yourself. Next time you see your brother's partner, try to explain yourself and apologize to him," his doctor suggested.

"But how do I explain this? 'Oh Feli! Guess What? I feel fine most of the time then all of the sudden: bam! I think West's going to leave me and I'm just going to hyperventilate in the fetal position…yay!'" Gilbert said, agitated. He tried to illustrate his rant with strange hand movements.

"You could explain to him that you have an illness, and you are dealing with rapidly shifting moods and inappropriate emotional responses…" Roderich suggested, rattling off the jargon without batting an eye.

"I have… rapidly shifting moods and inappropriate emotional responses…?" Gilbert repeated, questioning the statement.

"From what I have observed, yes," Roderich said, nodding, "But we have been working with each other for less than a week…"

"And I'm scared of West leaving me?"

"It seems you have some anxiety concerning abandonment, yes."

"So the reason that I freaked out yesterday is also the reason I'm okay now. It's because I'm majorly fucked up."

"I wouldn't phrase it that way. Also, yesterday's attack was not founded on nothing. Like I said before, missing someone you love is perfectly normal," Roderich explained, trying to be reassuring.

"But why didn't I feel that way earlier?" Gilbert asked, skeptical.

"Homesickness can strike at any moment, even with people who leave home often or for long periods of time," Dr. Roddy said. "In addition, your brother's visit could have contributed to those feelings."

This didn't make sense to Gilbert. "But I felt good when he visited!" he said, confused.

"Yes, but you also had to say goodbye to him a second time. Sometimes that's enough to lead to feelings like that," Roderich added. "That is why I was apprehensive about allowing you to make a phone call yesterday."

"I guess I understand…" Gilbert sighed. "But what did Gilbird have to do with anything?" he asked, recalling his last lucid thoughts of that day.

"What about Gilbird?" Roderich asked, reminding Gilbert that he hadn't been able to accurately express his feelings about Gilbird the day before.

"I uh…kind of missed him and uh, thought he was going to die," Gilbert explained, feeling embarrassed.

"Why would that worry you?" his doctor asked.

"Well he's my friend and I love him!" he answered loudly. "I didn't want him to leave too…"

"Do you see others' passing on as another form of abandonment?" Dr. Roddy pressed. Gilbert didn't answer, deciding that he didn't want to talk about it. "Gilbert?"

"…can we talk about that some other time?" Gilbert mumbled.

"Of course, whatever is comfortable for you," Roderich said, nodding. "This has been a good talk, Gilbert. Thank you for your hard work."

"You're welcome?" Gilbert said, a question linger in his words.

Roderich smiled.

"I believe it's time for group, isn't it?" he said.

Gilbert groaned.

* * *

"Gilly! You're back!" Alfred called loudly as Gilbert entered the room. He began to gesture wildly to the spot between Francis and him. Matthew peaked out from his brother's other side and waved sheepishly, a small smile on his lips.

"Gilbert was at breakfast," Francis grumbled. "Don't you want to hear about the new shoes I asked Maman to bring me?"

"Mattie doesn't care about shoes, Francis," Alfred said. "And Gilly wasn't really _there_ at breakfast. Didn't you notice?"

"Non! He seemed fine to me!"

"Um, Mattie wants to point out that he wouldn't stop mumbling in German…"

Francis apparently chose to ignore the twins. "So! Pink sounds like a good color for Uggs, right?" he rambled on. "I think I want another furry pair, because the furrier the better? Am I right?"

No one answered.

Rolling his eyes, Gilbert accepted Alfred's offer to sit next to him. "So, er, how are you guys?" he asked, feeling a bit awkward.

"Mattie's having a pretty good day today! Francis hasn't given him any scary looks and the cafeteria lady let him put maple syrup on his sausage!" Alfred burst out with the usual intensity. "He loves maple! Usually they only let us have it if they're serving pancakes or waffles but I asked really nicely and they said yes and—"

"Alright everybody! Welcome to group," Dr. Vargas said warmly, cutting off the rest of Alfred's enthusiastic jabbering. "Does anything have anything to share to the group today?"

Francis' hand shot up immediately.

"Yes Francis?" Dr. Vargas said, gesturing towards the rapidly waving hand.

"Should I ask Maman to get me furry pink Uggs or Crock boots?" Francis asked excitedly.

"Francis, I don't think that question is terribly appropriate for group…" Dr. Vargas warned.

"What color would the Crocks be?" Elizabeta cut in.

"Pink of course!"

"I think this conversation would be more suited for the common room…"

"Green's a much better color for Crocks."

"No it isn't!"

"Guys! Let's keep to topics that are helpful to share with the group please!" Dr. Vargas finally said.

"But, everyone must know about shoes and fashion!" Francis whined.

"Please keep your hands to yourself, Francis." Gilbert scooted his chair farther away from his neighbor as Francis was chided by the doctor. Francis crossed his arms over his chest and began to pout.

"Anyone else?" Dr. Vargas asked, scanning the room. "What about you, Gilbert?" he finally asked.

"Uh, I don't know…" Gilbert mumbled.

"Well, is there anything on your mind today?" Dr. Vargas prompted, looking annoyingly eager.

Deciding that he had already had his fill of talking from his earlier discussion with Roderich, Gilbert crossed his arms moodily over his chest and scowled.

"You want me to talk about yesterday, don't you?" he accused.

"Would you like to talk about yesterday's events with the group?" Dr. Vargas asked, probably assuming that by bringing up the subject, Gilbert somehow was implying that he wanted to discuss it.

"What happened?" Elizabeta asked. "Did you get hurt again? I've got some cute band aids if you got a scrape…"

"Don't let her lure you into her room!" Francis called loudly.

"I could say the same about _you_!" Elizabeta shot back, clenching her fists angrily.

"Honestly, I don't know how Mei can stand sleeping in the same room as you," Francis snorted in response. "Poor girl, it can't help her anxiety very much to know that she's sleeping next to a psycho bi—"

"Hey now!" Dr. Vargas interjected.

"Well I bet your roommate…oh wait they won't let you have one!" Elizabeta yelled over the doctor. "I wonder why that is hmmm?"

"That was a misunderstanding!" Francis yelled, jumping out of his chair. "Shut your mouth you stupid wench!"

"Francis, sit down!" Dr. Vargas commanded.

Francis complied mumbling a menagerie of French insults under his breath.

"Pervert!" Elizabeta growled. Gilbert had a feeling that _someone_ was going to have a monitored apology meeting with Tino soon.

"Enough!" Dr. Vargas said forcefully before Francis could retaliate. "Now, Gilbert, did you have something to say?"

Gilbert just stared at the exasperated doctor. "No, not right now," he finally responded quietly. He didn't feel comfortable sharing the events of yesterday or the talk he had with Roderich with these…_people_…he was supposed to call group members.

"That's too bad. Don't hesitate to let us know if you do have something to contribute to the group," Dr. Vargas said, looking disappointed.

"I will, don't worry," Gilbert muttered in response, looking down at the ground as he spoke.

"Alright, if there aren't any more preliminary comments…let's get the topic of the day," the doctor said clapping his hands twice to get the attention of the group. Some of the members groaned, others ignored the doctor and continued to whisper to their neighbor (or themselves).

Gilbert couldn't help thinking of group as a lost cause.

* * *

Gilbert had a dilemma.

_Sure, Lovino had warned me but…why hadn't this problem come up before? _Gilbert thought as he walked slowly down the hall, lagging a bit behind the rest of the recently released group.

"If I call to Matthew he probably won't answer…but he's the one I need to talk to…but then Alfred will get mad," he muttered to himself. " But if I call to Alfred, then Matthew will be upset, and I kind of need to talk to both of them anyway, but it sounds awkward if refer to them both and put stress on one or the other's name…oh! What if they think I can't tell them apart?"

Of course, it was easy for Gilbert to tell the twins apart, so there was no need to be worried about that. Furthermore, he had spoken to them on many occasions before the one before him, yet…

"Why is it such big a problem now?" Gilbert finally exclaimed, still trying to figure out how to get the twins' attention so he could talk to them.

"What's the problem Gilly?" Alfred's voice startled him from behind. Gilbert started, whirling around to face the twins.

"Er, Hey…Alfred and Matthew," he mumbled, feeling nervous as he greeted them. Why was he so worried about the little detail of their names? Neither of the two look put off or offended by the way he had addressed them.

"Are you okay?" Alfred asked. Both twins were looking concerned.

"D-d-do you need y-your d-doctor?" Matthew whispered, his question muffled by his brother's jacket.

"Mattie wonders if you need your doctor…" Alfred automatically reiterated, not noticing that Gilbert could hear his brother. Either that or he realized Matthew was speaking on his own and simply felt the need to repeat everything his brother said.

"No! No…I'm good! Great, actually…" Gilbert burst out. His jittery feelings reminded of what it felt like when he was apologizing to the two of them a couple days ago. Of course none of his stupid nervousness had to do with how to address them; it was all about what he wanted to talk to them about in the first place. _Stupid sincerity and emotional talks..._ he thought bitterly.

"Um, yeah, hey…" he tried to start again. He tried to follow up his preamble by actually articulating what he wanted to say but…

"Do you need a hero right now, Gilly?" Alfred asked, a little too eager with the prospect of heroism.

"No! I'm fine!" Gilbert said, noticing at once the hurt look on his companion's face. "I mean, I'm okay now Alfred, but…I don't even know what I'm saying!" Oh shit…he just referred to one twin and not the other. "Don't be mad!" he exclaimed, worrying even more. If he upset them how could he ever tell them what he wanted to…

"It's okay, Gil…Apparently, you don't need any help at the moment, but you still need me to be your hero, yeah?" Alfred supplied, looking surprisingly calm. Gilbert was shocked that Alfred had come to such an insightful conclusion, but mentally hit himself when he finally noticed that Matthew was whispering in his brother's ear once again.

"Ah! Yeah! Of course!" Gilbert laughed shakily. "But, yeah…what I wanted to say is…"

Both twins stared at him expectantly. Nothing but a faint choking sound came from his mouth.

"Can we talk?" Gilbert finally struggled out. "I'm not good at this, but I wanted to er, tell you something!"

"Mattie is wondering if you want to go back to your room," Alfred suggested, looking a little confused.

"Yeah! Then I can give you back your bear!" he replied, before correcting himself, "Matt's bear that is…"

"I know," Alfred said. _Of course he knows. I'm tripping all over my words! Why is saying meaningful things to people so hard?_ Gilbert thought to himself glumly.

As they walked towards his room, Gilbert became more and more flustered. He tried not to notice the nurses' wary looks along the way.

"I like I said…I'm not good at this…" he tried to explain.

"Good at what?" Alfred asked.

"Saying…stuff…" Was the mumbled reply.

"What kind of stuff?" Alfred persisted.

"The meaningful kind," Gilbert answered. "I told you—one of you—that I wasn't good with friends…"

"That was me…" Alfred reminded him softly.

"Yeah! Oh yeah! Really…I didn't forget! I can tell you apart, really! Don't—" Gilbert exclaimed, rambling awkwardly.

"It's okay…" Matthew surprised him by piping up on his own. "Y-you were like this w-when you apologized to us the other d-day."

"He was?" Alfred asked.

"D-don't be n-nervous, G-G-Gilbert…you won't m-mess up if y-you just say w-what you f-feel…" Funny how the stutter did nothing to inspire confidence…

"Why didn't I notice?" Alfred asked his brother again.

"Y-you were pretty upset, Al…i-it's okay," Matthew responded, patting his shoulder. Gilbert was momentarily entranced with the brief glimpse of a two-sided conversation of the twins.

"B-but…I never can…I'm not good…"

"N-no! It's o-okay, Alfred, really…" Despite Matthew's valiant efforts, Alfred was starting to look pretty distressed.

"We're here!" Gilbert shouted awkwardly in an attempt to ease the tension. Succeeding in momentarily snapping the twins out of their world, he hurried inside his room, beckoning them to follow him to his bed. Carefully he picked up the precious object from its carefully placed position atop his pillows.

"Here," he said quietly, handing the bear to Matthew, who instantly grabbed the well-loved stuffed animal.

"Thanks…" he mumbled, holding the bear close.

"And…thanks," Gilbert said quietly. "For yesterday I mean…That's what I wanted to say to you guys. It meant a lot to me that you…I don't know, cared? I guess… I don't know…"

There. He said it. Hopefully, it didn't come off as stupid and awkward as he thought it did.

"No prob! I'm you're hero right?" Alfred laughed gleefully, lunging in for a hug.

"Ooof!" Gilbert groaned once he found himself in the crushing embrace, but suddenly he was released.

"Ah! You're right, Mattie!" Alfred said, looking a little sad again. Had Matthew spoken? Gilbert couldn't recall hearing him; maybe his words had been too soft.

"I forgot to ask permission again. Sorry Gilly…" Alfred said glumly, looking quite downtrodden.

Gilbert felt a smile tug at his lips. "s'okay…" he said softly, extending his arms. "Thanks," he repeated, beckoning both twins forward with a quick hand gesture.

"Yes! You're welcome Gilly!" Alfred whooped, tackling him with the force of an extremely happy rhino…if such a thing existed. Matthew doddled for a couple minutes, looking kind of left out.

"You too, Matt," Gilbert said, freeing one of his arms from Alfred's stranglehold. "You're help…it…it…really meant a lot to me…" he got out with difficulty. The statement was enough though, as Matthew hurried over afterward, joining their three-way hug.

Gilbert had known from experience that each twin on their own packed a punch in the hug-strength department, but the two of them together…

Gilbert hadn't felt this secure in a long time.

Suddenly a loud cough filled the room. "Gay!" coughed Lovino, effectively ruining the moment as he stomped towards his bed.

"…douche…" Gilbert muttered.

"Pansy candy ass," Lovino shot back.

Gilbert just laughed.

* * *

"Alfred! What did I tell you?" Arthur chided, adjusting the rickety common room chair he was sitting in. "The knight doesn't move like that!"

"Heroes move in whichever way they want!" Alfred chirped as he played absently with said chess piece. Matthew sighed and placed the piece in the correct spot for his brother.

"Check," Arthur huffed after his move.

"Let's move the knight again, Mattie!" Alfred laughed.

"No, no…you have to reposition your king," Arthur tried to explain, but Alfred didn't seem to comprehend.

It seemed to Gilbert that Arthur should just give up trying to play chess with Alfred. After all, Matthew—who was currently perched on his brother's lap—was the one making all the _legal_ moves.

"Boom! Super knight attack! I win!"

"There is no such move Alfred! Put my king back!"

Given that one party barely knew how to play, the game ended quickly. Gilbert had already witnessed three of such games, and sighed as another commenced. Finally, he had an open afternoon, yet he was bored out of his mind. His options for entertainment were depressingly bleak. It was either watch Alfred and Arthur play chess until the latter had to go to group or watch Dora the Explorer.

Lovino had chosen to watch the TV show and didn't look very happy about it. Even from across the room Gilbert could feel the intensity of that scowl. Antonio, on the other hand had decided to watch the TV in addition to the patients and seemed to enjoy responding in Spanish to the obnoxious cartoon characters requests. He kept encouraging his grumpy companion to participate, only to be met with crossed arms and an even angrier glare.

Gilbert sighed as he turned to stare out the window at the bleak grounds. Wintery sunshine was illuminating the common room, yet no birds could be seen in the trees near the windows, much to Gilbert's disappointment. If only he had something to do…

"Arthur! Guess what?" Alfred's loud voice forced Gilbert to resume paying attention to the chess game before him.

"You learned that rooks can't move diagonally?" Arthur answered, seeming a little hopeful.

"What?" Alfred asked, confused.

"Never mind, what is it?" Arthur asked even as Matthew started to whisper an explanation to his brother.

"You mean the castle?" Alfred said loudly, looking back and forth between Matthew and Arthur quizzically.

"Yes, yes…I guess so," Arthur sighed. "Now what did you want to tell me?"

"Mattie and I got a call from Mom today!"

"Oh really," Arthur commented quietly. Gilbert couldn't quite place his expression. Was that…contempt that he saw?

"Yeah, she said that she'll be here on Thursday!" Alfred continued, seeming pretty excited. "She's going to bring me some new glasses and…you know, visit and stuff…"

"Wonderful…"

"I think she'll notice Mattie this time!" Alfred said happily. "I _will_ succeed!" Matthew himself did not look so pleased with the prospect of his mother visiting. Instead, he was frowning deeply while clutching Alfred's jacket like a life line. Gilbert was starting to feel uneasy with the situation. Something seemed definitely wrong.

"She usually doesn't have a lot of time because of her work to visit, so it's great that she's coming. Right?"

"Right," Arthur answered with a sort of sad smile. "I have to go to group now. I'll see you later." Slowly, he rose from his chair and walked towards Antonio and Lovino, who were apparently waiting for him. As he left, he muttered something that sounded like "the fairies do not like her at all…"

"Do you want to play, Gilly?" Alfred asked, apparently not noticing Arthur's behavior. Matthew, on the other hand looked dangerously close to tears.

"Um, I'm not that great at chess, Al…" Gilbert mumbled, feeling a bit awkward.

"I'm sure you'll be great at super awesome hero chess!" Alfred pressed on excitedly.

"What's 'super awesome hero chess?'"

Gilbert soon learned that apparently, it was the same as normal chess with the addition of teleporting knights and rooks that could move diagonally.

"Lost again…" he sighed after their fourth game. He had been so engrossed in Alfred's bizarre moves that he had failed to notice Heracles standing next to him.

"Mr. Beilschmidt?" the orderly called in a soft, sleepy voice. Startled, Gilbert jumped despite the quiet tone.

"What?" he exclaimed.

"Dr. Edelstein would like to see you," Heracles responded with a yawn.

"What did I do now?" Gilbert asked, scowling. "Whatever Elizabeta said; it's a lie."

"You're not in trouble."

"Then why does Roddy want to see me?" Now he was getting pretty skeptical of the orderly's intentions. "And it's getting pretty close to dinner time isn't it?" There. Maybe that would delay his punishment for whatever he had apparently done wrong.

"It won't take very long, I think…" Heracles explained. "I think you may like it…"

"I better not be in trouble," Gilbert growled, slowly getting up from his seat.

"I already told you that you're not," Heracles mumbled.

Gilbert said nothing, but waved a quick goodbye to the twins before turning to follow Heracles out of the room.

* * *

"Ja, this is Ludwig." Gilbert felt a twinge of guilt as he heard the slight tone of worry in his brother's voice. _He must have recognized the number on the caller ID…_ he thought.

"Hey Bruderlein…" he said to the speaker on the phone slowly, looking at Roderich across the desk as he did so.

"Is something the matter, Bruder?" Ludwig asked, sounding even more worried.

"No, I'm okay…today at least," Gilbert said.

"Today?" Funny how that one word held so many questions. Of course Ludwig immediately got that Gilbert meant there were times that he was _not okay_.

"Yeah, yesterday was not good…"

"Bruder, what happened?" Ludwig was sounding kind of upset now.

"Don't worry so much, Luddie. I'm good now…" Gilbert explained, trying to lighten the conversation.

"But you weren't okay yesterday. What happened?"

"I uh…I…" Gilbert paused, only to see Roddy motion for him to go on. "I really missed you and…and Gilbird…and…"

"Do you need me to come over there?"

"No! No, I know you are busy…you told me when you visited," Gilbert exclaimed. "Please don't worry, West… This isn't what this phone conversation is supposed to be about."

"I'll try, Bruder, but…"

"Roddy says that I have anxiety over abandonment," he stated hurriedly. _Better just come out and say it…_

"Bruder!"

"But I did a good job today, so I got to call you."

"…"

"I just wanted to tell you that I guess…that I made some progress…kind of," he concluded. "But I have a long way to go…and that I miss you…"

"…Gilbert…"

"I miss you, but…I know that you love me and that's why you _brought_ me here, even when it doesn't feel that way."

"Of course, Gilbert, Ich liebe dich," Ludwig sighed.

"Ich liebe dich auch," Gilbert replied. "And…I'm sorry. I'm sorry…for a lot of things, but mostly for how I treated Feliciano…I shouldn't have said those things." Across the desk, Roddy looked a little surprised that he had apologized then and there. Regardless, he smiled a little and gave Gilbert an awkward thumbs up.

"We both know you didn't mean it, Bruder."

"I want to apologize to Feli too…" Gilbert added quietly.

"May be I will bring him on my next visit," Ludwig said. "And thank you."

"No problem, West," Gilbert said, chuckling a bit. "Now, can you find out the average lifespan of a canary for me?"

"Huh?"

"How's Gilbird?"

"Oh…" Ludwig mumbled trailing off. Gilbert couldn't help but be afraid. What was West going to tell him? "Here we are," West finally said after a few rummaging noises were heard on the other end of the line. Suddenly peeping sounds could be heard. "That's right, say 'hello' to your master, you little trouble maker…"

"Gilbird!" Gilbert exclaimed happily. "What trouble have you gotten into?"

"Let me tell you…" Ludwig said.

Gilbert laughed as the conversation stretched on.

* * *

Author's fun time: Whew! Finally, finally done! Thanks for waiting, I hope you liked it! Hmmm… I think we'll finally meet Alfred and Matthew's mom in the next chapter… No promises though, sometimes things don't work out the way I think they will, haha! I'm nervous to write her though, because she will be an OC. I hate OCs but this character is pretty necessary so… Argh. Hope you don't mind.

Notes on the chapter: Mei, who is briefly mentioned here, is Taiwan. I don't know if she will appear again, but it's possible that she'll pop up somewhere. Sometimes it sucks how few female characters there are in Hetalia. Also, I don't have a firm grip on the personalities of the few that exist either, so that doesn't help. I'm planning to fit in Belarus in somewhere, but I have yet to find an opening for her, but I want to write her and Russia so bad! They will come sometime though. Sometime…

Sorry for the rambling note! Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	9. Chapter 9

Author's Note: Well, I guess it's only a few days late this time… Sorry again! I had a busy weekend, so it was hard to find time to write. Thankfully, I'm kind of in the "honey moon" period of the quarter right now, so school work is not terrible. Yet.

Anyway, this chapter has the twins' mother…and she's really…let's just say not nice. I felt kind of bad writing her, actually. Here is a **disclaimer **for this chapter: the things this character says, and furthermore any character that I write (if it comes up later) do not correspond with my views in any way. She says a lot of mean things, some of which are racist. This is because she is written to be a terrible person. I do not think any of the things she says are true, nor would I say them ever. I actually had to search the internet for stuff for her to say because I couldn't think of enough mean things…ugh… So yes, sorry for the long note, just wanted to make that absolutely clear!

* * *

"Beilschmidt, Gilbert!" the nurse called loudly, despite the fact that Gilbert was already two feet away from her. He shuffled towards her moodily, still not liking the idea of taking medicine.

"Do I have to?" he grumbled as she handed him the two cups. The nurse gave him a look that clearly said 'really?'

"It's the same every day, darling," she deadpanned. Gilbert glowered at her for a moment but swallowed the pills anyway. Just like always. Every day, just as the nurse said.

"Finished," he grumbled opening his mouth so she could see.

"Good," she purred, happy at his compliance. "Now hand me your wrist, please."

"Huh?"

The nurse sighed noisily, "I have to change your wristband."

"Uh okay…" He held out his arm tentatively, not sure how much he trusted the woman. She huffed slightly in response, but steadied his wrist with gentle a hand while she carefully snipped the obnoxious yellow band off. Gilbert watched with curiosity as she placed a white bracelet in its place. "Why is it a different color?" he asked.

"Your doctor has signed you off for grounds privileges," the nurse explained. "You may now go outside if accompanied by a staff member."

"I can go outside?" Gilbert asked, excited.

"That's what I said."

"Yeah! See you later! Thanks bye!" he called, walking quickly off to find someone to tell his good news to.

Unfortunately, everyone was still in line. Realizing this, Gilbert quickly backtracked and began scanning the unorganized mass for a familiar face. He found two.

Too bad they were a little preoccupied at the moment.

"Mattie wants to stay with me!" Alfred said defiantly, glowering at the nurse who was attempting lead the twins to their correct places in line. Curious and half-way hoping the situation would blow over so he could relay his news, Gilbert crept closer, trying to nonchalantly eavesdrop as he did.

"Alfred, you know you must line up according to alphabetical order," the nurse tried to explain. "Don't you want this process to go smoothly for everyone?"

"But why can't they just put ours together!" Alfred whined. "Mom _was_ going to change Mattie's last name back to her maiden name like mine anyway…"

"Alfred, we go through the same process every day, Jones starts with a 'J' and Williams starts with a…"

"Shut up! I know the alphabet okay!" Alfred snapped, clearly agitated. "I'm not stupid!"

"If you are having trouble behaving today, we can always reschedule the visit for a time when you are ready," the nurse warned.

_What visit?_ Gilbert wondered to himself as he carefully skirted the scene, not sure if he should come any closer. Suddenly, a thought occurred to him. "Okay, I came here last Tuesday…" he mumbled to himself, counting on his fingers as he did.

"I can behave! Don't baby me!"

"Alfred, please calm down."

"Oh! Today's Thursday!" Gilbert said triumphantly as he reached his epiphany, not realizing how loud he was speaking. _That's right; the twins' mom is coming today…_

"No shit Sherlock!" Lovino yelled from near the back of the line.

"Thanks Lovi!" Gilbert called sarcastically, sticking his tongue out him in response. He received vulgar hand gesture in return.

"Why can't Mattie come with me to the front of the line and _then_ we go to the back?" Alfred asked the nurse loudly, interrupting the roommates' spat.

The nurse sighed in resignation. "I suppose that's fine," she said.

"Sweet!" Alfred whooped, happy once again. "Good idea Mattie!" The nurse just smiled sadly at the two of them before walking off to help some of her coworkers usher the stragglers towards the line.

Once the nurse was gone, Gilbert sidled up to where the twins were standing.

"Guess what?" he asked happily.

"Artie gotta new My Little Ponies movie?" Alfred guessed with a goofy smile. Arthur, who was waiting a few people back in line, shot an annoyed look in his direction, muttering something about 'ridiculous nicknames'.

"Um, no," Gilbert said.

"Oh well then…does someone need saving? Is there a giant orange T-rex terrorizing the hospital?" Now Alfred was getting a little _too_ excited.

"Why would you think that?"

Alfred laughed, obviously finding Gilbert's shock amusing. "Haha, your face looks funny, Gilly! Of course I know dinosaurs are extinct!" Alfred continued to laugh as he inclined his head towards Matthew as the other softly tugged on his jacket. His brother didn't say much, however, and he turned back to Gilbert almost immediately.

"Oh, oops! What did you want to tell us, Gilbert? Thanks for reminding me, Mattie! You know I always get sidetracked and…" Matthew gave him a look. "Oh! Sorry again! Gilly, you were saying…"

"Roddy finally signed the okay for my grounds privileges," Gilbert said, holding up his wrist for emphasis.

"Congrats!" Alfred chirped. "That's so exciting!" Matthew just smiled in response, but gave Gilbert a shy thumbs up while his brother continued to babble, "Ooh! Let's go out after lunch, kay? We can come with you while we wait for Mom to get here! I know if we ask Antonio he will escort us, he always says yes and…"

"Jones, Alfred," the nurse at the window droned.

"…and me and Mattie can show all our favorite spots and maybe I can catch you a bird and it will be so fun…" Alfred kept rambling, unaware of both the nurse's call and his brother's attempts to drag him towards the window.

"Alfred!" the nurse said louder, clearly annoyed.

"…and maybe we can find some daisies or something but I don't know because it's kind of cold so maybe some mushrooms or…"

"Alfred Jones!"

"What is it Mattie?" Alfred asked his brother, finally acknowledging the tugging on his jacket. "Did I get carried away again?"

"Alfred, please come to the window," the nurse called, looking very cross.

"Oh!" Alfred called, skipping over to the window. "Sorry!"

The nurse just rolled her eyes and handed him the cups.

* * *

"Alright guys," Antonio said merrily as he spread a brightly colored blanket under a large tree. "Does anyone remember the rules for outside time?" he asked the group he agreed to escort outdoors.

Given that it his first day of grounds freedom, Gilbert didn't know of the set rules, but by the expressions of his companions, neither did they. Well, Matthew looked as if he might, considering that he was currently explaining something of great length to Alfred, who looked completely clueless at the moment. Lovino simply looked like he didn't give a shit, as evidenced by his high-intensity scowl at the moment. Apparently, he was not happy with the fact that Antonio had coerced him to come outside. He was clutching another of his crappy romance novels in his frustration. Francis, on the other hand appeared to be unaware that Antonio had even spoken to him and was currently trying to find the perfect gust of wind to flutter his hair and accent his attempts to model his designer sun glasses.

Speaking of sunglasses, why on earth was Francis even wearing them? The sun was barely out, surrounded by clouds. After all it was still technically winter, even though it was almost March. Gilbert winced as he thought of the date, and instead decided to survey the grounds while his companions figured out the rules. It appeared that the land around the hospital had been landscaped quite extensively to create some sort of relaxing atmosphere or something like that. Surely the multitude of trees and bushes blossomed with many colorful flowers in the spring time. Would Gilbert be here long enough to see them?

Arthur, who had been standing quietly next to him for several minutes, finally let out a loud sigh. "We have to stay in at minimum groups of two and we must stay in sight of you at all times. That includes staying out of bushes and shrubbery," he huffed; annoyed that no one else could come up with any of the rules.

"Remember when you caused a red alert because you decided to crawl into a bush and hide there for an hour?" Francis asked the Brit, laughing. "That was so funny!"

"Shut up! There were some baby gnomes in there that needed medical attention!" Arthur snapped. "You stupid wank—"

"Yes, well, let's get back on topic then," Antonio laughed. "So, you got two: stay within Antonio's sight and use the buddy system." He held up his fingers as he counted, winking at the word 'buddy'. Lovino dramatically rolled at that particular word choice. "Now, what do we do with objects we found on the ground? Who can tell me that rule? Matthew, maybe?"

"We leave them on the ground!" Alfred shouted. "Right, Mattie?" he asked, turning to his brother, receiving a nod in return.

"Good," Antonio said with a smile. "Now, be careful, especially while running, the ground can be a bit bumpy in places." With that he sat down on the blanket. He smiled widely when Lovino sat next to him, despite the fact that the other was probably grumbling obscenities into his sappy novel, which like the one he was reading earlier, had a picture of the model Fabio on it.

Francis and Arthur also sat on the blanket, as they apparently only ventured outside for the fresh air rather than exercise. Francis appeared to be trying to get a tan, while Arthur, after retrieving a pair of plastic needles from Antonio, was enjoying the chance to do some supervised knitting.

Looking into the tree above them, Gilbert was a bit disappointed to see that no birds were perched in its branches. It was still a bit chilly out, so it was probable that the one's he saw were pretty rare. _Either that or I imagined them_, he thought, a little terrified at the revelation.

"Looking for birds?" Matthew asked quietly. Gilbert jumped, surprised that the twins had snuck up on him.

"Uh, yeah, I was… They don't seem to be out today, though…"

"We'll find some," Matthew said. Alfred strangely silent besides his brother but his million-watt smile made it seem like he couldn't talk in fear of blurting out something. Maybe they had prepared a surprise for him? Or didn't want Antonio to hear whatever they were planning... "Come on." Matthew grabbed one of Gilbert's arms as he spoke, joining him in the conglomeration that was the Wonder Twins.

They walked swiftly away from the group, towards a cluster of trees and bushes.

"Hey! Don't go any farther than that, okay guys?" Antonio called once they were a good distance away.

"Okay 'tonio! We won't!" Alfred responded, snickering with glee.

"Do you see any?" Gilbert asked looking around. Too bad, he thought they might be congregating in the bushes.

"No! But we will!" Alfred laughed, digging in his pockets. Gilbert noticed that Matthew was mirroring his brother, pulling out…bread? "We'll lure them out for you, Gilly!" Gilbert couldn't help but notice that Alfred's stash of bread was considerably larger than his brother's. Matthew had apparently noticed this as well, given the displeased look he was shooting towards his twin.

"Oh come on Matt!" Alfred groused. "It's for a good cause and stuff! Besides, I almost ate the entire sandwich this time! You saw! It was huge!" Matthew said nothing, he just squeezed his brother's hand reassuringly, unable to wipe the sad look off his face. Alfred, on the other hand, seemed to calm down and divided his pile of bread in half, handing one part to Gilbert.

"Okay, let's toss them on one…two…"

"Three!"

White bread crumbs flew into the air, drifting back down like falling snow.

* * *

"C'mere birdie…come on…" Alfred cooed, shuffling after a large crow while trying to remain in a squatted position. Despite Gilbert's reassurances that he did not need a new bird companion, Alfred was still determined to catch a new "pet" for him. Although the ridiculous antics of his companion were entertaining, Gilbert preferred to watch the bread they had thrown be eaten by the host of birds that had swarmed the area. Thankfully, all the bread would be consumed soon, erasing all evidence of the twins' probable rule-breaking. Regardless of this, Gilbert figured that Antonio was aware of what they were doing but was simply too good-hearted to break up their fun.

Matthew had chosen to sit next to Gilbert, but was clearly more interested in monitoring his brother's proximity to him than observing the birds. "Alfred…be careful!" he warned softly.

"I'm fine Mattie! I just gotta catch this bird…"

"B-b-but…you're going to get infected with bird flu! P-p-please come back over here!" Matthew stuttered, shifting around uncomfortably. "Alfie!" he cried.

His companion's blubbering tone caused Gilbert to shift his attention away from the birds for a moment. He wasn't sure how if he should comfort Matthew or demand that Alfred come back over to them.

Fortunately, he didn't worry too much. Upon hearing his brother's complaints, Alfred immediately abandoned his quest. Whirling around, he quickly made the long, two yard journey back to where Gilbert and Matthew were sitting. "Mattie! Are you okay? What's wrong? Are you hurt? Where let me see!" he said rapidly, clearly going into panic-mode.

"I was just worried about you…" Matthew explained softly.

"Sorry Mattie! Please don't be mad!" Alfred whimpered, bringing his brother into a hug. By this time Gilbert, was feeling more than a little uncomfortable. Why was it that every conversation with the twins seemed to feel like an invasion of their privacy?

"Ready to go inside?" Antonio asked, coming up from behind them.

"Can't we have ten more minutes?" Alfred whined, shifting his brother into his lap as he did. "There was this bird I wanted to catch…"

Antonio laughed good-heartedly, "I would say yes, but don't you think it would be a good idea to get ready for your mother's visit instead?"

"Yeah! Let's do that, Mattie!" Alfred agreed. He began to stand up, heaving Matthew into a standing position as he did. Matthew clung to him desperately throughout the whole process, muttering something that sounded vaguely like "bird flu".

"Alright, let's go back inside!" Antonio announced once the twins were up. Gilbert noticed him quickly tallying the number of people in group before turning towards the hospital.

As they walked the group fell into quiet conversation with one another while Antonio whistled a merry tune. That is until…

"Arthur! Arthur! Hey Arthur! HEY!"

"What is it, Francis?"

"Does it look like I got any color? Do I look fab?" Francis asked loudly.

"No and no."

"Antonio! Arthur is being mean!"

"Don't worry, Francis, _I_ think you look fabuloso!"

"Yeah, but what about the color? Do I look tanner?" Francis pressed, fishing for a complement.

"Well, er, maybe a little but the sun…" Antonio answered, obviously trying to be nice.

"Okay! Okay! Here, I'll stand closer to Arthur. His pasty skin will surely bring out…"

"I'm not pasty, Frog!" Arthur snapped, only to be ignored.

"Just like how I appear even prettier when I stand next to him because…"

"Do you want a knitting needle in the eye?"

"Okay!" Antonio said loudly, hurrying over to Arthur. "I'll be taking those back now!" He swiftly grabbed the potential murder weapons out of Arthur's grasp.

"Don't lose any of the stitches!" Arthur warned worriedly.

"Don't worry, _mi amigo_, I'll be careful," the orderly assured him. "Although, maybe you should consider the pain of lost stitches next time you want to use the needles as a weapon."

"Sacrifices need to be made if the circumstances warrant it," Arthur replied, sniffing daintily.

Despite the mildly disturbing comment, Antonio continued to smile. Regardless of the orderly's easygoing attitude towards the situation, Gilbert doubted that Arthur would be seeing his knitting needles any time soon.

When the group finally made it past the heavy doors to the inside of the hospital, Alfred and Matthew were gone in a blur. Alfred had dragged his brother down the hall excitedly, blabbering about his plans for the visit as they went. Shortly after, Francis has spotted the twins' doctor…or more over, her large chest, and had left the group murmuring something about "motor-boating".

Lovino and Arthur decided to go back to their respective rooms. Not really having anything to do, Gilbert followed his roommate down the hall. As they walked in, the shower could be clearly heard from the bathroom next door. Ignoring this, Lovino trudged over to his bed and flopped down, picking up his book once again.

"Do you think the Wonder Twins shower together?" he asked after a couple minutes.

"Why would I ever think about that?" Gilbert replied. "What? Do you like envisioning the twins nak—"

"Shut your mouth, bastard," Lovino snapped, grumbling several more curse words under his breath as he turned a page.

"Why do you read that shit anyway?"

"…stupid annoying douche…" Lovino muttered, before turning to look at his roommate. "…huh? I mean, what did you say?"

"I was just wondering why you read sappy romance novels, that's all," Gilbert explained. "Do you secretly like them?"

"I hate them with a fiery passion," Lovino grunted, but resumed reading. "But this is only genre my stupid brother will bring me," he sighed after a couple moments.

"That sucks, dude…"

"I also think he must have a crush on Fabio or something because the cover art is always the same…and the plots are repetitive," Lovino continued. "But it's boring in this hellhole, so what's a guy to do?"

Gilbert didn't answer the clearly rhetorical question and decided to lounge on his bed instead. The two roommates sat quietly for several minutes, the silence only being punctuated by the turning pages of Lovino's book.

"Hey Lovi?"

"What, dumb-fucker?"

"'Dumb-fucker?'" Gilbert questioned, chuckling a little.

"If you're going to call me stupid ass nicknames, then I will be forced to retaliate."

"Sure, whatever…but I was wondering…"

"What? Can you not find the cafeteria again?" Lovino snapped, before muttering under his breath, "…stupid-ass…"

"No," Gilbert said, glaring at him darkly. "I was wondering if you have ever met the twins' mother…"

"What?" Lovino asked. "Queen Bitch of the Bitchy Bitches? Unfortunately."

"Is she that bad?" Gilbert asked. "I mean, Arthur doesn't like her but…"

"No one likes her," Lovino said shortly. "You better pray to the heavens that Wonder Twin #1 doesn't try to to introduce you. Emphasis on 'try', she tends to dismiss people pretty quickly."

"Uh…she does?"

"Yeah, last time I saw her, she asked me where the nearest Little Italy was and then heavily implied that she thought I was a member of the mafia." Lovino explained. "After that, she pretty much ignored that I existed…thankfully."

"Wow…she sounds interesting…" Gilbert was pretty worried now. Sure, Lovino didn't like anyone really, but he had never seemed to describe someone the way he did now. If Lovino, who flung out insults right and left considered this woman to be a vindictive bitch, how bad must she be?

Suddenly, Gilbert realized that the shower had stopped running. Furthermore, he noticed that the bathroom had been silent for a while now. Also, someone was knocking on the door. Gilbert had the sinking feeling that it wasn't a staff member trying to be polite right before barging in.

"Yeah?" he huffed as he opened the door, not surprised in the least to see Alfred standing in front of him.

"Gilly! My mom's here, want to meet her?" he asked excitedly, staring at Gilbert with pleading eyes. Gilbert turned slightly back to Lovino, who shook his head and mouth "no" over and over. "Please?" Alfred pressed, giving him the full-on puppy dog look.

"Uh…sure, I guess," Gilbert sighed, giving in. He thought he heard Lovino curse softly behind him. Or maybe it sounded more along the lines of "poor soul".

"Do you want to come too, Lovino?" Alfred asked, seeming hopeful.

"Never," Lovino growled.

"Mattie said you wouldn't," Alfred simply replied, thankfully not looking too upset. He turned quickly and began to walk next door to his room. "Come on Gilly! I left Mattie in there so maybe they're talking! Wouldn't that be good!" he chattered excitedly as Gilbert followed them.

"Mom! Mom! Mattie! Look! I brought 'im!" Alfred announced as they walked into the room.

Gilbert's gaze was immediately turned towards the woman sitting daintily on one of the beds, which by the look of how messily made it was, was probably Alfred's. That, and Matthew was sitting on the other, clutching his knees while looking, as usual, close to tears. The twin's had obviously gotten their looks from their mother. Her hair, tied into a much-too-styled pony tail, was the same golden hue and her glasses-less eyes were the exact shade of blue. Like the twins, she appeared tall, despite her sitting position. She was perfectly toned in every respect, and impeccably, yet borderline age-inappropriately dressed. It was definite that she had had some work done somewhere…

"Mom, this is our awesome friend, Gilbert!" Alfred cheered, jittery in excitement. His mother smiled a very tight smile, showing off her perfectly straight, white as blinding snow, teeth.

"Oh, _honey_. You made another _deranged_ friend. That's adorable," she said, her voice sickeningly sweet. She rose from the bed, her movements graceful and deliberate. She reached her hand towards him, tentatively, as if she was about to pick up litter from the street. Gilbert took her hand, noticing that she barely gripped his. "Charmed," she said through clenched teeth.

"Nice to meet you too…" Gilbert said quietly.

"You may call me Vivian, or Ms. Jones if you're one of _those_ people who think they're being polite but in reality they're just calling me old," she said tersely.

"Uh, okay…Vivian. I'm Gilbert Beilschmidt," he said after she finally let go of his hand.

"Yes, Alfred already told me that," she sniffed. "Not that I expect too much, given your mental capacity…"

"Excuse me?" Gilbert snapped, only to be apparently ignored.

"Hmm, you're that lazy Italian's roommate aren't you?"

"You mean Lovino? Yeah, he's my roommate."

"Isn't it hard to sleep knowing he's in the room with you?"

"What!"

"Mom!" Alfred called. Gilbert wasn't sure if he was shocked at his mother's actions, or was just trying to get her attention. Unfortunately, Gilbert suspected it was the latter.

"Not now, honey. Mommy's talking right now, don't interrupt. I'm having a conversation with your Nazi friend about his Fascist roommate at the moment…"

"What the fuck, lady?"

"I bet you two get along great," she said spitefully before turning from him, making it clear that she had no further interest in him.

Before Gilbert could yell at her in response, Alfred began to speak again, "Mom! Guess what? Mattie made cookies the other day! They tasted good! He's good at cooking right?"

Gilbert was starting to seriously doubt that Alfred would be successful in his plans to make his mother pay attention to Matthew. Furthermore, he didn't know if anyone in their right mind would want _her_ attention. _Right mind…what am I saying?_ He thought to himself darkly as he decided to walk over and sit by the twins on the bed. Honestly, he had no idea why he was willing to subject himself to this, but he felt like he should…be there for moral support or something.

"Alfred, what have I told you about empty carbs?" Vivian snapped, whirling around to face her son. Thankfully, it appeared that she had completely forgotten about Gilbert. _Thank God._

"That they lead to flab and imperfection…" Alfred said sadly, looking down at his hands.

"Good, you've _actually_ remembered something. How surprising."

"I always try to follow your advice, Mom."

"The key word is try, there baby, and you're simply not trying enough." Vivian chastised. "You don't get a body like mine and an exercise video franchise by just simply trying."

"Sorry…"

"You bet you are! Think of how bad it would be for my business if anyone found out about _you_…"

Gilbert couldn't believe what he was hearing. What mother talked to her son like that? In his youth, he had always thought his own father was unnecessarily strict, but _this_ was totally beyond anything he would ever consider appropriate. Even his Opa, cold, emotionless bastard that he was, wasn't anywhere the level of bad parenting that this women was on.

"What is your muscle mass anyway? Have you been working out?" the twin's mother pressed on.

"I try but…there isn't…"

"There's that word again. Just think of what I say in all my videos: 'you don't have to try, you have to want!'" Oh God…she was quoting herself, the horror. "Do you _want_ to ruin me?"

"No! Mom…no…"

"Think of what sacrifices I have already had to make! Do you know how hard it is to get rid of stretch marks?" she continued. "Why did _I_ have to have twins? How unfortunate!"

"Sorry…I didn't think…"

"Of course you didn't, honey. Not that I ever expect _you_ to. You're in _here_ for a reason aren't you?"

"Yes…"

"Well, that's good, recognizing that you have a problem is the first step. Speaking of problems: have you gained weight?"

"No! N-n-n-no! I've been trying so hard…please Mom…"

"I keep telling you: muscles, not fat…why can't you figure that out?"

"I don't know...I'm sorry…" Alfred sighed.

Gilbert couldn't take it anymore; he was going to shut that bitch up if it was the last thing he did. Next to him, Matthew was shaking like a leaf. His mother hadn't even looked at him once through the whole conversation. Alfred was looking disturbingly melancholy, his normally happy face drawn into a distressed frown.

"I'll be better, I'll be better…" he whispered in chant.

"Always saying that…" Vivian muttered. "Just like that drug addicted father of yours…When I look at your faces all I see is _him_." Gilbert was surprised that she had finally acknowledged Matthew's existence somewhat.

"Dad wasn't…" Matthew suddenly whispered.

"You especially," his mother snapped, glaring at him intensely. Gilbert rose at this instant, ready to deck her in the face. Right then, Lovino appeared at the door.

"Gilbert! There you are!" he called loudly, despite the fact that he had known where he was the whole time. "Hey I need your help with something. Want to come with me?" His voice was annoyingly joyful and dripped with fake innocence. Obviously, his roommate had thought it was a good idea to rescue Gilbert from the situation before he got in trouble with the staff.

"What do you need, Lovino?" Gilbert asked, still wanting to unleash a can of whoop-ass on the twins' mom.

"The toilet's clogged. Fix it," Lovino growled, clenching his teeth as he gave up on his cheery act.

"Better do what he says or one of his relatives will make you regret it," Vivian chimed in.

"I am NOT a member of the mafia you dumb bitch!" Lovino screeched.

"Um, yeah…I'll help you, Lovino…" Gilbert mumbled, but didn't move still fighting the urge to deck the woman in front of him.

"Yeah let's go and not get sent to solitary!" Lovino warned, gesturing for his roommate to following him. Gilbert slowly walked across room, looking at the twins as he did. Matthew still looked like he was about to cry, but Alfred seemed to be perking up a bit, probably ready to try another attempt at convincing his mother to pay attention to Matthew. Upset that he couldn't do anything to help them, Gilbert turned away towards the door.

"Have fun reenacting the Pact of Steel!" Vivian called over her shoulder.

"Oh yeah," Lovino said in a scarily happy voice. "I forgot we were going to find Kiku this afternoon and sign our very own Tripartite Pact, thanks for reminding me you STUPID IGNORANT COW!" he screamed. Gilbert instinctively held Lovino back as he lunged towards her, but immediately began to consider letting his angry roommate go. Before he could though, Lovino seemed to compose himself, and resigned to muttering, "…fucking clit-licking heifer…" under his breath. Gilbert honestly didn't know how the twins' mother could be so unaffected by the insults flung at her face.

That is, until she began to speak again.

"Oh, Alfred, you're delusional friends are so cute. It must be difficult putting up with their abuse all the time."

That was it. It was now time to fight or leave…and Gilbert was not sure which to choose. Thankfully, Lovino spotted Antonio walking towards them and practically dragged Gilbert away from the twins' doorway.

"Come here, tomato bastard!" he yelled.

"Hello guys, what's up?" Antonio asked as they approached.

"The Bitch is here, that's what's up," Lovino snapped. Surprisingly, Antonio did not immediately reprimand Lovino for his language. Instead, he frowned deeply, a facial expression that appeared out of place on his usually happy face.

"I know," he said slowly. "She has Alfred and Matthew's permission to visit so we cannot…"

"Her presence distresses me. There. That should be enough to kick her out."

"Lovino…"

"What? I'm a patient here too!"

"If you're angry and want to talk about it, I think Roderich's free."

"Key phrase: 'want to talk'. No thank you. Now, fix my toilet," Lovino growled.

"It's actually clogged?" Gilbert asked, surprised.

* * *

"No shit it's actually clogged!" Lovino snapped, pointing to the bowl. Within it was the novel Lovino was reading earlier.

"Lovi, why is your book in the toilet?" Antonio asked, not looking very amused.

"I needed something to clog it with, and that was a piece of shit so it seemed like the right place to put it."

"Why didn't you just lie about it to get me out of the room?" Gilbert asked.

"Because it needed to be actually clogged in case they decided to check!" Lovino explained as if it was obvious.

"Dude, that's some messed up logic."

Any retort Lovino was about to say was suddenly cut off by a loud scream.

"JUST SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" an enraged voice burst from the other side of the door. It sounded scarily like…

"Was that the quiet one?" Lovino asked, his jaw dropping in surprise. "Wonder Twin #2?"

"Go back to your room please," Antonio said quietly, his face seriously. Meanwhile he was reaching towards the walkie-talkie on his belt. "Back up requested for room 114…"

"That sounded like Matthew," Gilbert answered, equally shocked as his roommate. What was going on? Was Matthew really…

"JUST SHUT YOUR MOUTH! STOP TALKING TO HIM!" the voice screamed again. This time it was followed by loud _thunk_.

"That's definitely Matthew's voice," Gilbert gasped.

"Holy shit fuck!" Lovino swore in disbelief.

"Guys! In your room!" Antonio said loudly, leading them both out of the bathroom. Gilbert followed without question, still shocked beyond belief. "Stay in here, please, I'll be back," Antonio commanded, quickly running through the bathroom to the twins' room. As the door to the adjoining room opened, Gilbert caught a glimpse of the scene: Matthew was yelling and crying at his mother, who he had knocked to the ground in his apparent rage.

"LEAVE US ALONE!" he yelled again, his hands fumbling, as if trying to get a hold of her neck.

Suddenly, the door closed with a click, obscuring the other room. Muffled sounds of struggle and yells could still be heard through the walls.

Gilbert stared at Lovino in silent disbelief. Lovino stared back, his mouth hanging open slightly.

"Well, shit," he gasped out, swallowing thickly.

"…the fuck?" Gilbert asked, not really expecting an answer. They remained standing for a couple moments, gaping at each other. The sounds in the room next door slowly died down until the incompressible yelling fell silent, another, sobbing voice now took its place. Gilbert quickly moved away from the wall, trying to avoid the soft, mournful noise coming through the wall. Lovino wandered slowly after him, seeming like he was in a daze.

"Antonio said to stay here…" he mumbled, looking quizzically at Gilbert's proximity to the door.

"Er, I wasn't…" he stopped speaking immediately once he began to hear sounds of someone being taken somewhere from behind the door.

"Where's the head doctor? I want to speak with him now!" Vivian's voice could be heard outside. "Why won't you let me talk to their psychiatrist?"

"M'm…p'lease calm down…" Berwald's grunting voice was unmistakable. "Dr. Braginskaya's with Al right now…" Oh lord, was that woman really trying to pick a fight with the scariest orderly ever?

"I want to see _someone_! Where's the owner of this place?"

"That would be me."

"Opa…" Gilbert whispered, speaking to no one in particular.

"What?" Lovino asked.

"Oh…uh…my grandfather…uh…" Gilbert mumbled, opening the door a crack in order to peek at the scene going on outside.

"Woah…" Lovino gasped, peeking over Gilbert's shoulder.

"Yeah, Opa is the…"

"Our grandpas are friends?" Lovino finished, gesturing in front of them.

"You asked for the head doctor?" Dr. Vargas said as he approached. He stopped next to Opa, elbowing him playfully as he did. "What do you need, Miss?" His demeanor seemed carefree and jovial, yet his eyes were cold and serious.

Gilbert turned to Lovino as they eavesdropped, "Dr. Vargas is your grandfather?" he asked.

"Duh," Lovino scoffed, giving him a look. Oh right…they _did_ look really similar… Why didn't he figure that out sooner?

"I want to speak with my son!" the twins' mom yelled.

"I'm afraid that Matthew's been taken to…" Dr. Vargas tried to explain.

"No, I want to talk to _my son_," Vivian snapped, pointing to the door behind her.

"He's in session with his psychiatrist right now, Ms. Jones," Opa said coolly. "And furthermore, I am going to have to ask you to leave now, as you are causing a disturbance."

"What?"

"You may return _if_ your _sons_ grant you permission. Until then, please vacate the premises," he emphasized the word 'sons' as he spoke.

"Very well, I guess I understand," she answered angrily. "Let me know when Alfred is ready to have a coherent conversation with me." With that, she turned around, only to spot Gilbert and Lovino peeking from behind their door. She shot them a nasty glare, which Lovino responded by flipping her off. Gilbert quickly shut the door before anyone else noticed that they were eavesdropping.

"Aw man…I was going to tell her that I had put a hit on her…" Lovino groaned. "How could you ruin my fun?"

"What the fuck just happened?" Gilbert asked, not bothering to answer the question.

"Shit, I don't know," Lovino said, shrugging. "Was that fucking scary or what? Who knew the quiet one would finally snap?"

"Is he going to be okay?" Gilbert asked quietly. Lovino gave him a long, hard look.

"Oh yeah, he'll be fine in solitary, if that's what you mean. Most people get out after a couple of days," he explained. "Even Mikkel got let out last Tuesday…"

"Not with solitary but…"

"What? Emotionally? Mentally?"

"…I guess…"

"Gilbert, none of us are okay. You know that right?"

* * *

Historical notes: Pact of Steel=alliance between Italy and Germany, signed in 1939; Tripartite Pact=alliance between Italy, Germany and Japan signed in 1940. Just a little homage to the WWII aspect of Hetalia I guess.

SPECIAL THANK YOU: Okay, I didn't put this at the top because the note was super long already so it's going here I guess. Thank you SO much for everyone who reviewed! I know I reply to everyone (I hope, I'm so forgetful) but I just wanted to say a giant thank you because this fic has gotten over 100 reviews! Also, thanks to all of the anonymous reviews that I can't respond to, I've gotten some really great ones of those lately. Thank you everyone! Thanks so much!


	10. Chapter 10

Author's note: Hello! Yes! Finally, I get one done in time…actually a day early! I'm so happy! Anyway, thanks to all of you for your great reviews and taking the time to read this fic!

Oh yeah, and a reminder. Lukas and Mikkel are Norway and Denmark, respectively. Just in case anyone forgot since they haven't been around for a couple of chapters

* * *

"Um, let me see…is it: cum guzzling gutter slut?" Gilbert asked.

"Took you long enough," Lovino grumbled, filling in the remaining letters on the paper. "I almost won that time," he said, pointing at the almost fully drawn stick figure that was hanging in the poorly drawn noose.

Gilbert snorted. "You come up with the weirdest shit!"

"Oh please," Lovino huffed. "The best one _you_ could think of was 'ducks are cute.'"

Gilbert's retort was stifled by a quiet knock on the door.

"Come in, bastards!" Lovino yelled looking past Gilbert to glare door as if it was offending him. The two of them were sitting on Lovino's bed—as far from the opposite wall as possible—trying to pass the time while they waited for permission to leave their room.

"Like they really want our permission anyway," Lovino muttered as the door slowly swung open to let Antonio and Dr. Roderich inside.

"Hey, guys…how are you doing?" Antonio asked in a surprisingly soft voice. He looked really tired, and his left cheek looked a little red and swollen. Had Matthew punched him?

"We're bored!" Lovino snapped, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I just wanted to talk you two for a little while," Roderich said, walking closer to them, he stopped once he reached Gilbert's bed. "Is it okay if I sit here?" he asked.

"No problem," Gilbert answered, shrugging.

"Any reason you're not sitting on your own bed?" his doctor inquired as he sat down with more elegance than Gilbert thought possible.

"We're playing hangman," Lovino answered quickly, holding the notebook and felt pen they were using up. Unfortunately, it still had "cum guzzling gutter slut" written in large, red letters. Roderich raised an eyebrow as he read the phrase, looking displeased. Misreading the look, Lovino huffed angrily, "We weren't making out or anything, perv!"

"I was in no way implying that, Lovino," Roderich sighed. As he spoke, Antonio walked over and quickly snatched the notebook away, tearing out the profane page and stuffing it into his pocket.

"What the fuck, bastard?" Lovino snapped. "There's nothing wrong with that! Gilbert's the only one who will see it! Does he look traumatized to you?"

"Actually," Roderich said carefully. "_Both_ of you look a little shaken up…that's why I wanted to talk to you."

"Fuck you," Lovino snapped. "I'm fine!" Gilbert had to wonder if all of Lovino's sessions with Roderich went similarly to this.

"Lovino," Antonio started to warn quietly, but trailed off mumbling, "Mi querido…" under his breath.

"What, bastard?" Lovino snapped glaring at the orderly.

"I know you," Antonio said, pointedly looking away from the angry Italian. "Don't keep everything in…"

"Oh shut up! I fine!" Lovino snapped. "So what if I saw someone flip shit? I'm not going to cry about it! I mean: hello? It's just another little reminder that I'm surrounded by nut jobs!"

Both Antonio and Roderich stayed silent, as if they were hoping Lovino would continue speaking. Gilbert didn't know if he should be offended by the nut job comment. Beside, him Lovino was shaking slightly and his hands were clutching the blankets beneath him in a white-knuckled grip. Based on his reaction to the incident itself, and how he was acting now, Gilbert figured that Lovino actually shocked and maybe even upset over what happened. _Gott knows I am…_ he thought.

"So what if it was someone who…" Lovino finally muttered after several moments.

"Some who…?" Roderich prompted, his serious expression showing hints of hopefulness.

"I didn't think it would ever be him, okay?" Lovino yelled. "He was the quiet one…why was it him who snapped like that? Do you even understand what I'm saying?"

"I do," Gilbert said softly. "It's kind of terrifying how someone in this place can seem fine one minute and _not_ the next."

"Witnessing a peer go through something like this can be very distressing. It is normal to be shocked," Roderich said. "Thank you for sharing your feelings. If you want to speak further on this incident…"

"No thanks Roderich, I think I'm good," Lovino growled.

"What about you Gilbert?" Roderich asked, Gilbert started, not aware that he was zoning out slightly while thinking of the previous events.

"I think I'll be good for now, Roddy… Thanks though," he murmured, missing the slight worried glance his doctor shot his way.

"Well, I'm here if you need me," he said. "Now, for some other important matters…during her visit, did Ms. Jones speak to you in an inappropriate way?"

"Why do you want to know that?" Lovino huffed.

"For the incident report," Roderich said matter-of-factly. "Apparently you described yourself as 'distressed' after speaking with her."

"What the? Antonio!" Lovino yelled. "What the fuck are you doing telling _them_ stuff like that?" Gilbert jumped a little at the angry outburst. He remembered Lovino using that word choice with Antonio earlier and it was surprising that he had repeated it to Roderich. However, Lovino seemed more than surprised. Instead, he appeared to be majorly pissed.

"Lovi, it's my job to…" Antonio started to explain, letting out an exasperated sigh.

"Just shut up! I don't care bastardo! How could you just turn around and report me?"

"Lovino…"

"Do you relay everything I say to you back to your boss, is that how it is?"

"It's not like that…" Antonio protested, looking upset. "I was concerned…"

"About what? Did you think that I was going to fly off the handle too?" Lovino yelled.

"Settle down please," Roderich interjected.

"No! Fuck you!"

"Lovino…" Roddy warned again.

"Querido, please…"

"No! Do NOT call me that!"

"I thought…"

"I don't care what you think!"

"I thought what you said was right!" Antonio finally burst out angrily. "You are a patient here, and she was treating you badly! I thought that if we could get _some sort_ of evidence to keep that…_woman_…away from the hospital…then we—I—could protect you…I mean…everyone…" he trailed off quietly as he anger fizzled out.

"Antonio," Roderich said quietly. "Do you want to switch posts with someone?"

"No," Antonio sighed, turning to stand closer to the door. "I'm fine."

The room filled with an uncomfortable silence for several minutes. Gilbert wasn't exactly sure what he had just witnessed and kept looking back and forth between Antonio and Lovino. Across from him, Roderich seemed to be having the same internal debate of whether he should say something or not.

"…sorry…" Lovino finally mumbled, his face steadily turning a deep shade of red.

"S'okay, Lovi," Antonio said, smiling slightly.

"I'll tell you about that bitch if you want…"

* * *

Roderich's pen scribbled rapidly across his notepad as he finished up writing down their account of the afternoon's events. Something told Gilbert that this guy didn't have the stereotypical doctor handwriting. Honestly, it was probably just as perfect as West's script.

"Thank you both," he finally said as his hand stilled. "I'll have quite a time removing the expletives…"

"Oh come on!" Lovino groused.

"Wouldn't that jeopardize the authenticity?" Gilbert asked, chuckling as he recalled the shear multitude of inappropriate diction his doctor would have to omit. Roderich shot him look and shook his head.

"I'm sure it will be fine, but thanks for the sentiment," he said dryly, standing up. "I'll be going now, but remember, I think it would be a good to talk about today's events a bit more so…" Lovino snorted loudly at this, but sighed after glancing towards Antonio.

"I'll let you know okay?" he huffed.

"Um, yeah…me too," Gilbert added, puzzled over the nonverbal exchange.

"That's what I like to hear," Roderich said as he walked towards the door. "You've got about another hour of free time until dinner. You're welcome to go out to the common room, or you could stay here if you like." With that, he and Antonio left the room, letting the door fall shut behind them.

As soon as the door closed, Lovino leapt off the bed and hurried over to it.

"What…?" Gilbert asked only to be _shhhed_.

"Shut up and get over here, idiot!" Lovino hissed, beckoning him with his hand. Gilbert, still confused, shuffled over to his roommate's position.

"What are you doing?" he whispered.

"Just listen!" was the irritated response. Gilbert mirrored Lovino's stance with his ear to the tiny crack left by the improperly-shut door. Surprisingly, he could hear Roddy's voice outside.

"…look tired. Maybe you should take the rest of the night off," Roddy said quietly.

"No, no…I'm okay," Antonio answered.

"I know you don't do this for the pay, Antonio…but overworking yourself is never good." Soft chuckling could be heard after this. It was definitely Antonio's but held a hollow quality that Gilbert had never heard.

"Yes, yes. Thanks doctor…" he sighed.

"At least have Yao look at your cheek," Roderich advised. "And maybe take a short nap in the overnight room…" Footsteps were now audible as Roderich's voice got quieter and quieter, indicating that the two staff members were walking away.

"You see," Lovino whispered after they could no longer hear the two staff members' voices. "Whenever they don't leave the door wide open, they want to talk to each other outside the room." He was still looking a little red in the face, and his permanent scowl seemed to have morphed into an uncomfortable frown.

"Lovino, are you…"

"Shut up! This is important information I'm telling you!" Lovino snapped."It's not like I care about that stupid bastardo or anything! He can be a workaholic idiot as much as he wants to!"

"Totally wasn't going to ask you about Antonio…"

"Oh…well…shut up!"

Suddenly the door burst open, effectively smacking both of them in the face.

"Fucking piece of shit!" Lovino screeched. "What the fuck is your problem?" he asked, slamming the door closed again while glaring daggers at a very upset looking Arthur.

"The frog told me something happened…" Arthur panted, looking like he had run all the way to their room. He ran his hands frantically through his badly disheveled hair, pacing around in a circle. "The fairies keep telling me that…shut your mouth!" he snapped suddenly. "None of that's true…you're lying to me! You always do this…"

"Oi, cocksucker!" Lovino growled, rubbing his forehead angrily. "Cut it out!"

"D-don't swear in front of them!" Arthur yelled.

"Don't slam doors into my head!" Lovino countered.

"W-what happened? Are they okay?" Arthur asked. "T-they're not…either of them…d-d-dea—oh my god!"

"Dude, calm down," Gilbert said. "The twins are fine…sort of…"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"They're not physically hurt, don't worry," Gilbert explained, slightly understanding where Arthur got his ridiculous notions about his friends getting hurt. But why were his fairies telling him crap like one of the twins had died? He had always thought Arthur's imaginary pals were friendly entities…

"Oh. Okay…" Arthur whispered. "Thank you…um, what _did_ happen then?"

"Matthew flipped shit," Lovino answered. "Tried to choke their annoying cunt of a mother."

"And Alfred?" Arthur asked tentatively.

"Not sure."

"He was with his doctor earlier…" Gilbert added. Arthur turned to look at the door that led to the shared bathroom.

"Is she still in there?" he asked.

"Doubt it…" Lovino said.

"Can we, uh…"

"Fine, let's see if he's okay…" Lovino grunted. They walked over to the bathroom; stopping at the second door to listen is Dr. Braginskaya was still in the room next door.

"Why is there a romance novel in the toilet?" Arthur suddenly asked.

"That's where it belongs," Lovino answered.

"I would have taken it…is that a unicorn on the cover?"

"No, fairy-lad, that's just a regular horse. You know: the _real_ kind?" Lovino growled. "The book's called _Comanche Heart_, for fuck's sake."

"Unicorns are real too! You are angering my friends!" Arthur yelled. "Will you stop with the constant swearing?"

"Well, excuse me Princess…" Lovino muttered.

"Guys! Shut up!" Gilbert snapped. "What if she's still in the room?"

"I don't hear anything…" Arthur whispered.

"Let's go in already! You guys are so fuc—dam—darn slow!" Lovino snapped, attempting to correct himself after being given a dirty look from Arthur. "Here, I'll open the door for you pansies!" He twisted the knob and kicked the door open, guaranteeing trouble if the doctor was still in the room.

Thankfully, she was not, but Alfred was. He was sitting next to Matthew's bed, hugging his knees as he stared blankly at the door. His eyes were red and puffy and his lip was quivering pitifully. Arthur immediately rushed over to him, taking a knee near his shaking form. Gilbert held back and instead stood next to Lovino, who was looking more than a little uncomfortable.

"Alfred! Lad, are you alright?" Arthur asked, tentatively placing a hand on the other's shoulder.

"…where's Mattie…?" Alfred mumbled.

"Alfred, I think…I think he's in solitary…" Arthur whispered. "Didn't your doctor tell you?"

"Y-yes…" Alfred answered, his head lolling slightly to the side. Despite sounding heartbreakingly pitiful, he was amazingly calm for the situation.

"Did she give you something?" Arthur asked, stroking his hair comfortingly.

Alfred nodded slowly. "I wanna see him…" he whispered.

"I-I-I can't…"

"Please…Artie…I need…" Alfred whimpered, tears forming in the corner of his eyes. "Please help me…"

"I can't take you to the solitary confinement ward, I don't know how…" Arthur answered.

"Oh." The disappointment in Alfred's voice was heartbreaking.

"Someone might…" Lovino said slowly.

"Like who?" Arthur asked.

"You'll have a fucking hissy fit, Princess."

"Please tell me it's not Francis…"

"Do you honestly think that Francis is capable of caring about someone enough to blatantly break the rules?" Lovino sighed.

"Just tell me, you infuriating child!"

Lovino glared at this, and seemed, for a moment, that he would not answer. Finally, he rolled his eyes and sighed, "Rumor is that Lukas goes up to see Mikkel from time to time."

Arthur scoffed. "Yeah, and rumor is also that Lukas couldn't even go to the grocery store by himself. The guy's a loon! I wouldn't trust anything he said; it's probably all delusional gibberish anyway."

"Well, he's the only person who may know," Lovino snapped. "What do you want to do? Just forget about it then?"

"…please…" Alfred mumbled, clutching at Arthur's shirt.

"Fine," Arthur said, pursing his lips in distaste. "You two go ask him. Don't cry to me if he sicks Mikkel on you though."

"Come on, Gilbert," Lovino growled. "Let's go to the Magical Fae Cave."

"That's what you call my room!" Arthur said, looking offended.

"Well, excuse me Princess!"

"Stop calling me that!"

* * *

"Okay, now be careful to say _nothing_ that can be construed as offensive to either of them," Lovino explained as the two of them walked quickly down the halls, reading the signs next to the doors as they went. "Unless you want to be punched again…"

"I'll be careful, don't worry about me Lovi," Gilbert laughed. "You'd better watch _your_ tongue though!"

"Shut up, ass-wipe!"

"Exactly."

Soon they reached an open door with a small plate next to it with slots that read: "_Bondevik, Lukas; Densen, Mikkel_" Lovino sighed loudly and walked boldly inside without knocking, Gilbert following closely behind. He readied himself to be pummeled again and almost put his arms out to shield his face, but stopped when he saw the scene in front of him.

"And then, Ariel traded her voice for a pair of legs…" Lukas read out of a badly worn book titled _The Little Mermaid_. His chin was resting on the head of an out-of-it looking Mikkel, who was apparently using Lukas' chest as a pillow. Neither party seemed to notice Gilbert and Lovino's presence.

"Luuuuuke…" Mikkel murmured. "But, but…does the Prince save her?"

"Shhh, just listen to the story, Mikkel…" Lukas answered softly, rubbing his hair affectionately.

Gilbert stood next to Lovino, wondering what they should do. Obviously they had walked into an intimate moment between the two of them.

Lovino coughed awkwardly, trying to initiate some sort of conversation. Lukas jumped and frantically pushed Mikkel off of him, shoving his confused roommate into the wall behind them. He stationed himself between Mikkel and the intruders, looking at them angrily.

"What do you want?" he snapped, his usually intense gaze even more intimidating than usual. Gilbert was more concerned with Mikkel however, and was starting to think coming to them was a horrible idea.

However, it was Mikkel himself who broke the tense atmosphere.

"Are you my prince, Lukas?" he asked, leaning forward to rest his head on the other's shoulder.

"Not right now, Mikkel," Lukas growled.

"Buuuut…I love you…you know that right? Right Luke? You do don't you?" Mikkel whined, wrapping his arms around Lukas, who squirmed and continued to try and appear intimidating, but was altogether failing.

"Yes, yes, Mikkel… That is a stipulation for proposing to someone isn't it? Don't be stupid."

"But Luuuuke…"

"Mikkel! Be quiet!" Lukas growled, before turning towards Gilbert. "What are you looking at?"

"Nothing," Gilbert said, trying not to smile. Lukas was just looked so…funny...while trying to appear scary despite being forcibly cuddled.

"They upped his dose again," Lukas sighed as way of explaining the situation. "This always happened after…" Mikkel whined into his shoulder, cutting him off. Lukas just sighed again, louder this time. "Never mind…what the hell do you want?" He glared at them menacingly, still trying to keep up the threatening front.

"We need a favor," Lovino grumbled.

"Well that's too bad for—"

"Who's that?" Mikkel cut him off.

"What? The pissy Italian?"

"Nej, the other…"

"The mildly annoying albino?"

"Ja, Lukas…" Mikkel mumbled into his shoulder. "Did I…?"

"Yes, you punched that one in the face," Lukas stated simply, sighing a little.

"Oh…"

Lukas sighed again. "Get over here…you…" Gilbert was starting to think that Lukas didn't know his name.

"I'm—" he started.

"Don't care."

Gilbert turned to Lovino, giving him a questioning look, wondering if it was safe. Lovino merely shrugged in response.

"Um, okay…" he said quietly, walking towards the bed, anticipating pain. He stopped a couple feet away from Lukas, trying to avoid his scrutinizing gaze.

"Go ahead, Micke…" Lukas murmured softly. Mikkel peaked out from behind Lukas, seeming almost…bashful.

"Sorry…" he mumbled. "I-I-I didn't mean to…please don't be mad…I didn't…" Gilbert was reminded of what both Roderich and Lukas had said to him about Mikkel. Before, he thought that he could never forgive the guy who almost broke his nose for no reason but looking at him now… Mikkel looked so ashamed of himself…and, after the past couple of days, he could understand not being able to represses irrational bouts of emotion.

"S'okay…" he said, extending his hand towards the other.

"Really?" Mikkel asked, grinning widely taking the hand and shaking it vigorously.

"Yeah," Gilbert said. "I understand…my brother put me in here because I went battle-mode on a cat."

"What the hell?" Lovino exclaimed from behind him, only to be ignored by the other three.

"That happens to other people too?" Mikkel asked.

"My poor rabbit…" Lukas muttered.

"So, are you going to help us or not?" Lovino finally asked, crossing his arms over his chest. "Because if not, I've got other things to do." By other things, he meant reading more romance novels.

"I don't see why I should," Lukas answered nonchalantly.

"Luuuuke…"

"What is it now Mikkel?" Lukas sighed.

"Maybe you should listen to them…"

"Why?"

"Dunno, maybe helping will be easy. Maybe you won't have to leave the room. Please Lukas? For me?"

"…fine. What do you want?" Lukas asked, scowling. "And make it quick. I want to finish the story by dinnertime…"

"Tell us how to get to solitary," Lovino commanded, walking up to stand next to Gilbert.

"Well you could try screaming obscenities or biting someone, I'm sure that will work," Lukas answered in monotone.

"You know what I meant ass—" Lovino stopped in the middle of an insult, eyeing Mikkel warily. Lukas seemed to notice this and shifted as if to shield the Dane even more. "We need to visit someone."

"Why do you think I know how to?" Lukas asked.

"There's rumors…"

"Those must be false then."

"Luke," Mikkel grunted in displeasure. "I'm sitting right here, and I _know_ you know how to sneak up there."

"No you don't!"

"I'm pretty sure I do."

"No! You're so drugged up when you're in that room you can't tell how many fingers you're holding up, let alone what are dreams and what are reality."

"Um, Luke?"

"What? Ah, shit!" Lukas swore. "Well…the fairies told me which way to go."

Lovino huffed loudly, rolling his eyes. "Not this shit…" he muttered.

"Maybe you should ask _Arthur_…I'm sure if _his_ fairies were real they'd tell him…" Lukas scoffed.

"I'm sure his fairies are not real!" Lovino snapped. "You're both cuckoo bananas!"

"Well, so are you," Lukas retorted coldly.

"No shit Sherlock! Now tell us how in at least semi-lucid terms how to get to the solitary ward!" Gilbert was pretty sure this was _not_ the best way to get information out of Lukas.

"I _did_ tell you! Now get out!" Lukas said; the edge in his voice apparent. Lovino turned towards the door, but Gilbert stopped him, suddenly having an idea.

"Lukas, you have a brother right?" he asked quietly.

"What's it to you?" Lukas asked, clearly defensive.

"One of the twins is in solitary…" Gilbert simply said.

"Oh, the loud one? Not surprising…"

"No, the quiet one. Shocking I know," Lovino answered.

"We have to take Al to him!" Gilbert concluded. "Would you really want to attribute to the separation of two brothers?" Lukas said nothing, but continued to stare at Gilbert for several minutes.

"They took him from me…" he finally said, drifting his intense gaze towards the floor. "Unfit to be a guardian…how could they know? He wanted to be with me, he said so…he was crying…" His words quivered ever so slightly as he spoke, but suddenly he looked up, his passive facial expression in place once more. The mask was back on. "Fine," he grunted. "I'll help you, but only if you make sure to tell Arthur that I learned from _my_ fairies, that are _real_." He glared pointedly at Lovino as he said the last part.

Gilbert sighed in relief, surprised that his tactic worked. "Thanks, man."

* * *

"So. Do you understand?" Lukas finally asked.

"Yeah, I think—" Gilbert started, only to be cut off.

"Shh!" Lukas hissed. "And put the freaking spatula down! I'll talk to you later okay?" Gilbert didn't respond, already used to Lukas' random outbursts of telling his "troll" to stop talking to him. After all, his explanation had been peppered with various threats to be silent. Despite enduring what seemed to be a constant assault on his ears, Mikkel appeared to be unfazed and was content to sit quietly as Lukas spoke. He would, however, occasionally interrupt to ask about the fate of the Ariel or to question Lukas in Danish. Lukas never responded, but the look on his face each time Mikkel said something was one of pure irritation.

Speaking of pure irritation, Lovino look like he was just about to scream every single obscenity he had kept bottled up during the conversation. "I think we got it," he said through gritted teeth, before turning stiffly to Gilbert. "Can. We. Go. Now."

"Yeah, that sounds like a great idea," Gilbert answered. "Bye Lukas, Mikkel."

"…will you just shut your mouth for five freaking minutes…wait, huh?" Lukas asked, turning to stare creepily at the pair of retreating roommates.

"They're leaving…" Mikkel supplied.

"Finally," Lukas said, his face blank.

"Hey! We can totally hear you ass—" Lovino snapped, only to be shoved out the door by Gilbert. "—wipe! Hey! Douche, don't push me!"

Lukas didn't seem to notice (or care). "Here," he said, holding out a piece of paper he had been scribbling while he spoke. "I wrote the directions out for you so you don't have to bother me again."

"Thanks," Gilbert said, taking the yellow construction paper. "See you later then!"

"You too!" Mikkel answered, grinning widely. Lukas scoffed.

"Let's hope not."

Gilbert quickly left the room to join Lovino, stopping outside to show him the written directions. As he waited for his roommate to look them over, he overheard Mikkel and Lukas resume their earlier activity:

"And then, Ariel traded her voice for a pair of legs," he could hear Lukas read. "With the help of Flounder and Sebastian, she swam to the surface. Climbing onto the warm beach she…"

"Luuuuke…is she going to meet the prince now?"

"Soon, Micke, listen to the story…"

Gilbert, a little uncomfortable with his eavesdropping, decided to start walking towards Alfred's room. Lovino, who was still reading the list, followed close behind, snickering as he did.

"What's so funny, Lovi?"

"Nothing," Lovino chuckled, before immediately stopping. "Oi! Fucktard! What's did I say about the nickname!"

Gilbert just laughed in response, enjoying the usual song and dance of annoying his roommate. Lovino, on the other hand, was not a happy camper (not that he ever really was). He decided to spend the whole trip back to the twins' room yelling rapid fire insults at Gilbert.

"Why can't you get it through your thick-ass skull that you shouldn't…" Lovino growled, only to be cut off by a loud "Shh" as he entered the room.

"Did you manage to get any intelligible information out of him?" Arthur whispered. "And do quiet that obscene mouth of yours; I finally got Alfred to fall asleep." He patted Alfred's head affectionately as the other used his thigh as a pillow.

"How cute," Lovino sniffed, grimacing.

"Did you get anything out of that lunatic or not?" Arthur asked, irritated, but still keeping his voice low.

"He's just as wacko as you are," Lovino said, rolling his eyes while holding out the paper with the instructions on it. Arthur ignored him and took the paper, making sure to glare fiercely as he did. He scanned the list quickly, mumbling a little to himself as he did.

"Says to leave at night—that's to be expected…hmmm…why at this specific time though?"

"He said that at that time a good number of the night shift start preparing for the next day," Gilbert explained, remembering what Lukas had said. "There'll be less of them watching the monitors or patrolling the halls."  
"Brilliant…but how did he figure that out?" Arthur asked, skimming the rest of the list.

"The fairies told him, apparently," Lovino said, chuckling at Arthur's snort of distain.

"What a load of crock that is," he muttered.

"Wait until you see…"

"Why is the last step 'mock Arthur and his non-existent fairies?'" Arthur yelled, causing Alfred to stir a bit with a whimper. "Sorry lad…" Arthur whispered, smoothing his hair as he fell back to deep sleep.

"So…how about we do it tonight?" Gilbert asked, feeling excited at the idea of breaking the rules.

"I don't think I can," Arthur finally said, looking bashful.

"What? Don't be a pussy!" Lovino yelled. "Man up Tinkerbelle!"

"That's not how it is! If Kiku wakes up in the middle of the night and realizes that I'm not there, he'll think I've been kidnapped and freak out!" Arthur explained. "There was this one time that I went to the bathroom and was totally interrupted in the middle of…ugh, never mind! If you want this to actually work, I can't come with you. And also, Tinkerbelle is sitting right next to me, so be polite!"

"Whatever…" Lovino grumbled. "We'll go without you then."

"You're going?" Arthur asked.

"Why not?"

Arthur looked down, his face reddening. "Didn't think you cared."

Lovino just stared at him for a moment, looking surprised. "I-I-I don't!" he finally said. "I just want to, you know…stick it to the man!"

"…right…" Arthur muttered, looking skeptical.

"Really!" Lovino snapped, blushing slightly. "It's not like I'm helping them because they're my friends or anything. They're barely tolerable after all…"

* * *

"Where's Mattie? Are we there yet? Are we close to Mattie? Where is he again?"

"Alfred, for the last fucking time: shut the hell up!" Lovino growled, clutching his head as if it were aching. "Do you want to get caught?"

"But…Gilbert!" Alfred exclaimed, tugging at his arm. "How much longer?" Gilbert sighed, trying not to look at his new arm leech. Whatever Dr. Braginskaya had given Alfred was wearing off and he was steadily becoming more and more nervously hyper.

"Wouldn't you think they would have given him another dose before bed?" Gilbert asked Lovino, trying his best to ignore Alfred's pitiful questions.

"Probably," Lovino grunted. "But if that numb nuts knows how to do anything it's how to avoid swallowing shit."

"Lovino!" Gilbert snapped. Thankfully, Alfred didn't seem to catch the jab and continued to babble about his brother.

"What?" Lovino asked, feigning innocence.

"Mattie—"

"Alfred I swear to God, if you don't shut up right now we're are seriously going to get caught!" Lovino growled. "Do you understand what that means?"

Alfred was silent for a couple moments, before he asked, his voice shaking: "No Mattie?"

"Fuck yeah no Mattie! Now stop sniffling and shut the hell up! They're going to hear—"

"Hey Jim, I think I hear something…" A voice was heard from down the hall.

"What is it Frank?" another voice asked.

"Sounded like voices…"

"Oh shit. Let's go see if someone's out of their room…"

The three of them froze as they heard footsteps coming closer and closer.

There was nowhere to hide.

* * *

Author fun time note thing: Oops! Cliff hanger! Sorry :C It worked better with the next chapter this way! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I think my secret addiction—I mean obsessive love (er, no I meant appreciation! Yeah…) for the Nordics (or at least Nor and Den) kind of came out in this chapter…lol. Oh and Frank and Jim aren't anyone…there just stock orderly type characters that I felt like naming…yeah…

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	11. Chapter 11

Author's note: Omg! I am so sorry that this update took so long! The reason is a terrible combination of writer's block and busyness. In addition to backing myself in a corner with the story, I have recently restarted my musical pursuits and have several essays coming up as well as finals. Oh and btws I'm also losing my mind, along with everyone else I know. The joys of spring quarter… In short, a million apologies for the lateness! I'm so sorry! Also, the next update…it's unclear when that will be done.

* * *

"Oh shit. Let's go see if someone's out of their room…"

Lovino, Gilbert and Alfred froze as they heard footsteps coming closer and closer.

There was nowhere to hide.

Gilbert turned to stare wide eyed at his roommate with a look that said: _What are we going to do?_

Lovino met his gaze for several moments, looking grim. "Go around the corner and hide," he finally whispered, jerking his thumb in said direction.

"That won't work," Gilbert answered. Alfred whimpered beside him, clutching his arm in a vice-like grip. "They'll notice us as soon as they walk past…"

"I'll make sure they don't walk that way," Lovino answered, rolling his eyes. "Duh."

"But Lovino—"

"Just go! Take Wonder Twin #1 with you!"

Finding himself roughly pushed away, Gilbert hurried down the hall, turning around the aforementioned corner. Alfred, still hanging onto his arm, followed, but kept look backwards towards where Lovino stood.

"I'm supposed to be the her—" he mumbled, only to be shushed by Gilbert.

"Be quiet! We'll get caught," he hissed, peeking past the wall to get a glimpse of Lovino. Suddenly, two of the night orderlies appeared. Gilbert ducked away, making sure to put a finger to his lips when Alfred opened his mouth to say something. He pressed himself against the wall, still afraid that they would find him, despite Lovino's reassurances. Voices could be heard coming down the hall.

"Hey buddy," one of the orderlies said. "What are you doing out here?"

"Whatever I want to," Lovino retorted, sounding irritated that he was even being asked.

"Uh-uh, that's not going to cut it, mister. Don't you know—" the first orderly said annoyance clear in his voice.

"Hey wait, Jim," the second orderly—Frank was it?—cautioned. "This is that Vargas kid, isn't it?"

"Oh yeah," said Jim.

"I'm right here!" Lovino growled. "You could just ask me!"

Ignoring him, Frank continued to talk to his partner, "I think this one sometimes has trouble sleeping…probably doesn't even know how late it is…"

Gilbert suddenly recalled waking up in the middle of night to the sight of Lovino reading by moonlight. That odd, fuzzy memory was starting to make sense now.

"Hey, buddy," Frank said, "do you know what time it is?"

"No," Lovino huffed. Gilbert knew for a fact that Lovino did. "It's a fine time to go for a walk, don't you think?"

_That crafty bastard is playing them!_ Gilbert thought. Lovino was using his previous record to fool the orderlies that he was the only one there.

"No, it's time for bed," Jim corrected.

"Really?" Lovino's intonation dripped with innocence.

"Yep, we're going back to your room now," Frank added, undoubtedly starting to gently lead Lovino away from Gilbert and Alfred's hiding spot.

"If you say so," Lovino mumbled. Gilbert sighed in relief, thankful that he thought to stuff his blankets with pillows. Hopefully the orderlies would assume he was asleep. Hopefully.

Finally, three sets of footsteps could be heard walking in the other direction. Gilbert once again peeked from behind the wall, watching Lovino and the orderlies disappear down the hall.

"He sacrificed himself!" Alfred whispered in despair.

"He'll be fine," Gilbert told him, surprised that he believed his own words. That wasn't a normal occurrence for him really. "They just think he's confused, I don't think he'll be in trouble."

"Oh…okay…" Alfred said, not looking convinced. "Where's Mattie?"

"That's where we're going…" Gilbert sighed as he led them down the hall once again.

"But…"

"Shhh…"

Alfred thankfully remained silent for several minutes as they walked quickly towards their destination. Gilbert allowed himself to get back into the feeling of exhilaration he had felt earlier. The old appeal of breaking rules was soon stirring deep within his chest once again. It something about doing something wrong that brought such a good thrill. A thrill that he had pursued regularly in the past couple of years.

"Where's Matt—mmphh!" Gilbert clapped one of his hands over Alfred's mouth in effort to silence him.

"Did you hear that?" he hissed. The only response he got was some garbled noises and a wet hand. More footsteps could be heard forever. "Shit. Not again," Gilbert cursed, turning to speed-walk as fast as he could down the hall. _Shit shit shit shit shitshitshitshit_ he thought in mantra, trying to get away from the noises that surely meant they were caught. Something told him that he wouldn't be able to get out of it as easy as Lovino did.

"_Personnel needed in room 152…_" a voice, scratchy from travelling through radio frequencies squawked.

"That's a girl's room," Alfred mumbled, pulling Gilbert's hand off of his mouth.

"And where are the girls' rooms?" Gilbert asked, dread filling his chest. Alfred scrunched up his face in a semi-guilty expression, pointing sheepishly in front of them. The rapid footsteps behind them were getting quickly closer and closer. "Oh shit…" Gilbert mumbled, only to be grabbed by Alfred and pulled forward.

"Run!" his companion said. "Heroes can't fail!" They ran aimlessly forward, but they were going to reach a dead end sooner or later. They were going to get caught. They were going to fail.

Suddenly, a door opened in front of them. A hand reached out from a dark room and pulled both of them inside, slamming the door behind them.

"What the—" Gilbert gasped, only to have a hand clasped over his mouth. He tried to see who had pulled them to safety, but the closet-like room they were in was too dark to much of anything.

They stayed silent for several minutes, listening to the rushing footsteps pass by.

"Hey!" Alfred finally said. "This is where me and Mattie sometimes hide…" his statement started out with his usual happy nervousness but dissolved into a more melancholy tone. Gilbert suddenly felt a face press into his arm, which was being clutched tighter than before.

"Hmm, yeah, I got the idea from you two, you know," the voice of their savoir said in a whisper. It was a feminine voice…a _very familiar_ feminine voice.

"Shhhggjskdfh!" Gilbert yelped, causing the hand on his mouth to be retracted in disgust. "Shit! Alfred we need to leave now! She's gonna—"

"Relax," the shadowed form of Elizabeta sighed. "Don't make so much noise, we're going to get caught!"

"What are you doing here?" Gilbert asked stiffly, still ready to make a run for it.

"I was trying to get into Roderich's office," Elizabeta simply said. "But it's locked, and I didn't have anything to bribe Peter with to help me so…" Gilbert had no idea who Peter was, and really didn't care.

"So, you're just lurching around looking for victims?" he finished.

"No!" Elizabeta snapped. "I'm helping you! Can't you see that?"

"For now," Gilbert added. "But it's only a matter of time until…"

Elizabeta huffed angrily. "What are _you_ doing here?" she asked.

"None of your business," Gilbert growled.

"Looking for Mattie!" Alfred whined, much to his companion's chagrin.

"Mattie?" Elizabeta asked, her voice softening. "Where's Mattie?"

"Gone," Alfred whimpered. Gilbert was becoming aware of wet warmth on his arm where Alfred's face was buried.

"You wanna go up to solitary?" Elizabeta asked calmly.

"What? Like you know the way!" Gilbert snipped, still skeptical.

"I may have followed my dear Roderich up there a couple times."

"What?"

"He may have needed protection!" Elizabeta exclaimed. "There are some dangerous people up there!"

"Like Mikkel?" Gilbert asked, because honestly it seemed like the guy wasn't so bad most of the time…

"Oh heavens no!" Elizabeta said. "Mikkel's really a big sweetie pie underneath…but there are some people…" Gilbert could feel her shudder next to him. "Let's just be careful, okay?" she finally said, her voice strangely kind. Gilbert just couldn't figure this girl out. She seemed like she honestly wanted to help, but then it could be a trap like the first time they met…

"What do you want, Elizabeta?" he finally asked. "Don't you dare try to hurt Alfred…" He just couldn't trust her.

"I don't want to hurt anybody, I just want to help!"

"Last time you wanted to 'help' me it involved trying to sprain my ankle…"

"I thought I apologized for that, you're the one who gave me a concussion!"

"Oh come on, you didn't even hit your head!"

"I did too! Tino gave me a band aid!"

"Probably just to shut you up!"

"Well—"

"Mattie!" Alfred whined, shaking a little as he gripped Gilbert tighter.

"Shh, poor baby…" Elizabeta cooed. "C'mere sweetie." She stumbled clumsily forward in the dark, arms outstretched. To Gilbert's horror, Alfred abandoned his arm and accepted Elizabeta's embrace.

"We have to save him!" he whimpered, his voice somewhat muffled.

"Alfred! No! That bitch's dangerous!" Gilbert snapped, severely uncomfortable with the situation. Elizabeta was going to hurt the poor kid, he just knew it.

"Relax, asshole!" Elizabeta snapped, before speaking to Alfred in a comforting voice, "Everything's going to be okay…"

"No it's _not_," Gilbert growled. "Let him go, psycho bit—"

"I'm only helping!" Elizabeta exclaimed. "What's _wrong_ with you?"

"No! You're not helping! You're plotting to hurt him!" Gilbert snapped. "You have ulterior motives!" He was steadily getting more and more agitated. He did not like Elizabeta touching Alfred. He did not like Elizabeta period. She was not good in any way. She had no reason to help them.

"Okay, fine," Elizabeta huffed. "I thought that if I helped you, you would tell Roderich and maybe…"

"I'm not telling Roderich about sneaking into the solitary after hours, stupid cu—"

"Well, duh," she growled, cutting him off. "If you just mention it to him that I was nice to _you_. I promise I'll help you get where you want to go."

"I don't trust you," Gilbert said. "Let him go."

"Will you stop freaking out?" Elizabeta shot back. "I won't do anything that's not warranted okay?"

"It's not okay! _You_ are not okay!" he snarled, feeling even more tense. He was beginning to frantically want out of the closet and away from _her_. "You're _evil_," he spat.

"I'm trying to help," Elizabeta growled. "Why won't you let me help?"

"Gilly…?" Alfred finally mumbled through his fresh batch of tears. "…please…?" He sounded so pitiful, and it was evident even in the dark that he was shaking pretty violently.

"Fine," Gilbert sighed in defeat. "But only because if I say no you'll probably alert the orderlies."

"Finally," Elizabeta huffed. "Promise you'll put a good word in with Roderich and I'll help you. Deal?" She tentatively held her hand out.

"Whatever," Gilbert grumbled, feeling around before he found her hand. They shook, and then crept out of the closet.

* * *

"So, who told you how to get to solitary?" Elizabeta whispered as they slowly walked down the hall. Much to Gilbert's chagrin, she still had a hold of Alfred, who was now softly crying into her shoulder. It made Gilbert wince every time she reached over with her other hand to pat his head in an attempt to be soothing.

"How do you know someone told us?" Gilbert answered stiffly.

"You're new," Elizabeta sniffed. "It's improbable that you would have figured out the best hour to sneak around already."

"What about Alfred? He's been here longer than me," Gilbert argued. Elizabeta just gave him a look.

"Really?" she said.

"Okay, we asked Lukas to help us," he sighed in defeat.

"Hmmm," Elizabeta murmured, looking like she was trying to recall something. "Yeah, I've seen him around at night once or twice."

"You sneak out often?" Gilbert asked.

"Duh," she sighed. "Gotta find adventure some way, seeing that I'm not allowed to do anything cool anymore."

"Like drinking?" Gilbert blurted out.

Elizabeta laughed darkly. "I was going to say street fighting, but whatever."

"What?"

"That's in the past, I'm a dignified lady now."

"Dignified…right…oof!" Gilbert rubbed his aching arm, returning Elizabeta's glare as she shook her fist at him.

"Shut it!" she snapped. "Did Lukas lend you his card too?"

"What card?"

"I'll take that as a no…" Elizabeta sighed, fishing around in her pants' pocket. Alfred whimpered as her movements jostled him a bit. "Sorry, baby…it's okay…" she cooed in apology. "Ah here it is!"

She held up what looked like an ID card. On it was a picture and name of a random, but hapless employee.

"She doesn't work here anymore," Elizabeta explained. "I got Peter to snatch it for me after they filed it away. It gets me access to all the places they lock with key cards."

"But not Roderich's office?" Gilbert asked.

"No," Elizabeta growled, pouting a bit. "Apparently, all the offices still use old fashioned metal keys. Unfortunately."

"Ah, okay,' Gilbert said, laughing a bit. "Who's Peter?"

"A klepto in the children's ward," Elizabeta said, bluntly. "He's kind of hard to get in contact with because of the different ward thing, but if you give him anything of Arthur's he'll provide you with whatever you need."

"Why Arthur?"

"Nobody knows. Word is that they're brothers," Elizabeta explained, shrugging. "Neither of them has confirmed that though. Honestly, I think Peter might use the stuff for voodoo or something creepy like that. They don't like each other very much…oh! Here we are!"

Suddenly, Gilbert realized that they were standing outside a door he had seen before. It was the one he had accidently come to on his second day that was marked "Authorized Personnel Only". It was where had the joy of meeting the raging bitch beside him for the first time. Ah memories…

"Honestly, I don't know what that guy was thinking; of course you can't get up there without a key card…" Elizabeta grumbled, bringing the card out to swipe in the slot next to the door. As she did so, Alfred wandered back over to Gilbert, enveloping him in a bone-crushing hug.

"…Mattie…" he whimpered, leaning on his leech victim slightly. He buried his face in Gilbert's chest, shaking slightly.

"Um…I…it's going to be okay?" Gilbert mumbled, confused with how to help the situation. Although he was relieved that Alfred had escaped from Elizabeta's clutches, new uncomfortable feelings replaced his previous ones.

"I don't know what to do…I don't…I don't…I…" Alfred babbled, shaking his head back and forth. His movements were starting to jostle Gilbert's entire body.

"We're almost there," Gilbert whispered, desperately looking towards Elizabeta. Wasn't she done yet? A soft beep answered his question.

"Come on! Quickly!" Elizabeta hissed. "Who knows when they'll get someone back on monitor checking duty!" She opened the heavy door as she said this, gesturing with her hand for them to come quickly. Gilbert followed her directions, getting a little excited as he thought of the mystery behind the door.

Click! The door shut as Elizabeta slipped in after him. For a couple moments, the three of them just stared at the shadowy stairs in front of them.

"Don't be afraid," Elizabeta said.

"I'm not," Gilbert shot back.

"I wasn't talking to you," Elizabeta snorted. "Alfie, are you okay?"

"No!" came the distressed answer.

"Do you want a hug—"

"I want Mattie!" _Could've seen that one coming_, Gilbert thought as he sighed loudly.

"Let's just get this over with," he said, beginning his ascent up the stairs.

"Yeah! Let's go!" Elizabeta cheered in a whisper. "But be quiet…let's not wake _certain people_ up!" The dangerous tone of her warning did not translate in her movements as she skipped up the stairs.

A long hallway awaited them. White tiles. White walls. White doors.

Each of the many doors on the walls that stretched out before them had a single, square window. None of the doors had key card slots near them.

Suddenly, Alfred detached from Gilbert and ran forward, desperately looking it each of the windows.

"Mattie…Mattie…Mattie…" he began to mumble. "Mattie…Mattiemattiemattie…" he frantically flitted to door after door, chanting as he did.

"Try to quiet Alfred!" Elizabeta warned. "We have to be careful!"

"MATTIE! I FOUND YOU!" Alfred screamed. "Please! WAKE UP! I'm HERE!" he started to pound rapidly on the door.

"Alfred! Stop!" Elizabeta growled, as both she and Gilbert rushed forward.

"Wait, NO! MATTIE!"

"Shhh!" Gilbert heard Elizabeta hiss as he stopped with her in front of the door. Tentatively, he allowed himself to peak through the small window. He could tell it was heavily reinforced, like the door surrounding it, just by looking at it. Small metal wires crisscrossed within the glass.

The room beyond the window was small and blindingly white. The walls were stuffed plastic, similar to wrestling mats. A figure was lying in the fetal position in the very corner of the room. The sterile hospital gown seemed to swallow him whole and his blonde hair was the only bit of color in a never ending sea of white.

"Matt…" Gilbert murmured as he gazed at his friend's sleeping form.

"LET ME IN!" Alfred sobbed, clawing at the metal door.

"I…I…can't…" Elizabeta whispered, looking disappointed in herself. In addition, she was furiously scanning the hall as if waiting for something to suddenly burst out of one of the doors.

"M-m-mattie…" Alfred whimpered, gasping as he sobbed. He sank to the ground in front of the door, pounding at the abused thing with his fists.

"Alfred…please be quiet…" Elizabeta whispered before adding, "I told Toris not to go near him…"

"What was that?" Gilbert asked, suspicious of his companion again.

"Don't worry I'll save you…"

"What!" Gilbert yelled.

Suddenly, as Alfred's wailing trailed off into quiet sobs another noise could be heard in its place. It sounded like…laughter? Or maybe more like chanting…

"_Kol. Kol. Kol. Kol. Kol kol kol kol kol__Kolkolkolkolkolkolkol..._" a terrifyingly childish voice echoed from one of the doors behind them.

Gilbert turned around to face the offending door, revolted by the disturbing mantra leaking out from its cracks.

"What—who the fuck is that?" he gasped.

Elizabeta didn't answer.

"_Kolkolkolkolkolkolkol..._"

"What is that?" Gilbert yelled at his companion.

"It's okay, I can protect you," Elizabeta finally answered, giving him a hard glance.

"NO YOU CAN'T!" he shouted in response. He was promptly ignored.

"Alfred let's leave…" Elizabeta said, eerily calm as she bent down to Alfred's level.

"_Kolkolkolkolkolkolkol_"

"NO!" Alfred sobbed, pounding at the door once more.

The rhythmic clang of metal and hands were echoed behind them though louder and stronger. The door rattled distressingly, groaning under the pressure.

Gilbert was filled with a terrible feeling of doom. The voice were really creeping him out. Nothing about this situation was safe or okay with him in any way.

_Boom. Boom. Boom._

"_Kolkolkolkolkolkolkol_..."

"Let's. Go. Now," he growled through teeth clenched in fear.

"NO!" Alfred screamed as Elizabeta grabbed onto his arm.

"___Kolkolkolkolkolkolkol..._"

Suddenly the mysterious, chanting voice was joined by another, higher pitched one.

"_Big brother…"_ it hissed. "_How can I serve you?_" The hollow voice drifted through the air like a hazy smoke. A sickening, scratching noise of fingernails scraping metal could suddenly be heard.

Elizabeta froze where she was kneeling, looking up at Gilbert with eyes full of fear. Apparently she found the noises just as distressing as Gilbert did.

"ComeonAlfrednow!" Gilbert burst out in a rush. Alfred still wouldn't budge, instead he started to grasp at the door handle to anchor himself against Elizabeta's attempts to drag him away.

"_Will you marry me now brother? Will you? Brother?_" the voice cackled. "_Marry me. Marry me. Marrymemarrymemarrymemarryme…_"

"I don't want to be here anymore!" Elizabeta yelled.

"_Marrymemarrymemarrymemarryme…_"

"_Kolkolkolkolkolkolkol_..."

"Alfred! We'll try again later, okay?" Gilbert said, trying to reason with the sobbing boy. He was now shivering with uneasiness, dread filling his entire being. "Let's go okay? Please? PLEASE?"

"_Marrymemarrymemarrymemarryme…_"

"___Kolkolkolkolkolkolkol..._"

"No-o-o-o-o…" Alfred cried.

"_Marrymemarrymemarrymemarryme…_"

"___Kolkolkolkolkolkolkol_..."

"Alfred…" Gilbert attempted to convince him again but was cut off by the low droning sound of the alarm. It repeatedly sounded on and off as the three of them stayed perfectly still, staring at each other in an awed stupor.

"We're saved," Elizabeta whispered.

* * *

Gilbert fidgeted slightly in his chair, trying to find a comfortable position. Nothing worked. It seemed that the uncomfortable feeling that had crept up on him the night before had nestled itself in his very being and nothing he could do would get rid of it.

Or, maybe it was just the setting he was in that was causing his troubled feelings.

After all, his companions didn't look like they were particularly enjoying themselves either.

To his left, Lovino was sitting with his arms crossed, pursing his lips in annoyance. His glare was periodically flashing towards the door where Antonio stood. Gilbert noticed the two of them share brief eye contact before Lovino huffed and looked away, rolling his eyes.

Alfred supposedly sat next to Lovino, but it was almost impossible to tell due the fact that the blonde was curled into himself into the smallest ball he could. Sniffles could be heard by everyone in the room.

Elizabeta sat on Gilbert's right and, like Lovino, had decided on a defensive stance. She slouched in her chair, gripping the metal arm rests in what seemed like a bone-crushing grip. She was staring ahead of her, her eyes boring right into her current and eternal target: Roderich Edelstein.

Said doctor was standing in front of his desk, looking disappointed and a little annoyed. But mostly disappointed. He had made that point very clear: that he was disappointed in them.

Next to Roderich was Dr. Braginskaya, who obviously didn't realize that crossing her arms made her monstrous cleavage even more disturbingly prominent. Next to her was Dr. Tino, who was apparently attempting to look authoritative or something close to it. Unfortunately, the combination of his short height and cute face downplayed the desired effect.

"Would someone be so kind to tell me why the four of you decided to sneak into a restricted area last night?" Roderich asked calmly.

Beside him, Gilbert noticed Elizabeta shudder slightly, sniffing just a little. Well, she _had_ helped him.

"Elizabeta didn't plan to help us…" Gilbert burst out. "Alfred and I were going and we convinced her…" Maybe he convince the doctors to take it easy on her.

"Don't lie!" Elizabeta snapped.

"What's your problem?" Gilbert asked angrily.

"It was all my idea," she simply said, ignoring him. "I wanted to help because I like helping people and…don't punish them too!"

Elizabeta was…protecting them? Why would she do that? Gilbert had assumed that she would have pushed the blame onto him in order to avoid Roderich's disappointment.

"I'll do anything to help my _friends_. Especially those that are close to _you_, Roderich," Elizabeta purred.

_Oh. Always trying to get on his good side I guess…_ Gilbert thought.

"What about you Lovino?" Roderich asked, obviously considering both Gilbert and Elizabeta dead ends. "Care to tell us what happened?"

"I don't know," Lovino answered. "Our toilet was clogged and no decided to fix it so went to find another I guess."

"In the solitary ward?" Dr. Roddy asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Sure," Lovino huffed, seemingly inspecting his fingernails. "Guess they didn't find one."

"Alfred," Dr. Braginskaya said softly. "You know the rules about solitary…can you tell me what solitary means?"

Gilbert remembered those same words from his overheard conversation with Matthew and his doctor almost a week ago.

"It was the whole night!" the Alfred-ball whined, quivering slightly. "Where's Mattie?"

"Matthew will be back after dinnertime at the earliest," Dr. Braginskaya answered.

"No!"

"Alfred…"

"No!"

"Look," Gilbert said loudly. "Whatever happened, Al didn't have any part in orchestrating it, I swear. Please, just let him go..."

"I thought so," Dr. Braginskaya said, nodding as she walked over to Alfred's chair, gently guiding him out the room. Carlos left his post next to Antonio to follow them out.

Roderich turned to his coworker once they were gone asking, "Well Dr. Väinämöinen, what do you think would be the course of action?"

"I think that maybe these three need a little time by themselves to think about their actions," Dr. Tino said, though his suggestion seemed a little hesitant.

"That seems fair," Roderich agreed.

"I think it would best if the three of you stay in your rooms for a while," Dr. Tino continued.

"You're putting us in time out?" Lovino asked snarkily.

"I think some quiet reflection would be beneficial." Tino appeared unfazed by Lovino's jibe. "How about we think about our actions and then meet at the usual time?"

Gilbert flinched slightly at the ever-prominent use of "we". It didn't help that he had forgotten that he had a meeting with Roddy scheduled for that afternoon.

"Can I meet with Roderich?" Elizabeta asked excitedly.

"Sorry…" Dr. Tino said softly.

"But—"

"I think it would be a good time for the three of you to return to your rooms now," Roderich said quickly, cutting Elizabeta's complaints off.

"We'll see you in a couple of hours," Tino said, smiling timidly.

"Okay, whatever," Lovino growled as he stood up. Elizabeta quickly rose, grumbling under her breath about the unfairness of her situation. Gilbert followed them to the door, not anticipating his "time out".

Antonio opened the door for them and followed closing behind as they left the office.

"Let's drop off Elizabeta first, then we'll go to…" he started, only to talked over by Lovino.

"We don't need a chaperone, thanks," he said dryly. "Gilbert doesn't get lost anymore."

"I'm afraid, given the circumstances, it is necessary for you to be supervised," Antonio answered in the most no-nonsense tone he could manage.

"Fine," Lovino sighed angrily.

* * *

"Lizzy! You're safe!" a voice called once they arrived at Elizabeta's room. The sign next to the door was marked _Room No. 152_. "I was so scared that you had disappeared again, like last night!"

Elizabeta's roommate, who Gilbert vaguely remembered to be named Mei, burst out of the room to hug her roommate affectionately.

"Don't worry me like that again!" she whined, pressing her hapless roommate against her pink-clad chest.

Antonio chuckled slightly as he watched the exchange. "Mei, you really should ask your friends before you hug them…" he reminded good-naturedly.

"It's okay," Elizabeta said softly, patting her roommate's head affectionately. "Sorry for worrying you Mei…" she sighed.

Gilbert was feeling more confused about Elizabeta then ever. He was so sure that she was evil…but she seemed so nice and caring with her anxious roommate. Atleast it explained why she put up with Alfred so easily the night before. But why did she even help them in the first place? After all, their adventure had ended up costing her a lot.

"Please stay in your room until one of the orderlies comes to get you," Antonio told her. "Checks will be in about ten minutes."

"Fine," Elizabeta grumbled.

"Try to think about the consequences your actions bring," Antonio added, gesturing to Mei, who was currently worrying over Elizabeta. The little Asian teen was currently straightening her roommate's jacket and picking near-invisible lint off her shoulders.

"I'm so glad you're alright…" she whispered as she fussed.

"Yeah…" Elizabeta mumbled, shuffling into her room, Mei following close behind. The door closed with a click.

"Shall we?" Antonio asked, smiling at the two charges remaining.

Neither of them said anything in the form of confirmation, but they turned down the hall anyway. They walked in silence for several moments. Well, Antonio seemed to be absently humming something, but other than that, it was pretty much silence. Gilbert busied himself by staring off into space and attempting to find anything interesting on the ceiling.

Suddenly, Lovino thought it would be a good idea to shatter the slightly uncomfortable silence to pieces. "What are you so happy about?" he snapped, turning towards a surprising looking Antonio.

"What?" said orderly asked.

"Aren't you supposed to be mad?" Lovino groused. "Or 'disappointed?'" He made sure to accompany the word "disappointed" with air quotes.

"Lovi, I don't think—"

"What? You don't think that you can tell me how you feel?" Lovino asked. "Am I not sane enough to speak to? I know you're angry with me!"

_Oh shit_… Gilbert really wasn't in the mood to witness another of Lovino's awkward argume—conversations with Antonio.

"Lovi, I'm not angry—"

"Yes you are!" Lovino yelled. "Do you think I'm stupid? Your stupid bastard mouth is doing that slight twitching thing that you always stupidly do when you're stupidly mad about something…"

"Lovi—"

"You're always like this! It's like you just want to forget that we knew each other!"

"That's not—"

"YES IT IS!"

"Lovino, would you like to speak with your doctor?" Antonio asked, trying to keep his face blank. Lovino was right though, one of the corners of his lips kept twitching up and down despite his efforts.

"Don't give me that crap…" Lovino grumbled, rushing forward. "Fucking bastard."

Gilbert was never so glad to see the door to his tiny, sterile room. Maybe if they kept going he could pretend that he needed to go to the bathroom. Surely that stupid romance novel had been fished out of the toilet by now. But hopefully Antonio would just leave and…

Unfortunately for him, Antonio followed as he entered the room.

"Please stay in your room," he said quietly. "I'll get you when it's time for your appointment."

"Uh, I'm gonna go to the bathroom…" Gilbert mumbled.

"Thanks for letting us know," Lovino snapped.

"That's fine," Antonio reassured him quietly.

As Gilbert shut the bathroom door, he once again began to curse the thin hospital walls.

"You going to say anything?" he heard Lovino's voice ask.

"No," Antonio replied.

"Just no? Just NO?"

"Please calm down…"

"NO!" Lovino yelled. "How does that answer suffice?"

"Please don't do this Lovino, you know…"

"What? What do I know?"

"You know that this is my job!" Antonio said. "And you are a patient! I can't do _this_ with you!"

"…what?"

"This is my workplace. I can't tell _patients_ my personal feelings. It's not appropriate."

"Well _sorry_ for being a _patient_."

"You know I didn't mean it like that…"

"I already knew that I'm the one that fucked everything we had up. You don't have to make it any more clear."

"Lovino, don't…" Antonio's voice started to waver in a way that sounded strangely like he was holding back tears. "I can't deal with this right now…"

"Ooh, sorry that _dealing_ with me upsets you."

"I just want to help you!" Antonio said, finally raising his voice. "B-but you make it so difficult!"

"Yeah, I bet it's difficult for _you_."

"Just try a little! We're trying to help and you…"

"I what?" Lovino's voice started to sound a lot less angry.

"Breaking hospital rules and wandering around at night won't get you anywhere, Lovi."

"What?"

"You wanted to know what I felt."

While sitting on the closed toilet, long done with his business, Gilbert inwardly winced. He really wished he didn't have to hear any of this. It was so embarrassing—

_Knock knock_.

"Gilbert? Are you okay in there?" Antonio's voice called through the door. _Speaking of embarrassing._ Gilbert responded by quickly opening the door.

"I'm fine," he mumbled, as he attempted to casually walk across the room and "look for something" in the armoire.

"Oh okay, then…" Antonio said, suddenly looking kind of uncomfortable. "I'll see you in a couple of hours."

With that, he quickly left down the hall. Lovino grunted angrily and stomped over to the door, slamming it as hard as he could. Gilbert watched him as he marched over to his bed and sat down in a huff.

"Um…Lovino? Are you okay?" Gilbert asked awkwardly, attempting to help the situation.

"Shut up!" Lovino snapped. "J-just shut up… B-bastard…"

"Really?" Gilbert asked, kind of ticked about being yelled at. "What the hell is going on between you two?"

"That's none of your business!" Lovino growled.

"What the hell dude?" Gilbert yelled. "You just argued with him in front of me for like ten minutes!"

Lovino gripped the blankets angrily, his face coloring with rage. "So what! We would be arguing if it wasn't for _your_ stupid plan! This is all your fault! Everything's all fucked up for me and Elizabeta and Alfred all because _you_ had to…"

"Shut up!" Gilbert spat. "You want to be angry at me for trying to do something for someone else for once? So I fucked up again? I really don't need you rubbing it in my face, thanks!" He walked away towards his own bed, turning his back on his roommate. "Blame me for your fucked up relationship if you want to, I don't care."

How could Lovino blame him for everything? It made his failure so much worse. It didn't help that for some reason, he never thought Lovino would betray him in such a way. Sure, he always had a bite in his comments but Gilbert didn't think that he would ever _meant_ the things he said and now he was sure he hated him because he was an awful person and…

"N-no…please don't be mad…I didn't mean it!" Lovino called. "Please don't be mad at me too!" He let out a shuddering breath that sound suspiciously like a sob.

Gilbert turned back towards him and was met with a sight of a very upset Lovino. Tears were running down his red cheeks as he breathed shakily in and out.

"I…don't cry! I shouldn't have said that, don't feel bad…I don't know…" Gilbert sputtered out, disturbed by the scene in front of him.

"I messed everything up!" Lovino cried. "W-we could've been…we could've been…but I…I ruined everything…"

Gilbert had the feeling that Lovino was not long talking about their relationship as roommates anymore. It sounded a lot more like Antonio than him… "Lovino…I don't think that's true…"

"Shut up! Just shut up!" his roommate snapped. "It is! It is… I ruin every relationship I'm in. I've even fucked up this one now…" He brought his hands up to cover his eyes as he shook his head sadly.

"Now, that's just ridiculous," Gilbert said. "We were fucked from the beginning." He walked over and sat next to his roommate on the bed.

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" Lovino asked, but his voice had lost most of its bite.

"Don't know. I fail at almost everything I do, including comforting people."

"Don't say that," Lovino said, though he still sounded upset and teary. "Besides, you're not doing too horrible right now."

"Thanks…I guess…" Gilbert mumbled. "Are you okay now?"

"No. Maybe. I don't know," Lovino answered glumly. "We're still stuck in 'time out' and all I really want to do is take a nap…forever."

"Maybe we should do something to pass the time?" Lovino didn't answer, but he picked up the spiral bound note book from beside his bed and a red felt-tipped marker. He slowly drew a series of dashes across the paper and added a crudely drawn gallows.

"Is there a u?" Gilbert asked when he was finished. Lovino wordlessly wrote a 'U' at the start of the first word and in the second slot of the second."  
"Is it 'Uncle Fucker?'" Gilbert asked.

"How did you get it so fast?"

"I'm pretty sure you called Carlos one this morning."

"Oh, I did, didn't I?"

"Yeah, yeah you did."

* * *

Author fun time: Again, sorry for the lateness, I feel so bad **Important:** if you ever wonder what's up with the updating or lack thereof, go to my profile! I post about what's going on and when I think the next chapter will be out!

Thanks for sticking with me and motivating me with reviews asking for updates. Seriously guys, bother me when I'm late! Make me feel guilty…it motivates me.


	12. Chapter 12

Author's note: OMG I'M FINALLY BACK. You might want to read the chapter before this one before you read this, because if you were following me closely before my disappearance off the face of the earth, you probably read that chapter several months ago. There are references in this chapter to other chapters (mostly chapter 11 though) so read/skim through chap. 11 okay? Explanations and begging for forgiveness is at the end.

* * *

"How about Golden Temptress?"

"How about not."

"Okay, does_ Passion's Treasure _sound good?"

"No."

"What about…" Lovino, who apparently couldn't keep saying the book titles with a straight face anymore, began to snicker, "…_Awaken My Fire_?"

"Oh hell no," Gilbert sighed, laying back down on his bed. "Don't you have any decent books?"

"Just give up already," Lovino said, rolling his eyes. "We could be playing hangman right now…"

"I'm not playing anymore hangman. Haven't you run out of inappropriate phrases yet?" Gilbert said. An hour's worth of that game had been enough. "You have at least one that's not so terribly…uh…"

"Cheesy and absolutely fucking stupid?" Lovino finished. "Nope."

"Oh come on…"

"I _asked_ for Hemingway once but nooo…" Lovino complained. "They were all like: 'Lovi, I don't think those are good books to be reading right now!'"

"Cool story, bro," Gilbert sighed, only to be ignored by his ranting roommate.

"'There's too much graphic violence!'" Lovino continued, mimicking the mysterious "they" in a high-pitched, whiny voice. "'It's for the best, Lovi, we swear!'"

Thunk! The door loudly fell closed. Judging from Antonio's face, he had been standing in the doorway long enough to hear the tail end of Lovino's rant.

"Wow, uh… Didn't even hear you knock…" Gilbert mumbled, coughing nervously. Hopefully, he wouldn't have to witness another awkward lover's quarrel. Of course he could always go hide in the bathroom again, but that might be a little too suspicious.

"It's lunch time," Antonio said blankly.

"So…are we going to the cafeteria?" Gilbert asked slowly.

"No, dipshit. We're in timeout, remember?" Lovino grumbled.

"We brought you your meal," Antonio explained as a nurse brought in two trays of food. She placed them on the bedside table before going back to the doorway to retrieve two folding tables. Gilbert wondered briefly why Antonio wasn't helping her, but then realized that said orderly was trying to have a silent conversation with his roommate at the moment. Lovino, on the other hand, was pointedly looking away.

The nurse finished setting up the trays on the tables. With a nod to Antonio, she left the room, promising to be back soon to collect the trays and dishes.

The two roommates ate in silence for several minutes. After awhile, Gilbert just started rolling random bits of food around on his plate. Macaroni salad had never been so interesting…

"Lovi…" Antonio finally mumbled, not moving from his place by the door.

"What?" Lovino grumbled, picking at his food. "I'm going to eat it, don't worry."

"No that wasn't what…" Antonio started to speak, but suddenly stopped, watching sullenly as Lovino continued to look away from him. "Nothing," he sighed.

"Good," Lovino snapped.

"I'll be back when it's time for you to see Dr. Edelstein," Antonio said quietly, quickly vacating the room.

The quiet click of the door was followed by several minutes of silence until…

"Fuck!" Lovino suddenly yelled, grabbing the nearest portable object and chucking it across the room.

Gilbert ducked to dodge the flying projectile—which happened to be one of Lovino's crappy novels—and through his arms over his head protectively. There was no way he was going to get _another_ black eye in this place.

"Hey! Watch it!" he growled.

"Fuck you!" Lovino yelled, looking as if he was going to throw something else any minute. Thankfully, he refrained from any further destructive activity. "Why does he have to be such an idiot!" he said out loud. "Stupid fucking tomato bastard…"

"Um…" Gilbert mumbled, not sure of what to say. He was still expecting another object to come flying at his head.

"Sorry…did I hurt you?" Lovino answered quickly, worry and anxiety lacing his voice. Gilbert recognized the tone from the conversation they had only a couple hours ago.

"Just scared the crap out of me, that's all," he said, shrugging to appear nonchalant. He didn't want his roommate to start crying again.

"Are you sure. I'm sorry…really…" Lovino pressed on. "I'm always fucking stuff up…and I could've broken your nose and…."

"Dude, a psycho Dane already tried to do that and failed, I doubt that you would have the strength to take down this nose of awesome," Gilbert boasted. Hopefully, his roommate wouldn't take it as a challenge and throw another book.  
"Yeah I guess…" Lovino mumbled.

"Look on the bright side," Gilbert joked. "You could be having a lovers' quarrel with someone like Mikkel!"

"I was not having a lovers' quarrel!" Lovino growled. "Antonio and I are _not_ lovers!"

"Sure."

"We are NOT."

"Okay, okay," Gilbert conceded. "Look at the bright side: you could be having a lovers' quarrel with Francis." Even with the threat of physical harm, teasing his roommate was too hard to give up.

"We are NOT LOVERS!" Lovino screeched, the joke obviously lost on him. To Gilbert's relief, Lovino seemed to have recovered his usual, easily irritated attitude instead of his previous, book-throwing state.

"Sorry, you're just too funny not to bug," he said in mock apology. "But I guess it could be worse. At least you're stuck here with me and not Francis."

"This isn't much better," Lovino grumbled, lying slightly down on his bed. "Now why don't you put a sock in it? I'm going to take a nap."

"What am I supposed to do while you do that?" Gilbert moaned. "It's boring here!" He didn't really feel like being left alone in the room at the moment—even though his roommate was still going to be there, albeit asleep.

"I don't know, read the book that almost hit your empty head. I don't care," Lovino said, rolling over to ignore Gilbert.

"Fine then," Gilbert mumbled, gingerly picking up the literary atrocity.

* * *

Sometime after Lovino had fallen asleep, a nurse entered the room after quietly knocking on the door. She quickly began to remove Gilbert's lunch dishes while humming a cheery tune that dripped with sugary sweetness.

"How are you doing, Hun?" she asked, turning towards Gilbert so he could behold her mauve scrubs in all their glory.

"Kinda shitty," he mumbled.

"Oh, Sugar, are we having a bad day?" she said sympathetically. "Be sure to watch that mouth of yours though!" she added, her voice going a bit higher as if trying to be cute.

Gilbert sighed loudly; her demeanor was making him slightly nauseous. He definitely didn't like being called _Sugar_.

"I guess…" he said quietly. If you call epically failing at helping someone, getting in trouble and listening to your moody roommate fight with his wannabe lover simply 'bad'.

"What'cha readin'?" she inquired, obviously trying to get some kind of conversation out of him.

"Um…" Gilbert tried to answer, turning the book so he could actually read the cover. "_Defiant Angel_, apparently…"

"Ooh, that's a good one, isn't it?"

"No. It sucks," he answered bluntly.

"Aren't we a little grumpy?" she said, chuckling a little.

"I'm stuck in my room with a book called _Defiant Angel_ as my only entertainment," Gilbert finally snapped.

"Let's use our inside voices," the nurse said, now with a bit of force. "We don't want to wake your roommate, now do we?"

Gilbert just stared at her for a few moments. She didn't look at happy or cheerful as she did when she entered the room. _Great, now she's pissed at me too,_ he thought.

"Yeah sure," he finally mumbled.

"That's better," she said, smiling a little. She finished her the last of her clean up duties and began to leave the room. "Just try to make the best of your situation, okay?"

"You me this 'stuck in my room with only shitty literature' or…" he started to ask, but was only met with the soft click of the door. _Or my life at the moment…?_

"Fuck," he grumbled, picking up his book once more. "Fuck."

* * *

"Gilbert…"

"…"

"Gilbert?"

"…"

"Gilbert!"

"What?" Gilbert yelled, sitting up straight in bed. _Defiant Angel_ slid down off his face and into his lap, landing with a semi-painful thump. "Oof!" he groaned.

"It's time for your meeting with Dr. Edelstein," Antonio explained. Gilbert quickly realized the orderly was not only kneeling next to his bed, but was also _way_ too close to his face. Also, he had apparently fallen asleep while trying to schlep through the horrendously flowery word choice that he was forced to use as entertainment.

"Okay, okay," he grumbled. "Now, can you give me some room?"

"Sure," Antonio chirped, backing away and standing up from his crouched position.

"Can't Lovino go first?" Gilbert groaned, still trying to shake off the sleepy post-nap feeling he was experiencing.

"Lovino usually meets with Dr. Edelstein in the mornings, so he had to be rescheduled," Antonio explained. "The only open slot was after your usual time, which is now, by the way, so don't dawdle too much!"

"Do you see me 'dawdling'?" Gilbert snapped, throwing himself out of bed. Unfortunately, the violent movement caused him to lurch forward unexpectedly. "Shit! Fuck!" he swore loudly as he attempted to regain his balance by whirling his arms, almost hitting Antonio in the face as he did so.

"Whoa, careful there, buddy," Antonio said, reaching out to stead him.

"I'm fine," Gilbert grumbled, flinching away. He didn't really feel like being touched by anyone. Hell, he didn't even really want to interact with anyone. After all, today was just another example of how he was a failure and so far, every human encounter he had was serving as another reminder of that fact. He had even made _Lovino _cry earlier for fuck's sakes!

"Are you sure you're okay?" Antonio asked. He looked like he was ready to jump to Gilbert's side at any moment. Probably wanted to lead him by the elbow again too. Figures.

"What did I just say?" Gilbert responded.

"Are you okay?" Antonio asked again, with more force. Of course, with all his experience with Lovino, he probably was the master of not taking bullshit from patients.

"Do I still have to talk to Roddy?" Gilbert asked, too much in a bad mood to spare anyone's feelings.

"Of course."

"Then no, I am not okay," he finished.

"Gilbert, are you going to cooperate with me or not?" Antonio asked in a no-nonsense tone, all smiles gone. Gilbert could see that the distance between them was getting steadily smaller.

"I'll go talk to Roddy," he huffed. "But I don't want to and I'm not going to like it," he added as a final touch of defiance. He couldn't be (all the way) defeated!

"Well, let's go then," Antonio said quietly, gesturing to Gilbert to walk ahead of him out the door. Gilbert did what he was told, shuffling along while muttering defiant phrases under his breath.

It seemed like the walk to Roddy's office spread on for miles and miles. Gilbert eventually fell behind Antonio, purposely dragging in order to delay the inevitable. He sighed loudly: an effort meant to break the silence just as much as it was meant to show how much he wasn't enjoying himself.

"Don't be too upset, Gilbert," Antonio said, looking slightly behind him. His voice was more sympathetic than the earlier stern tone. "I'm sure Dr. Edelstein won't be _too_ hard on you," he said with a hint of humor. Gilbert didn't respond, still too focused on sulking.

"I'm just joking, Buddy," Antonio hastily corrected. "You know, no one here is mad at you…" His steps faltered a little and he began to slow down, obviously contemplating whether or not to attempt to have a 'deep' conversation.

"I know," Gilbert growled. "Just _disappointed_."

"Hmm, you got it, I guess," Antonio said, a bit quietly. He continued walking, apparently finally getting the gist that Gilbert did not want to talk. Gilbert, however was still wondering how Antonio had missed that in the first place. The orderly must have some stubborn urge to help people. Either that or he was just oblivious.

After another eternity of awkward silence, the pair finally arrived at the psychiatrists' offices.

As soon as he walked into the waiting area, Gilbert found himself more uncomfortable than ever. He had been dreading this meeting since the morning. After all that had happened the night before, the last thing he wanted to do was talk about his failure and how much he was a disappointment with someone. Especially with Roddy. He stopped in his tracks as soon as he crossed the threshold of the doorway, suddenly contemplating the pros and cons of trying to make a run for it.

"Why can't I talk to Roderich instead?" an angry voice suddenly broke Gilbert's train of thought. Standing in front of him was an agitated looking Elizabeta. Next to her was a slightly frazzled Dr. Tino.

"Because _I_ am your doctor, Elizabeta," he said in a surprisingly firm voice. Gilbert had no idea that the little doctor even had a stern bone in his body.

"_No_," Elizabeta growled. "Roderich is. I want to see him."

"Come on, now," Tino replied. "We've been through this before…" Elizabeta only crossed her arms over her chest to emphasize her resistance.

"I might have some salmiakki in my desk if you…"

"Ew, no!" Elizabeta quickly responded. Gilbert wasn't sure if she seriously disliked the mysterious food (he assumed it was a food) or if her reaction was purely an effort to be disagreeable.

"Elizabeta…" Tino warned, his tone darkening slightly. "I think we should go talk about this in my office."

"I _told _you," Elizabeta growled. "I don't want to talk with _you_, I want _Roderich_." With that, she turned around in a huff, seemingly going for the exit. Upon doing so, however, she came face to face with Gilbert, who suddenly felt very, very awkward. And a little scared. No, scratch that. He wasn't scared. Not of Elizabeta. No way.

"Um, hi?" he said, as if asking a question. He hated how his voice somehow managed to wobble during that short phrase. Because he was not scared at all. No, not at all.

"Oh hi, Gilly!" Elizabeta chirped, a smile spreading on her face. The sinister grin reminded Gilbert of their first meeting. "Wanna trade?" she asked.

"What?" Gilbert asked, confused again at her behavior.

"Let's trade doctors, 'kay?" Elizabeta said, smiling even more.

"Sure," Gilbert conceded, not in the mood to fight about it. He didn't really want to talk to his doctor at the moment and Tino looked like he was more agreeable than Roderich anyway. Maybe that salmiakki was worth trying too…

"Absolutely not, Elizabeta," Dr. Tino said from behind them.

"But he said I could!" Elizabeta growled, whirling around to face her doctor. Her posture instantly became aggressive once more. "Don't come in between me and…" Suddenly, her whole demeanor changed once again. "Roderich!"

Said doctor, who had apparently just come out of his office, stood unfazed by the scene, perfectly poised as usual.

"Gilbert, it's time for your appointment isn't it?" he simply said, ignoring Elizabeta completely.

"No! We traded! You're with me now!" Elizabeta yelled.

"I'm afraid it doesn't work that way, Elizabeta," Roderich said quietly. "Now, Gilbert…"

"It's not fair!" Elizabeta said through clenched teeth. She was obviously holding in her rage, trying to appear well-behaved in front of the object of her obsession.

"Come on, Elizabeta, let's go," Tino instructed quietly, his voice back to the soft sugary sweet tone. When his patient declined to respond, however, he added, "Or do we need Berwald to help you?"

Gilbert almost jumped when said orderly just about appeared out of the woodwork. Despite the fact that he was not scared of anyone. Not even big, hulking, eerily silent, angry faced…

"Gilbert?" Roderich asked again. "Are you ready for your session?" Gilbert was suddenly aware that he was on his way to earning his own special orderly escort.

"Er, I guess…" he mumbled, moving forward towards his doctor.

"Wait no!" Elizabeta cried. "You said I could!"

"That wasn't his decision," Tino reprimanded, emphasizing his statement by giving Gilbert a look.

"…sorry…" Gilbert mumbled as passed through Roderich's office door, disregarding the fact that Tino probably couldn't hear him.

"Take a seat, please," Roderich said, shutting the door behind Gilbert. He gestured towards the usual chair in front of his desk as he did so. As if Gilbert had forgotten where to sit.

"Fine," Gilbert grumbled, slumping in his chair.

"How are you doing, Gilbert?" Roderich asked as he sat in his own chair.

"Bad," Gilbert mumbled.

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"No, you're not," Gilbert snapped.

"Gilbert, you know that's not true," Roderich said quickly.

"No, I don't! I did something wrong and you're…" Gilbert tried to explain, unaware that his voice was getting steadily louder.

"I'm what?" Roderich prompted.

"You're mad at me!" Gilbert yelled.

"No, I'm not angry with you, I'm…"

"Just 'disappointed'?" Gilbert finished for him. "You think I don't _know_ what 'disappointed' means? You think Ludwig hasn't ever told me that he's 'disappointed'? You're not disappointed, he's not disappointed, no body's disappointed! I do bad things! I fuck up! You're pissed! People aren't 'disappointed' in you unless you're so fucked up and crazy that they think they can't tell you that their mad!"

"'Disappointed'," he hissed, leaning forward to slam his hands on Roderich's desk, "Is therapist speech for pissed as hell. Don't baby me!"

Roderich was silent for several moments.

"What I was going to say," he finally said, "Is that: while I'm not angry at _you_, your actions are the problem. You are not bad, Gilbert, but your behavior was."

"Whatever," Gilbert grumbled slouching back down. He didn't really see that big of a difference.

"Did you think over what happened last night?" Roderich asked quietly.

"You mean when I was in time out?"

"I suppose so, if you want to call it that," Roderich sighed. "But, when you were there, did you think about last night? How do you feel about your behavior in hindsight?"

"That it was fucking stupid," Gilbert grumbled.

"And why do you think that?" his doctor asked, apparently ignoring Gilbert's foul language for once.

"Because it didn't work and it just made things worse."

"Gilbert, I know you were only trying to help Alfred," Roderich said, looking sympathetic.

"That doesn't mean much, doc," Gilbert said darkly.

"Looking back, do you think it would have been better to go about solving the problem differently?"

"Maybe," Gilbert mumbled.

"What would you have done differently?"

"Not what I did."

"Would you have maybe comforted Alfred by offering a shoulder to cry on or trying to speak with him?" Roderich asked.

"I guess so, that's what a normal person would have done, wouldn't it?"

"You can't compare yourself to an ideal of a 'normal person' like that, Gilbert. This is the time for self reflection," Roderich explained. "You have to think about yourself and what _you_ did and what _you_ think would be a better option. Don't hold yourself to a made-up standard."

"It's not made-up! I'm talking about normal, sane people! Not people who are locked up in the Looney Bin playing _Saving Private Ryan_!" Gilbert yelled. He probably didn't have much time before Antonio would start knocking on the door from all the noise. "What would _you_ have done in that situation, Roddy? Huh?"

"Everyone makes mistakes, Gilbert," Roderich said. "Even people who you would call 'normal'. Even when you have the best intentions, things don't always work out the way you hoped."

"Nobody fucks up as bad as this though!" Gilbert yelled, suddenly feeling like he was about to cry. Nothing about this conversation was making him feel better, only worse. He wasn't like everyone else who makes mistakes sometimes, he was always fucking up. How could Roddy understand?

"Well, you could be telling your ex-wife that you can't help her anymore because it's only making it worse," Roderich stated off-handily.

"Yeah, like that happened to anyone," Gilbert growled.

"Hmm, yes," Roderich said, clearly his throat rather loudly. "But what I'm saying is, sometimes things happen and—"

"Shit happens I know that!" Gilbert found himself yelling again. "But why is it always me who messes up? Sure, 'everyone does' and all that bullshit. But it happens to me ALL THE TIME!"

"Why do you think that is?" Roderich asked.

"I don't know," Gilbert hissed. "Maybe because I'm a whack-job?"

"Please don't refer to yourself in such a way, Gilbert," Roderich said quietly. "Let's think, why did you choose to help Alfred in the way you did?"

"I didn't help him, I made it worse," Gilbert grumbled.

"What I mean is," Roderich clarified, "Why did breaking hospital rules sound better to you than any other way to help?"

"I don't know," Gilbert grumbled. "I didn't think about any other options at the time. No one seemed to."

"So, you're saying that you didn't think before you acted in this situation?" Roderich asked.

"No, I guess not," Gilbert said quietly.

"Do you find that this happens often?" his doctor pressed further.

"Maybe," Gilbert mumbled. "I kinda just do stuff and then regret it later."

"What kind of 'stuff' are you referring to, Gilbert?" Roderich asked.

Gilbert sighed loudly as he thought about the answer to that question. "Uh…lots of different stuff…"

"Yes…" Roderich nodded, looking eagerly at him to continue.

"Er, sometimes I'll get tired with the job I'm at and just quit—if I'm not fired first, that is," Gilbert mumbled, suddenly feeling ashamed. "And I dropped out of school just because I felt like it."

"Do you usually make big decisions like that on a whim?" Roderich asked. "Do ever think about the potential consequences?"

"No, not usually," Gilbert mumbled, surprised that his doctor was getting him to talk. He didn't understand how discussing his multitude of bad choices was helping anything. Regardless, he continued to try to explain, "It's like I'll be doing something, and in the time it takes me to sneeze I'll become bored of it or think there's something better to do." He sighed again, "And it's not always big stuff either. Kind of like what happened yesterday, I just do crazy shit that I think will make things better, even though they always make things worse."

"Care to elaborate?" Roderich asked, probably wondering what 'crazy shit' Gilbert was referring to but not knowing how to phrase it in a proper manner.

Gilbert said nothing for several moments, wondering if he should even tell his doctor.

"We don't have to talk about anything you aren't comfortable with, Gilbert," Roderich added, apparently taking his patient's silence as a sign of not wanting to talk.

"You're stuffy and annoyingly proper!" Gilbert blurted out.

"Excuse me?" Roderich asked, looking a bit confused.

"But I still don't want you to think…" Gilbert continued nervously, trailing off in silence once more.

"Regardless of what we speak about here, I won't think any less of you," Roderich said softly. "Whatever mistakes you have made, you are a good person, Gilbert, I assure you."

"Okay," Gilbert sighed, though the doctor's words did little to assure him as far as his status as a human, they did ready him somehow to continue forward in the discussion.

"Okay?" Roderich echoed.

"The stuff I usually do always seem like good ideas," Gilbert muttered, feeling kind of stupid for buying into his own ridiculous escapades. "Like, 'let's get drunk tonight,' or, 'I'm going to try this illegal substance' and 'they look like a good enough lay'. I just kind of do those kinds of things without thinking about it." His volume trailed off at the end as he felt more uncomfortable admitting his past behavior. He had never told anyone the _full_ extent of his antics. Not even West knew everything.

"Do you think these activities will improve anything?" Roderich asked quietly. Gilbert thought about the question for a couple moments.

"Yes, wait-no…I…I don't know, but I guess I'm always trying to fix something," he finally said slowly. "It doesn't even have to be a real problem. Like, yesterday I was trying to help Alfred so I did something bad, but usually I try to make myself feel better when everything feels er…wrong…and then I do something bad."

"So you know that what you're doing is destructive behavior, but you believe that it will help somehow?" Roderich clarified. "You think that these activities will alleviate unwanted emotions?"

"Yeah, and it's almost because…I don't know…" Gilbert tried to explain, but trailed off.

"What is it, Gilbert?" Roderich asked, looking hopeful again.

"That I like doing things that are 'destructive' because they're, you know, bad. It's the thrill, you know?" Gilbert said guiltily.

"That makes sense," Roderich said softly, nodding a bit. "But you realize that these kinds of activities are dangerous. It's a wonder how you have gotten off scot-free as long as you have."

"Yeah…" Gilbert mumbled, hanging his head. "I just don't know why I do stuff that's so stupid. All I do is fuck stuff up for other people."

"It does seem that your impulsive behavior—both in making long term decisions on a whim and engaging in dangerous activities without thinking—has been causing problems," Roderich stated. "But not only for other people, but yourself. Every one of your actions that we discussed today ended up hurting _you_."

"That doesn't matter as much as other people," Gilbert said quietly. "I should be able to live with the consequences of the stupid shit I do."

"No, it matters just the same," Roderich corrected. "You are suffering from your own actions, yes, but you are also suffering from a disorder. Your behavior needs to change, but that doesn't mean you are in any way a bad person. I can't stress that enough."

"Whatever, Doc," Gilbert sighed, not really believing him.

"Alright Gilbert…." Roderich said in a quiet sigh that indicated the session was over. "We'll talk about this again. I think we should work on strategies for making good decisions."

"Sure," Gilbert grunted. The session didn't seem to go anywhere, and he kind of felt his doctor was giving up on him.

"In the meantime, continue to think about your actions last night and how you felt when your plans didn't work. Next time you feel like breaking rules, try to remember how you feel now."

"Shitty…" Gilbert whispered, almost to himself.

"But please know that you are not in trouble, and you are now free to leave your room if you wish," Roderich added. "You made a mistake in judgment, and I forgive you for that."

"Okay, thanks Doc," Gilbert said, still rather quiet. "Er, but Roddy?"

"Yes Gilbert?"

"You didn't call and tell West about this did you?" _I'm in such deep shit if you did…_

* * *

"Stupid, pansy-ass, stuck up, stick-his-ass, pompous, piece of shit…"

Gilbert looked up from _Defiant Angel _as he heard the loud muttering in the doorway of his room.

"How was your meeting, Lovi?" he asked nonchalantly, pretending he had actually read more than a sentence of the book while his roommate was at his appointment.

"Fuck. You."

"That fun huh?"

"Oh yeah, I love being talked to about my 'lack of willingness to cooperate'," Lovino snapped, falling onto his bed. "And with that stupid…tomato bastard…Right outside too. Stupid, fucking, dick-sucking…"

"What was that?" Gilbert asked, questioning the last adjective.

"Why aren't you in the common room or something?" Lovino snapped.

"Don't feel like it," Gilbert answered moodily.

"What, are you afraid of Arthur, the mother hen from hell?" Lovino asked. "He's a pussy, Gilbert. A pussy."

"Why did you come back to the room?" Gilbert asked, trying to shift the conversation.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Lovino yelled.

"Er, checks?" a voice called from the doorway.

"For fuck's sakes, really?" Lovino screeched when he turned to look at the newly arrived Antonio.

"Is everything alright in here?" Antonio asked.

"Yes!" Lovino said loudly before Gilbert could reply with any other answer.

"Well, um, Dora's on, if you want to watch…" Antonio said quietly. Gilbert was staring to get sick of melancholy Antonio. Who would have known that he would ever miss that obnoxious smiling face?

"Stupidest show ever," Lovino grumbled.

"Okay then," Antonio said. "But dinner's in about a half an hour. Also…I'm sorry."

"What?" Lovino snapped.

"I miss you, I really do," the orderly mumbled before leaving.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Lovino asked under his breath. Gilbert just continued to try to read his stupid book, now that the room was finally silent again.

"Come on, asswipe, let's go," Lovino suddenly ordered.

"What, why?" Gilbert asked, dropping the book down unceremoniously.

"Dora's on," Lovino simply stated, turning towards the door.

"But I thought it was the stupidest show ever?"

"Yeah, well, it teaches me Spanish, whatever."

"I hope you know more Spanish than a cartoon can teach, you know with your Spanish lover and all—"

Lovino whirled around angrily. "Just shut your mouth and nod your head when I tell Antonio it was your idea."

"Okay, okay," Gilbert sighed. "Wait…what?"

"Hurry up," Lovino grumbled, storming forward towards the common room.

As soon as the pair reached their destination, Lovino slowed down his pace and started shuffling towards the couch in front of the TV. The change in speed was so sudden, Gilbert found himself running into his roommate's back.

"Watch it, dumbass," Lovino snapped, shoving him backwards.

"What gives?" Gilbert asked, slightly irritated. "Just go over there already!"

"I will do what I want to do when I want to do it!" Lovino growled.

"Yeah, cool, do it now," Gilbert quipped. "I'm not going to stand here awkwardly all day. Someone's going to check to see if we're okay any minute."

"Oh _please_," Lovino returned. "What? Do we look lost and confused or something? No! No body's going to bother us while I muster up the cour—"

"Is everything okay over here?" Antonio asked, walking over from the couch.

"Damn it, Bastardo, go sit down!" Lovino yelled.

"Um, excuse me?" Antonio asked, looking a little confused. Gilbert thought the orderly would be better at hiding confusion by now. Oh well.

"_Gilbert _wants to watch Dora," Lovino explained.

"Um, yes!" Gilbert added, nodding vigorously, but probably not convincingly.

"Dipshit! I told you just to nod!" Lovino hissed.

"Um, Lovino…"

"Shut up you!" Lovino growled. "Anyway, Antonio you can go back to watching Dora while Gilbert and I stand here for a while. _Gilbert_ has a problem that we need to discuss."

"No, I think we can go now," Gilbert corrected. Stupid Lovino was going to get him put on some kind of danger list with that kind of talk.

"Um, no, I think we need to stay here for about five more fucking minutes, Gilbert," Lovino said forcefully.

"Are you alright, Lovi?" Antonio asked, sounding concerned, but he had a hint of a smile on his face. He probably had already figured out what was going on, and was now waiting for Lovino to go through his process or whatever. The guy probably found it amusing or some dumb shit like that.

"Fan-fucking-tastic, Antonio," Lovino replied. "Now leave me alone!"

"Okay, but please remember to watch your language." With that last reminder, the orderly retreated back to the couch. Gilbert wondered if he was watching the children's show alone, but then he noticed that Kiku was peeking out from under the couch. _How the fuck did he fit under there?_ He wondered in distress.

"Hey! You paying attention?" Lovino asked angrily.

"Lovino, if you don't get your ass over there and do whatever you want to do, I swear to God I'm leaving right now," Gilbert responded. "Make out—I mean make up with him already."

"How do you know that's what I want to do?" Lovino retorted. "Maybe I just want to watch Dora?"

Gilbert suddenly cracked up at the notion of _Lovino_ actually _wanting_ to watch any show meant for children. Let alone _Dora the Explorer_.

"Shut up ass wipe!" Lovino snapped, stomping off towards the couch. When he arrived, he plopped himself next to Antonio. Several moments later his head leaned just _slightly_ toward the orderly's shoulder. Antonio simply patted his companion's shoulder warmly, a big smile back on his face. "Don't touch me, bastard," Lovino grumbled.

"Whatever you say, Lovi."

"And don't call me that either! For fuck's sakes what is wrong with all these fucking—"

"Language, Lovi!"

"What! I tell you not to and you do it again! What is wrong with you?"

By this time, Gilbert had wandered his way over to the couch, having nothing better to do than watch _Dora_.

"What do you think you're doing?" Lovino asked angry. "Sit on the floor!"

"Lovi!" Antonio chided.

"You haven't seen all the shit he gives me! He's a complete dickhead fuck—"

"Lovino!"

Laughing softly under his breath at Lovino's colorful language. Gilbert sat on the couch anyway.

"What! Get off!"

It was such a relief to go back to the usual routine of watching kids' shows and pissing his moody roommate off.

* * *

He was stupid to believe it really.

After just a half an hour of the normalcy of watching g-rated television, Gilbert had allowed himself to relax. Things just felt like they had been put back together. Things finally felt a little okay.

How stupid was he?

Well, he thought as he picked at his lasagna, At least Arthur doesn't seem mad at me.

Across the table, said Brit was apparently too busy fussing over the unresponsive Alfred to interact with any of his tablemates. Alfred, for what it was worth, didn't seem angry either, but the fact that he was currently choosing to lay his head face first against the table made it hard to tell.

Suddenly, Gilbert felt an intrusive hand on his thigh, along with the sudden need to resist punching a certain _someone_ in the face.

"Oh hon hon hon!" Francis chuckled next to him, seemingly oblivious to the fact that his hand was currently being forcibly removed from its position. "It was so boring without you today! All I had was boring old Arthur for company!"

"He's fine!" Arthur suddenly snapped. "I'm dealing with it okay? Will you guys just bugger off…" Gilbert stared in his direction for several moments before realizing that Arthur wasn't talking to anyone visible.

"And he keeps doing that!" Francis wailed. "It's absolute torture being in the company of such an individual! Bookish…frumpy…"

"Uh huh," Gilbert mumbled.

"It was horrible! Unbearable!" Francis continued to whine. "I'm amazed I even survived such torture!"

"What the fuck is this shit?" Lovino exclaimed, plopping down in the seat on the other side of Gilbert. "What bastardization of Italian cuisine will they think of next? No food is safe! Fuck!"

"Looks fine to me," a voice said from behind them. Gilbert whirled around to see the bright pink, kitty-adorned scrubs of Yao. "Don't you think so, Alfred?" the nurse asked, taking a seat next to the blonde.

"…shit…" Lovino cursed under his breath. "This is a shit storm waiting to happen."

"I think it's delicious!" Francis yelled. "Do you want to know what I had for lunch? It was fabulous! Not even Arthur's charmless demeanor could ruin it!"

"Not right now, Francis," Yao said. "In a moment, though. Maybe you could tell your friends about it?"

"Don't even think about it," Lovino growled. "I don't give a shit."

"Don't touch me," Gilbert snapped, wincing away from an advancing hand. Once he was sure of his safety, however, he turned his attention to the other side of the table. Yao was currently attempting to get Alfred to try some food, but it appeared that even communicating was proving to be an issue.

"Alfred, would you like to try some lasagna?" Yao asked. "It's a tasty treat, I'm sure…" He pushed the tray he was previously holding towards Alfred. "Yummy, right?" Alfred said nothing in return, but moved slightly away from the offered plate.

"Alfred?" Yao asked. "Are you going to talk to me?"

No answer.

"Alfred," Yao said more sternly. "I need you to try to eat some of your dinner."

To this, Alfred mumbled something incomprehensible.

"What was that?" Yao asked. "You need to lift your head up so I can understand you."

"No!" Alfred shouted, yet didn't move and thus was still muffled by the table.

"Alfred, let's not make this a repeat of lunch. Let's eat at least…"

"No!" Alfred yelled, turning his head to face Yao, but still not sitting up fully. "I'm not hungry!"

"Alfred, you know the rules," Yao said sternly. "You need to…"

"I need Mattie!"

"Do you need to talk to Dr. Braginskaya?"

"NO! I _need_ to talk to Mattie!"

"Alfred, are you going to cooperate?" Yao asked, obviously not going to take any nonsense. "Or do you want to see your doctor?" Gilbert gulped inwardly. The 'see your doctor' question was never a good sign.

"NO! NO! DOUBLE NO!" Alfred screamed, snapping up in his seat. The sudden movement almost resulted in him head butting Arthur, who thankfully moved away just in time. The poor man seemed to want to help, but was too shocked and confused to do so.

"Do you want to drink Ensure again?" Yao asked. "We can do that; you like the chocolate don't you?"

"I'M NOT HUNGRY!"

"Then we need to go talk to Dr. Braginskaya."

"NO!"

"Alfred," Yao commanded. "You only have two choices here, and that's not one of them."

"WHERE'S MATTIE?"

"Go ahead and call Dr. Braginskaya," Yao said to Carlos, who had mysteriously appeared behind Gilbert. The orderly nodded and began speaking into his radio. Gilbert noticed that a couple other orderlies had started hanging around their table's vicinity.

"I DON'T WANT THAT! I'M NOT HUNGRY!" Alfred screamed, pushing away from the table as if he was about to stand up.

"Stay in your seat," Yao commanded. Alfred sat, apparently listening for the time being.

"Now can you just try one fork full…? Or some Ensure…"

Gilbert continued to watch the scene, trying to overcome the discomfort he felt from the situation. He still couldn't shake the blame he put on himself.

Suddenly, Antonio appeared behind him. It wasn't so surprising considered the large amount of personal already around them. "You four, come with me," he said.

"But…" Arthur whispered.

"Let's go to another table," Antonio suggested firmly. "Come on."

Gilbert and the others stood up hesitantly, very aware of the scene before them.

"I want Mattie!" Alfred yelled, scooting farther away from Yao in his seat. "I just want Mattie!"

"You need to be patient, Alfred."

"NO!"

"Saying 'no' over and over isn't going to get you what you want."

"NO!"

Gilbert stood frozen in where he was standing in a kind of horrific awe. Arthur mirrored his actions, looking extremely worried. Francis, on the other hand, had already skipped away from the table, happily oblivious to the problems of others.

"Psst, dumbass, let's get the fuck out of crazy town, shall we?" Lovino hissed in his ear, causing Gilbert to jump.

"…what?" Gilbert asked, confused.

"Start walking before Antonio drags you away," Lovino explained testily, shoving him slightly.

"Guys, are you coming?" the orderly asked, already leading a shocked Arthur away from the table.

"Yes," Lovino huffed, storming forward, gripping Gilbert's arm as he did so. "Gilbert, come," he commanded.

"Hey! I'm not a dog!" Gilbert protested, shrugging out of his grasp. "And I'm coming, okay?"

"Then don't be stupid," Lovino growled, continuing to walk quickly towards Antonio. Gilbert followed, looking backwards toward Alfred as he did. Even when he and his roommate reached the table, he forwent eating in order to continue watching. Dr. Braginskaya had finally arrived on the scene and was attempting to control the situation.

"NO! NO! NO! I DON'T WANT TO!" Alfred suddenly screamed in a response to a suggestion apparently brought forth.

His doctor simply sat next to him, speaking quietly. Alfred responded by throwing his tray across the table.

"Good thing we left or you would've gotten nailed with that," Lovino commented.

"Oh, just like you almost hit me with a book earlier."

"What was that? 'Thanks Lovino for saving my face'?" Lovino snapped. "That's what I thought."

"Thank you Lovi for saving my face," Gilbert repeated reluctantly.

"That's bett—hey! Is that what I said?" Lovino asked. "Did I say _that_ nickname? _No_. The answer is no!"

"Come on Alfred, let's continue this conversation in your room," Dr. Braginskaya could be heard as Alfred was ushered into the standing position by a couple orderlies.

Alfred was eerily silent as he was escorted out of the room, but several minutes after his departure, more yelling could be heard coming from down the hall.

"This sucks," Gilbert sighed.

"It sure does," Francis sniffed. "No one's paying any attention to me!"

* * *

"Hold Mrs. Sparkle Princess for me, will you?"

"Um, sure. No problem, bro," Gilbert said, taking the pink toy from his companion. He held the gingerly, afraid to somehow break it or mess it up. He was already nervous about speaking with Arthur about what happened the night before. He wanted to apologize, or _something_, but wasn't sure how. He had agreed to Arthur's request of an after dinner chess match in hopes of building up the courage.

"Thank you," Arthur sniffed, dropping the box for the chess set on the table in front of them. He set the cardboard lid aside and began to set up the chessboard. "I'm sure you remember that one of the white rooks is actually a checker."

"Yeah, I do…"'

"And that this die represents a black knight."

"Yes, but I…"

"Oh and we have to use some Sorry markers in place of a couple of lost pawns."

"What about the 'Super Knight Attack'?" Gilbert asked, remembering one of Alfred's favorite illegal moves.

"That doesn't exist," Arthur muttered, adding, "Alfred's not here right now," under his breath.

"Oh, sorry…" Gilbert said quietly, instantly regretting what he had said.

"May I have Mrs. Sparkle Princess back?" Arthur simply asked, holding out his arms.

"Sure…" Gilbert sighed, handing back the plush toy.

"Thank you," Arthur said, stroking the pony's sparkly mane. "And don't be sorry. It's not your fault that things are messed up right now," he added, sitting down in his seat. "Now shall we…"

"But…but…" Gilbert stuttered, sitting down as well albeit much less gracefully. His chair almost toppled over due to the wobbliness of his coordination. "It, it, is my fault… I took Alfred to see Matt…and I screwed it all up and I shouldn't have even taken him and the first place and…"

"Gilbert, what are you even talking about?" Arthur asked.

"I'm just really, _really_ sorry Arthur…" Gilbert sighed, playing with a chess piece mindlessly.

"You know, Lovino and I also came up with the idea to sneak out, it wasn't just you," Arthur said after a couple moments of silence. "What, do you think that because you were the one who took Alfred up to the solitary ward, it's your fault he's upset now?"

"Um, yeah."

"That's absolute rubbish."

"But…I screwed up…it didn't work."

"It was a misguided adventure from the start," Arthur sniffed. "Remember _who_ advised you on how to get to solitary. A nutter with trolls for friends, that's who."

"But…"

"Look," Arthur sighed. "As far as I'm concerned, you did more for Alfred that _I _could have done. I share just as much blame as…"

"Arthur, don't say that…" Gilbert interjected.

"Well, was it _your_ fault too, that Matthew was in solitary in the first place?" Arthur suddenly snapped. "_No_. And it's not mine either. So just leave me alone about okay? I—we—didn't do anything on purpose so _you guys_ can just leave me—us—be. Just stop…"

"Um, Arthur?" Gilbert asked, a little confused at who his companion was suddenly talking to. It kind of sounded like he was still talking to Gilbert, or maybe was talking about him to some invisible entity but he wasn't sure.

"STOP TALKING TO ME!" Arthur yelled, hitting the table unexpectedly.

"Um, okay…" Gilbert said, getting up out of his seat.

"Wait," Arthur said, sounding a bit upset. "I uh, wasn't talking to you… Don't go, I still want to play chess. Okay? Just don't mind the others; they're in a bad mood about something."

"I'll just ignore them then," Gilbert said, sitting back down.

"Good. Now, would you rather be black or white?"

* * *

After about five games of chess, the pair had settled down to watch some TV before lights out. Lovino had joined them sometime after an episode of Dragon Tales started, crossing his arms over his chest as he plopped onto the couch.

"This show sucks," he huffed.

"Sorry, the Maury Show wasn't on," Gilbert teased. "So we had to watch this."

"Oh please, we haven't been able to watch that show since Antonio walked in during the line 'she's like a toilet seat: she's white and everybody's used her'," Lovino rolled his eyes as he quoted the show.

"Good riddance," Arthur said. "That was a horrid show; a terrible way to entertain yourself…"

Suddenly he ceased talking in order to look towards the hallway.

"Oh, Matthew's back," he said quietly.

Said blonde was currently being escorted towards his room by Carlos and his doctor. His gaze was glued to the floor as he shuffled down the hall.

"Is he going to be all loopy and weird now?" Gilbert blurted out. "You know, like Mikkel was?"

"Um," Arthur started.

"I mean, sorry pretend I never asked that…"

"He may be a little, but probably not," Lovino answered, despite Gilbert's request. He was once again channeling his job of guiding Gilbert apparently. "A lot of the time, solitary is just somewhere that they put you until the heavy meds wear off so they can make sure you won't go ballistic after the sedatives are out of your system."

"But Mikkel was…"

"What?" Lovino asked. "High out of his mind? That's because they mess with his dosage after he punches something."

"Or someone," Arthur added daintily.

"That's kind of what being in a place like this works; they're trying to figure out what's wrong with you and what kind of medication will make it better," Lovino explained. "It's kind of a trial and error kind of thing, I guess."

"I don't think they'll put Matthew anything too strong," Arthur said, as if trying to assure Gilbert of their friend's wellbeing. "He's not usually prone to choking people, you know."

"Um, yeah, I know," Gilbert mumbled.

"Everything will be back to normal soon," Arthur said softly, patting Gilbert's kneed comfortingly. Gilbert wasn't sure how much he liked being babied by the English gentleman.

"If by normal you mean totally screwed up, but not as much as it is now," Lovino scoffed.

"Yes, that is exactly what I mean," Arthur hissed. "…wanker…"

Yet, the next day, when the twins refused to sit with the group at breakfast, Gilbert wondered if everything really would return to their fucked-but-not-_that _-fucked-up version of normal.

* * *

Author's fun time! (very long, sorry!)

Firstly, story notes:

Ensure is a drink type thing that has nutrients and calories, it's usually for people who are having a difficult time eating full meals.

The Maury Show quote is totally real. I did not invent it.

Excuses for being late:

Okay, so as you probably know the chapter was first delayed due to school exams and papers. But, after I was done with school for the summer I got a really bad cold, which I tried to write through, but what came from _that_ was some really, really bad writing. So I had to throw that out. Then, even before I was all the way better, I went to work, which I lived at, so I had absolutely no privacy to work on a fic. THEN, while I was at work I had a family emergency, so when I came home from work, I was helping with that. SO ANYWAYS, the universe didn't want me to update. Or something.

In short, I am truly sorry for not updating in so long, but I was always thinking of the fic and trying to write this chapter. I have not abandoned this fic, I love it too much to do that. I still have ideas, and I'm happy that this arc is more or less finished so I can continue with some things that I've been excited to write about.

Lastly, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 200 REVIEWS! I love you guys, I really do. I'm sorry for the delay, and for not replying. I will start replying probably tomorrow because it's really late now and I'm trying to get this chapter in asap.

Thanks for sticking with me,

xoxo

Pi


	13. Chapter 13

Author's note: Hey everyone! First off, I am so, so, so sorry for taking so long to update. It's just unforgivable that I've taken this long to update. I don't have one reason, but writer's block was a big factor, as well as school and all the other stressors in my life. Then I thought it was going to be ready in late January, but I wanted to add another scene, but it just wasn't coming out right! I then realized that it wouldn't work with this chapter so basically that was another delay for basically nothing SORRY! Please, read on, I hope you enjoy!

* * *

"They're not sitting with us are they?" Gilbert asked his tablemates. Or, he appeared to ask his tablemates. They probably couldn't tell if he was actually speaking to them since his eyes were pretty much glued to his tray. But really, how could he help it if pushing around his cut up bits of waffle was much more bearable than watching the twins walk away from them?

"It seems so," Arthur answered quietly, before resuming his hushed conversation with 'Tinkerbelle' or whoever. Gilbert wasn't exactly sure which ones of Arthur's friends were present at the moment. All he knew was that he was not sitting on any of them.

"Um, yeah, okay. Unawesome then," he muttered, still not looking up.

Although he was trying with all his might to ignore the fact that Alfred and Matthew were apparently ignoring him, his peripheral vision ended up screwing him over. He watched out of the corner of his eye as the two of them walked past, accompanied by both Yao and Carlos. Yao was trying to give Alfred some sort of breakfast pep talk of sorts, but his patient was giving him no response. Not realizing he was now full on staring, Gilbert watched them walk farther and farther away. It got to the point that he was actually craning his neck to follow with his gaze.

True to his word, things were still definitely unawesome. Not awesome in the least. Somewhere in the small, hopeful part of his mind, he had told himself that the situation would be better in the morning. Of course, everything was still shitty. Honestly, what did he think was going to happen? It was like he was back to square one with those two. Hell, Alfred probably hated him all over again now, and he wouldn't be surprised if Matthew did too. He clenched his fist around his poor, plastic fork at that thought.

_What if they never sit with you again?_ a small voice in his head asked. But, no, they came back last time. Maybe they do that. Maybe that's their thing. Arthur doesn't seem concerned…but if they don't come back… _What if we're not friends anymore?_ As soon as that thought crossed his mind, he immediately started to feel his chest tighten. Something about that one thought was almost beyond comprehension. The mere thought of losing them as friends brought an explosion of anxious blathering to his mind. How could he never talk to them again? What would happen if they never forgave him and they just kept avoiding him forever? The fear of losing their friendship seemed to bring greater pain than any of the past friendships he had actually lost. There was something that he absolutely did not want to lose. He _couldn't _lose. He just _couldn't_…

"Bloody hell, Gilbert, you think your hash browns are mashed by now!?" Arthur asked loudly.

"Just shut up!" Gilbert yelled instinctively, suddenly realizing that he had been slamming his fork repetitively into his potato side dish for some time now. Feeling the eyes of several staff members on him, he scooped up some of the decimated hash browns. "I mean, um, yes!" he said, still rather loudly, shoveling them into his mouth. "Tastes awesome this way!"

"Yes, ah, very well," Arthur said awkwardly, obviously confused by Gilbert's behavior.

"Weirdo," Lovino muttered as he turned to the next page in his book, not bothering to look up.

"How's your crappy romance novel there, Lovi?" Gilbert snapped at him, irritated by his roommate's comments and itching to dig at someone, _anyone_, to take his mind off the current situation.

"Better than listening to your crybaby whining," Lovino shot back. "God, just get over it already, will you?" He growled sighing loudly as he returned to his novel.

"Like you've gotten over Antonio?" Gilbert said under his breath. Usually, Lovino's remarks didn't faze him but he just wasn't in the mood to take it. That asshole knew he was upset and had to point it out. This just wasn't the day that he would take all the petty shit that Lovino dished out. Who cares if he went a little below the belt?

Lovino slammed down his book on the table, glaring at Gilbert with a look that could curdle milk. "Fuck you," he spat. "Seriously, take your whining, crybaby ass and go fuck yourself, fucking bastard!"

"Lovino, watch your mouth!" Arthur hissed, butting in. "The fairies won't tolerate such language and—"

"Shut the motherfucking fuck up!" Lovino yelled. "I'm not going to sit here and take shit from an albino fucktard who has no friends!"

"What is that supposed to mean?" Gilbert snapped, so angry that he was about to start mashing his potatoes again.

"Fuck you, that's what that meant." Lovino growled before yelling even louder, "You're a fucking social retard and I'm fucking done with your whiny ass shit!" He stood up from his chair, knocking it over in the process. The yelling coming from their table had already caught the attention of several staff members, but by some sick twist of fate, it was Antonio who finally decided to step in try to take control of the situation.

"Is something the matter, guys?" He asked, looking like he was trying to act casual, but it was obvious that he was on edge.

"Yes, something is the matter!" Lovino yelled, kicking the knocked-over chair. "It's this motherfucking fuckface!" He screamed, pointing at Gilbert, who just rolled eyes.

"Fuckface? That all you got, Lovi?" he snickered.

"Now, let's try to talk this out and get to the bottom of this." Antonio suggested, looking back and forth between the two roommates. "Should I get Dr.—"

"Fuck that!" Lovino snapped, before raising his voice once again. "Take me away from this fucking asshole douchebag!" He turned away from the table in a huff and started walking towards the cafeteria door with Antonio not far behind.

"Yeah, go spend some time with your _boyfriend_, Lovino!" Gilbert called after them, hoping to get the last word.

Unfortunately, his plan backfired as Lovino practically ran back towards him.

"Shut your fucking mouth you fucking idiot bastard!" He screamed, banging his hands on the table. "You don't know anything! Your motherfucking birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory! Fuck you, you motherfu—"

"Lovino!" Antonio scolded, obviously trying to coax him away from the quickly escalating situation.

Gilbert was completely shocked and enraged by Lovino's comments. "Fuck you!" he yelled. "Now I see why everyone hates you so much. Maybe I'll move out. LIKE ALL YOUR OTHER ROOMMATES!"

"BE MY GUEST, ASSHAT!" Lovino screamed back. "I'm like being alone anyway," he spat.

"Is that what you tell yourself to get to sleep at night?" Gilbert hissed. "That's the reason you aren't in a relationship isn't it? Or is it because you're a CRAZY BASTARD!"

"Guys, cool it." Antonio warned. The two of them were beginning to get closer and closer to each other, getting dangerously close to screaming in each other's faces. Gilbert failed to notice that the rest of the table's occupants had already been removed by other staff members.

"Fuck you! Fuck you! FUCK YOU!" Lovino screamed, lunging forward. Fortunately for Gilbert, Antonio easily caught the enraged Italian.

"I'm calling Dr. Edelstein," the orderly said matter-of-factly as he placed himself forcefully between the fighting roommates. "This has gone far enough and—"

"Don't bother, I'm done with this shit," Gilbert said, glaring at his roommate. He pushed past Lovino and Antonio towards the exit of the cafeteria. Surprisingly, no one attempted to stop him.

He could hear Antonio speaking in the distance, "Let's just let the situation cool down for a moment…"

Gilbert was right, this morning was possibly the most unawesome ever. Worse than unawesome, even. This was perhaps the worst morning he'd had in a long while.

And he didn't even have any alcohol. Great. Just great.

* * *

Gilbert stormed down the hallway, lost in his angry thoughts. He couldn't believe some of the shit Lovino had said. Granted, he may have said some terrible things too, but he couldn't imagine that his roommate would betray him in such a way. Why did this keep happening to him? Aside from West, practically every relationship he formed ended in flames. Fuck, even his relationship with his brother was volatile at times. However, he never expected practically _all _the friends he made here to dump all in one day. _Well, that's what you get for making friends in the nuthouse_, he thought bitterly as he turned the corner and stomped into his room. _Just a bunch of no-good, crazy, ass—_

"Oof!" he cried, startled by the fact that he had suddenly run into something—or someone—upon entering his room. "What the fuck!" he yelled.

"Bruder, do you really have to use that language?" Ludwig asked. He looked slightly displeased and uncomfortable…wait? West was here? Gibert stared for a moment at his brother, who was standing awkwardly in the middle of the room. It appeared that West had just recently arrived, because the staff members had yet to tell Gilbert anything about his brother coming for a visit. However, it was very strange that West had not called ahead before visiting. Usually, his brother liked to schedule all of his plans weeks in advance, keeping meticulous lists of activities. It was not like him to do anything remotely spontaneous.

"West? What are you doing here?" Gilbert asked, sounding slightly accusatory due to his left over rage from his fight with Lovino.

"Visiting you of course," Ludwig huffed. "I found out that I had a little time off since it is Saturday and I thought it would be a good time to discuss—"

All of the sudden, Gilbert realized how rude he must have sounded before. His brother appeared to be a bit put off and seemed a little…nervous? Gilbert wasn't sure what he would be nervous about, but chalked it up to anxiety from the spontaneity of the visit. Or maybe he had already sensed that Gilbert was in a bad mood and was gearing up for another of their spectacular fights. Not wanting his brother to leave, Gilbert decided to start damage control.

"All that matters is that you're here!" he said, trying to lighten the mood a bit. It sounded forced, but he really did feel better with his brother visiting, Seeing Ludwig did a full one-eighty to his mood. Finally something good was happening to him!

"Yes, well, Gilbert, I have er, something to tell you," Ludwig said, motioning for him to sit down on the bed. Gilbert just stared at him, confused with his tone. Suddenly, he started to get a bit nervous, fearing the worst. What news was West planning to tell him? Was Gilbird okay? Apparently, Ludwig caught his panicked expression, "Now, don't take it the wrong way. It's not something to be upset about…hopefully." he said slowly, looking like he was expecting his brother to start yelling any moment. "But, I mean…Feliciano and I have something to tell you."

"Wait…what? Feliciano?" Gilbert said, confused, but slightly relieved that their conversation couldn't be too distressing if it involved his brother's overly happy partner. However, he did not notice Feliciano when he walked in the room. Then again, he didn't really notice Ludwig either, that is, until he ran straight into him in a blind rage.

"Hello!" Feliciano called cheerily, appearing from behind Ludwig. Gilbert jumped upon seeing him, wondering how he could have been completely unaware of Feliciano's presence.

"Oh hi, Feli…" he said, suddenly feeling slightly nervous. It had been a long time since he had seen Feliciano face to face. "I want to talk to you about something, I guess. About that dinner…"

"Oh that's okay, Gilbert! I forgive you!" Feliciano quickly chirped happily.

"Uh, okay then?" Gilbert said, confused. Apologizing was easier than he thought. Did things like this usually go so smoothly? Maybe, just maybe, this would turn out to be a good day after all.

"Feliciano is moving in with us," Ludwig blurted out suddenly.

"What?!" Gilbert yelled. Apparently, he was wrong about today. Yet again, the shit was hitting the fan.

"Gilbert, we want to move forward in our relationship and—" Ludwig said quietly. "I thought you were okay with this. Us together…"

"I am!" Gilbert snapped, not sounding very convincing. "But where is going to sleep, huh? Because he is _not_ staying in Vater's room. Nobody is staying in there! _Nobody_, West! If you do anything to that room, I swear to God, I'll—" he ranted, getting more and more upset. He and Ludwig had a nonverbal agreement about that room. It was off limits. It's not like they needed to use it. Ludwig stayed in their old bedroom while Gilbert was content to sleep in the basement. Neither of them had close enough friends to entertain the prospect of a guest room. Gilbert himself never ventured past the doorway. He assumed West dusted its contents occasionally, but nothing more. In that room, everything was how their father left it. Gilbert liked it that way. That's how it supposed to be. Distressing thoughts of someone who was not his father occupying that room filled his head as he ranted frantically to his brother. His fight with Lovino was probably not helping his composure either. "I'll…I'll…" He sputtered, helpless in his emotions.

"Bruder, relax!" Ludwig said, reaching out to grip his shoulders. "He's going to be staying in my room." He said firmly.

"In your room? Sleeping with you?" Gilbert asked.

"Yes," Ludwig answered hesitantly, as if he suspected his answer could lead to another outburst. Once he was sure Gilbert wasn't going to yell again, he released his grip awkwardly.

"Well, that's fine then." Gilbert said suddenly. Even he was surprised with the relief he felt. Was he really okay with what his brother had proposed?

"Uh, that's good then, ja?" Ludwig said quietly, appearing to be a bit confused. "But Gilbert, are you feeling ok—"

"Veee~ Yay!" Feliciano cheered, speaking over Ludwig's inquiry. He grabbed Ludwig's arm and began jumping up and down happily. "Thank you, Gilbert! This is a happy day, yeah?"

Yes, it did seem to be a happy day. That is, until the warm feelings in the room were shattered by Lovino bursting through the door. "What the hell is going on here?" he screamed.

"Lovino!" Feliciano squeaked. "I was about to ask where you were…I have some news to tell you and—"

"What is _he_ doing here?" Lovino asked, glaring at Ludwig.

"Uh, that's my—" Gilbert started to explain, but was cut off by the enraged Lovino.

"I didn't ask _you_, asshat!" Lovino yelled. "Fratello, can you _please_ tell me why that motherfucking, potato-eating, Nazi rapist is in _my_ room?"

"Fratello!" Feliciano cried. "Please, I told how I feel about you calling Ludwig names. He's a nice man and doesn't deserve—"

"What the fuck did you just call my _brother_?!" Gilbert yelled.

"Oh, you didn't hear?" Lovino snapped. "I said he's a motherfucking, potato—"

"You're dead." Gilbert growled, before yelling, "YOU'RE DEAD!" He stepped closer to his roommate, but Ludwig quickly blocked his way.

"Bruder, no." he warned. Gilbert simply huffed in response, but remained where he was.

"Fratello, please be happy! Ludwig and I are moving in together!" Feliciano called out somewhat happily, apparently in a misguided attempt to smooth things over. Gilbert couldn't comprehend why in the world Feliciano would think that revealing that information would somehow make the situation better. Unsurprisingly, Lovino did not take the announcement very well.

"What the fucking fuck?!" he screamed, even more angry than before. "You can't do this to me! Betraying me for that _German scum_! How dare you!"

"Fratello, please calm down!" Feliciano pleaded, appearing disheartened that his attempt to calm down his brother had not worked. "Please don't be angry…"

"Calm down? Calm down?! CALM DOWN!?" Lovino yelled. "How can I be calm when my little fratello is moving in with a disgusting potato bastard?!"

At that moment, Antonio appeared in the door. "Oh, Lovino, there you are!" he said, sounding somewhat relieved. "When you just bolted on me I was afraid that you and Gilbert had started fighting again!"

Lovino didn't even appear to notice that Antonio had entered the room, he simply continued to rant, "I can't fucking believe that you're moving in with that asshole! Does that mean you're moving out the flat above the restaurant? Fine! Just leave me for that German bastard!"

"Will you shut the fuck up about my brother?!" Gilbert yelled, side-stepping his way around Ludwig. He had been quiet for the sake of his brother, but he couldn't take any more of this shit!

"I can say whatever I want to!" Lovino snapped. "Your _brother_ is taking advantage of my innocent fratello! I won't stand for my poor, sweet, Feliciano to be tainted!"

"So that's how it is, huh?" Gilbert growled. "You never were my friend were you? How could I not see what a horrible person you really are?"

"No, no…Gilbert that's not true!" Feliciano butted in. "Let's all get along, please?"

"Fuck no! I'm not dealing with this asshole any longer!" Gilbert yelled.

"Good because I'm done with you and your bastardo brother," Lovino snapped back. "You're a whiny sack of shit who fucking freaked out at me for nothing because you're fucking crazy!"

"I'm not the one who keeps losing roommates!" Gilbert growled. "And guess what? You just lost another one!" With that, he stormed out the door, stomping down the hall without a clue where to go.

* * *

Gilbert sighed to himself as he continued to stomp down the hallway, glaring at any staff that showed concern. "I'm fine okay!" he screamed a nurse as she passed by. "Just fucking leave me alone…"

Suddenly, he heard the creak of a door and a soft whisper, "Gilly?" The noise appeared to come from a nearby closet door that was open just a crack.

"What?!" he yelled at the closet door, not caring if anyone was actually there or if he was hallucinating in his rage.

"Come here…" the voice whispered again.

"Why?" Gilbert asked, now confused as he stared at the inanimate object he was talking to.

"We need to have a hero meeting!" the voice said louder, but the outburst was followed by a loud _shush!_ Gilbert suddenly thought he recognized the voice behind the door, as if the vocabulary was not enough of a clue.

"Alfred?" he asked, creeping closer to the door.

"Hurry! Get in here!" the voice, which probably belonged to Alfred, hissed. Gilbert numbly stepped up to the door and stood by the slight opening. All of the sudden, an arm shot out from the closet and dragged him within. "Oof!" he cried, slightly startled by the movement. The closet door closed with a soft click behind him. He shuffled around until he found a place to sit around the brooms and cleaning supplies in the janitorial closet. Apparently, the cleaning staff had no concept of locking doors. Either that, or someone around here was excellent at picking locks.

"What are you guys doing here?" he asked once he was comfortable. Of course, the small space was completely dark save for the sliver of light peeking out from under the door. Despite this, he faced the silhouettes that he was now positive were the twins.

"What we usually do in closets!" Alfred answered.

"Make out?" Gilbert supplied, not really thinking about his answer.

"Ew no!" Alfred said loudly. Matthew shushed him again.

"What? That's what I did in high school…you know make out with someone in a closet? Or behind the bleachers. Or in the bathroom. Or in city park. You know, anywhere that your strict father can't find you…" Gilbert mumbled.

"Mattie is wondering if you're feeling okay today, Gilbert?" Alfred answered.

"I'm fine!" Gilbert snapped. "What makes you think I'm not okay?" His previous bad mood clouded his awareness that the twins were _finally _talking to him again and the fact that he was currently ruining every moment of their reunion.

"Mattie saw you and Lovino fighting in the cafeteria…" Alfred explained, sounding a bit dejected.

"Wait, you noticed that?" Gilbert asked. He saw the shadowy figure of Matthew nod across from him. Because, really, how could have anyone not noticed the spectacle at breakfast? "But I thought you were mad at me?"

"What?!" Alfred asked loudly, clearly surprised. Matthew shushed him once again. "We weren't mad at you? What made you think that?"

"You didn't sit with us at breakfast," Gilbert said matter-of-factly. After all, it made perfect sense to him. Why else would they ignore him?

"That's silly!" Alfred laughed. Suddenly, Gilbert could hear Matthew faintly whispering in his brother's ear. "Mattie says that we were just having a difficult time. But that's fixed now, because we're going to stay in this closet until lunch is over. Right Mattie?" Alfred paused to let Matthew talk, but his twin did not appear to say anything. After awhile, Alfred just answered for him. "Right!"

"Right…" Gilbert mumbled.

"So, Gilly? What happened?" Alfred asked, sounding a bit excited. Gilbert could hear Matthew whispering again. Alfred whispered quietly back "Oh right!" before adding, "But if you don't want to talk about it…it's okay!"

"Lovino's just a motherfucking asshole, that's all," Gilbert said simply, his anger still prevalent in his tone.

"Oh…Mattie says that he can sound mean sometimes, but he doesn't think Lovino really means it!" Alfred said, somewhat gently.

"Oh he meant it alright," Gilbert growled. "He freaking called my brother a Nazi rapist for fuck's sake!"

"You're brother's here?!" Alfred said happily, only to be hushed once again.

"Yeah, he came to tell me that his boyfriend's moving in," Gilbert explained bitterly. "Who, apparently, is Lovino's brother. That's where the shit hit the fan: Lovino started screaming about how Ludwig was some filthy scum trying to take advantage of his brother and all this bullshit. It was fucking ridiculous." His rant ended with silence as a response. After a while though, he heard a long string of whispers coming from Matthew once again.

"Hmm…good point, Mattie," Alfred said, obviously to his brother. "Mattie says that he thinks that I would try to protect him in a situation like that. I am the hero after all, and I have to make sure that my brother is safe hands!"

"Yeah, but you don't even like it when people stand too close to your brother, let alone date him!" Gilbert replied.

"But brothers _always _look out for each other…" Alfred said quietly. "Wouldn't you do the same?"

"Yeah…well…Lovino's different…a fucking asshole of a difference!" Gilbert retorted. Suddenly, footsteps were heard outside the closet door.

"Everyone, shush!" Alfred said, somewhat loudly. Apparently he was unaware that he was the loudest of the three. As the footsteps drew nearer, they could make out a conversation being held.

"Well, that could have gone…better…" one of the voices said with a sigh. Gilbert recognized it instantly as Ludwig's.

"That's my brother…" he whispered to his companions. Alfred just shushed him much louder than necessary.

"Lovino will come around," a second voice answered, sounding obviously like Feliciano. "He's just trying to be protective."

"I swear it took a miracle for Gilbert to accept our relationship," Ludwig said, sighing again.

"Miracle…yeah right," Gilbert huffed.

"After the incident at the dinner table…I really didn't think things would ever work out," Ludwig admitted.

"Aw, Ludwig, but it did! You just have to be optimistic!" Feliciano chided.

"You didn't understand half the things Gilbert said…" Another sigh from Ludwig.

"It couldn't have been that bad, Luddie!"

"Believe me, it was."

Gilbert could just feel the accusatory look Matthew was probably, maybe giving him. Or, maybe he was imagining it. "What? I didn't do anything _nearly_ as bad as Lovino!" he hissed, regardless of if he was being judged or not.

"After today, I'm just not sure of how things are going to turn out…" Gilbert listened sadly as Ludwig's worried voice faded away as the pair walked towards the exit of the hospital. He swore he could faintly hear "I wish I could have said goodbye to him…" but it could just have been his imagination.

"I'm not as bad as Lovino, okay?" he said forcefully.

"Okay, Gilly! We believe you!" Alfred chirped loudly. Matthew didn't even bother to shush hum this time.

As the trio's conversation faded into a slightly awkward silence, Gilbert couldn't shake the feeling that, yes, he was as bad as Lovino. Maybe even worse. After all, he was the one who purposefully instigated their argument. And, at least Lovino didn't _break_ anything in his rage over his brother's relationship. Despite this, he couldn't stop being mad at his possibly now former roommate. He thought that he could trust Lovino on some basic level. He thought that as his friend, Lovino never would blatantly insult his beloved brother. Not when Lovino knew how important West was to Gilbert. He was so upset and frustrated; all he could do was revel in his thoughts and allow himself to slip into a rough sleep in the darkness of the tiny closet space.

* * *

A bright light suddenly shone into the small space, waking Gilbert up from his troubled sleep.

"Found 'em!" Carlos said loudly, speaking into his radio. "Beilschmidt is here too," he added. "Hello, boys. What have we talked about regarding unauthorized areas?" From the look on his face, this was a topic that Carlos often discussed with the twins. He was clearly not amused with the situation.

"If it's unlocked it's unlocked, right?" Alfred said. Gilbert wasn't sure if he was being cheeky or if he really was that ignorant of the rules.

"No, Alfred, you have been told to stay out of places like janitorial closets." Carlos sighed. "Most of the staff have been looking for you this past hour."

"Hour?" Alfred asked. "Did we miss lunch?" Gilbert didn't miss Matthew's wince at his brother's hopeful tone.

"No," Carlos said firmly. "But all three of you did miss morning group, and it seems to me that you want to eat your lunch in your rooms today."

"I don't want to go back to my room," Gilbert snapped. He doubted that the orderly would take his request seriously, but he was ready to put up a fight. Seeing Lovino again sounded like the worst possible thing he could do at the moment.

"Oh right, I heard about _that_," Carlos said, sighing heavily. Unlike Antonio, Carlos made it quite obvious that he didn't take very much bullshit from patients. "Quite a show you two put on at breakfast, huh?"

"It wasn't a show. And I'm not going back to my room." Gilbert repeated. Really, he was not in the mood anymore shit today. He wasn't just going to march back into the room and start another argument with Lovino. He couldn't tolerate anymore interaction with his soon-to-be ex-roommate. Not today, at least. Maybe not ever. Now that he had seen the true side of Lovino, he was done with their relationship. It wasn't worth it to him to be in yet another friendship full of fakery and spite. If Carlos wanted him to go face Lovino, he would have to drag him kicking and scream—

"Okay, now. Come on, let's go," Carlos said loudly, clearly not one for patience. Gilbert looked up, snapping out of his thoughts to glare fiercely at the orderly. To his dismay, Alfred and Matthew had already gotten up and out of the closet. When had they moved? He didn't remember noticing them walk past him. Gilbert watched as they stood slightly behind Carlos, resigned to following the orderly. They stared at him expectantly, identical expressions of worry evident on their faces.

"I said—" Gilbert protested yet again.

"I know what you said, Gilbert," Carlos replied forcefully, cutting him off. "And I _said_, 'fine, but we're going to go to the nurses' station to get your medication first.' Now, are you going to follow me, or do I have to help you?"

"What?" Gilbert asked, confused as to how he could have missed that part of their conversation. He got up anyway, figuring that anywhere was better than going to his room.

"We're going to get meds," Carlos said, sighing with what seemed like relief when Gilbert finally appeared to be cooperating. "Were you even listening half of what I said?"

"Not really," Gilbert said, shrugging. However, he was still trying to figure out how he had completely missed an entire part of their conversation. Was he so caught up in his thoughts about his fight with Lovino that he had missed what Carlos had said? Also, he also didn't remember Alfred and Matthew getting up next to him. This new information was starting to alarm him and—

"And there he goes again!" Carlos sighed, walking over to Gilbert and grabbing his elbow gently. "It's time to go," he said firmly as he began directing Gilbert towards the direction of the nurses' station.

"What?" Gilbert asked, surprised that he was suddenly moving along with Carlos' guidance. He yanked his arm away from the orderly in a huff. "I can walk myself, thanks."

"Fine." Carlos sighed, shaking his head. "As long as you keep walking, we won't have any more problems. Sound good?"

"Yeah," Gilbert huffed, following Carlos and the twins down the hall.

He was pretty much sick of this day and ready for it to be over. Not only had he just ruined his relationship with Lovino forever in one morning, he also missed out on what little time he had to spend with his brother. After all the shit Ludwig witnessed, Gilbert could pretty much kiss anymore visits goodbye. He was probably back to square one with Feliciano too. Hating someone's brother is not really the best way to have a good relationship with somebody. And now Feliciano was moving in! Gilbert was so surprised by the news and so angry about the events proceeding that he hadn't even had time to process this new development in his—or, more accurately—Ludwig's life. Poor Feliciano, with the way things are going, things were never going to work out. Gilbert will never be the pseudo-brother-in-law he deserves. Hell, so far every one of their conversations have ended in yelling and Gilbert stomping off somewhere. And honestly, if Gilbert's antics weren't enough to put strain on Feliciano and Ludwig's relationship, Lovino's outbursts and general hatred of Ludwig surely would.

What if Gilbert (or Lovino…or both) caused them to break up? Would Ludwig ever forgive him? Probably not. Or, an even more terrifying option, what if Ludwig and Feliciano got married?! What if they couldn't stand him in the house anymore and kicked him out? Gilbert sometimes suspected that life would be easier for Ludwig without his older brother living in the basement, but…would he really give him the boot? If Gilbert couldn't be nice to Feliciano…Ludwig might choose his lover over him, his very own brother! What if they figured out he was the problem? What if they already have? Wouldn't it be easier to get rid of him? What would happen to him if he didn't live with Ludwig? He couldn't hold a job, couldn't pay rent. He couldn't live in _this_ place forever. What if that was their plan? Just leave him here so they could live in peace together?

He stopped walking abruptly and turned around in the completely opposite direction.

"Hey!" Carlos called. "What do you think you're doing now?!"

Ignoring the orderly, Gilbert just sped up his pace. Honestly, he didn't have an answer for Carlos. He didn't know what he was doing, exactly. He just knew that he had to do _something_. He just wasn't sure what. He figured that heading for the exit was probably his best bet. It didn't even faze him that he had little idea where the front door of the hospital actually was, but he figured he would find it eventually. As long as he was heading in the direction away from his room, he should be doing okay, right? Maybe he just wanted to get away from here. Away from his room? Away from Lovino? Or, maybe, he just wanted out of the hospital. Maybe he just wanted to see his brother. He didn't even get to say goodbye this time. Shouldn't he try to catch up with Ludwig and Feliciano? If he did, maybe, just, maybe, he could make things right? Maybe, if he just caught up to them…they wouldn't kick him out in their inevitable post-marital bliss. Maybe he wouldn't lose his brother then.

His fast pace picked up until he was all-out running through the halls, not knowing where he was or where he was going. As long as he kept moving, he would be alright. He figured that as long as he kept going forward, he would find the way out. He just had to concentrate, which was strangely getting harder and harder. The longer he ran the more scared and panicky he felt. If he couldn't find West, nothing would ever be okay again. He just had to figure this one thing out with his brother, then he would be fine and everything would finally be okay and…

He stopped abruptly to stare at the locked door in front of him. Fighting back the urge to yell in frustration about the dead end, he slowly turned around, reading to start he search all over again.

"There you are, buddy." Antonio said, now suddenly in front of Gilbert. "Carlos said you just ran off, so I went looking for you."

Gilbert just stared at him, currently trying to figure out a way past the orderly.

"Come on, let's go." Antonio instructed, gently, reaching forward towards Gilbert, who instantly shied away.

"My brother…" he mumbled quickly, still trying to restart his search efforts.

"Left over an hour ago." Antonio answered, despite the fact that Gilbert wasn't really asking anything.

"What…?" Gilbert said quietly, not really noticing as Antonio gently guided him back toward the area he was previously so desperately trying to get away from.

* * *

"So Gilbert, I hear that you had quite the eventful morning today," Roderich said, staring at Gilbert across his desk as if the simple statement would lead to conversation.

"I guess so," Gilbert mumbled, averting his eyes from his questioning doctor. When Antonio found him lost in the hallway, Gilbert had assumed that he would be taken directly to the nurses' station. Instead, he found himself dropped off at Roderich's office. He stared at the two paper cups placed in front of him on the desk, too pissed off and frustrated to make a move.

"Are you going to take your medication today, Gilbert?" Roderich asked, quietly but with a bit of force to it. He didn't seem particularly pleased, but he voice didn't reflect very much emotion. Gilbert figured that it was some bizarre therapist technique. Or, his doctor was just trying not to cause him to blow up again. There was no doubt that Roderich had been notified of the events that took place earlier. Honestly, Gilbert was surprised that he hadn't been forced to apologize to Lovino yet.

"Gilbert?" Roderich asked, looking expectantly at him. His gaze kept alternating between Gilbert and cup of pills.

"Sure, fine, whatever." Gilbert grumbled, knocking back the pills in one go. He purposely forwent the cup of water. It kind of hurt on the way down, but he was beyond caring at this point.

"Thank you," Roderich said, as if Gilbert was doing him some kind of favor. "Now, since you are refusing to return to your room, you're going to have to have your lunch in here today. Is that okay?"

Gilbert was pretty sure it didn't matter if he said it was okay or not. Unsurprisingly, his silence was taken as an affirmative, and a nurse came in several minutes later with a tray of food that looked suspiciously like it was supposed to be macaroni and cheese. He picked up the plastic spork he was given and began poking at the dish, disturbed by its rubbery consistency.

"So, I heard your brother visited today," Roderich said after several moments of silence. Gilbert stopped shuffling the macaroni around long enough to give him an annoyed look. Couldn't he just eat one meal today in peace? He'd rather not relive the events surrounding his brother's visit at the moment. Or ever really. He didn't want to think, let alone talk about Lovino, Feliciano moving in or his how his brother's relationship will inevitability lead to his eviction.

One would think that his reluctance was obvious. One would think. Still, Roderich persisted, "How did it go?" his bastard doctor asked as if he didn't already know how it went.

"Shitty," Gilbert grumbled, returning to his macaroni. The only bright side to eating lunch in his doctor's office was that Roderich couldn't try to make small talk by asking what Gilbert had had for lunch that day. Which was a stupid approach to small talk anyway. Roderich was such a stupid, awkward idiot sometimes.

"Care to explain what happened?" Roderich pressed further. Gilbert just wanted him to shut up. Seriously, he just wanted to eat his lunch and then go to sleep until this horrible day was over. He chose to disregard the fact that he was currently refusing to return to his room and thus did not have a place to sleep. At this point, the couch in the common room sounded fine. Even if Dora Explorer was blasting on the TV. He didn't care. Fuck, he would even settle for crawling under a table like Kiku.

"Hmm, Gilbert, care to explain?" Roderich prompted again.

"Lovino," he finally deadpanned, not looking up from his food.

"Lovino what?" Roderich asked, "Come on, Gilbert, we've got to talk about this."

"Why?" Gilbert snapped. "I thought we only had to talk about what I wanted to here. Isn't that how this works?" He finally decided that finishing his lunch may make the horror of this conversation end quicker. Taking a deep breath, he shoved a large sporkful of macaroni in his mouth, chewing defiantly.

"We have to talk about what happened this morning, Gilbert," Roderich sighed, clearly getting a bit exasperated. "Because in the span of a few short hours, you managed to violate several hospital policies."

Gilbert just glared at him, chewing through the huge amount of macaroni he decided to take in one bite. That clearly wasn't a good idea.

"Fighting with other patients, going into unauthorized areas, missing group therapy, disobeying staff members—" Roderich listed off, staring at him accusatorily.

"God, Roddy, fuck, I know!" Gilbert shouted after finally swallowing the wad of macaroni. "Can you just get off my case right now? Why can't for one second, I get a break today?!" He was just so tired of everything going wrong. Why couldn't even his therapist get the hint that he was having a bad day and maybe just lighten up on him? Or just leave him alone? Couldn't he see that his patient was ten seconds away from banging his head repeatedly on the desk just to get some respite?

"Ah, I see," Roderich said quietly as if he was just now making an outstanding discovery. "I understand that you have probably had a hard time today, and I am sorry for pushing you."

"Finally," Gilbert sighed. He supposed that he should count the concession as a victory, but he was too beaten down to care anymore.

Roderich ignored his comment, but cleared his throat before continuing, "Well, we can put off talking about what happened today until our scheduled session on Monday, but remember, we will have to talk about some of the rules you broke due to your actions."

"Thanks, I guess…" Gilbert mumbled, not quite satisfied with the outcome. After all, he still would have to have an inevitably awkward conversation with Roddy about breaking the rules again, but at least there would be no more therapy today.

"And, you'll have to go afternoon group today," Roderich added.

"Shit…" Gilbert grumbled, picking at his macaroni once again. "Can I at least stop trying to eat this crap?" He pleaded.

Roderich looked at him for a moment before sighing, "Eat your apple and carrots. Then you can go."

There you go, Gilbert. One good thing for today. Not having to eat nasty macaroni. Yay.

* * *

Author fun time: I hope it was worth the wait? I feel so bad about how long I've left this. I think I have to really think about what needs to be in what chapter because the free-form semi-planned out kind of thing is definitely not working well anymore in terms of time management.

On the note of reviews, I will probably respond to new ones, but reviews from the last chapter are now so old that it feels weird responding…but I read them! Thank you thank you thank you! For the reviews! They still kick my butt! Even after a long time! Thanks for sticking with me, and thanks for the love. I write because I know people love it.


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